you mean platonic relationships?or do you mean a homosexual relationship....
On Sat, Jul 3, 2010 at 1:51 AM, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > " ... love is a choice and not a feeling." > > Definitely, in one perspective, love as ( an abiding ) choice is more > accurate than love as a ( fleeting ) feeling. But it's all so very > dynamic, with changing perspectives and contexts and meanings, leading > to different hierarchies of accuracy. > > No wonder, it is said love is everything ! In practice, love as it is > isn't something one would think about much or often ( in eastern > traditions ), except perhaps during periods of separation or loss. As > a relationship, it just continues to give strength and meaning to > oneself and one's life, unobtrusively and inscrutably. As an emotion, > in the internal environment appropriate to our higher nature, it fills > one's vitality and life - force with harmony and brings peace to our > psychic world. These are monumental developments in an individual's > being ... in the cause of calmness of mind, sound intellectuation and > true knowledge of oneself. > > Perhaps ? same sex relationships are more a matter of feeling than > commitment. > > On Jul 2, 7:23 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > We are lucky and that is what I try to impress upon others... love is > > a choice and not a feeling. Much different from infatuation and the > > pink clouds where everything is fluffy and light. When making the > > conscious choice to 'be in love' with someone (as if thats a choice) > > we are choosing all the heavy baggage and BS as well. I don't think I > > have ever chosen NOT to love anyone but I have selected the degrees of > > love I wish to assert (ie. "No, you carry that!" or "Let me help you > > with that"). Being 'in love' there are only two degrees; "I love you" > > or "I hope you die" :D > > > > On Jul 1, 8:34 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > I agree with you. Aren't we lucky to have that choice? > > > > > On Jun 30, 3:16 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > Life sometimes plays out like a novel, different twists and turns. > > > > Nothing like an ironic and tragic ending! At any time we may put the > > > > book down and pick up a different one that's more agreeable and life > > > > is such as well. > > > > > > On Jun 29, 9:28 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > But thinking more about this- why were you attracted to these women > to > > > > > begin with? Afterall, a label might just be a fable. It can be like > a > > > > > "get out of jail" card, I suppose, but doesn't really solve much > for > > > > > the supposedly "sane" partner.//I wrote lyric poetry for a while > and > > > > > it had its own music without the notes- a percussion?//Keep the > faith, > > > > > Darkwater! Lord- I was so enchanted and amazed to read a book the > last > > > > > couple of days- at first. By the end I was shattered and probably > > > > > won't read the others I've reserved at the library. Reminds me of > > > > > love! :-) > > > > > > > On Jun 29, 7:48 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > > > > > > Sometimes, both music and words come to me like getting struck by > > > > > > lightning. Wakes me up out of a sound sleep and I have to grab my > > > > > > guitar and a pad and paper.. Other times I'll start with a tune > and it > > > > > > can take months or even years before I write the lyrics. If I > write > > > > > > lyrics, though, there is already a tune, in my head if not a > comleted > > > > > > composition. I think that out of all the women I have been with, > there > > > > > > might be one or two that had their stuff together but again, I > was > > > > > > just 'fun to play with' for a while. The rest, if not already > > > > > > clinically diagnosed, they should be! The only long term > > > > > > relationships I've had were with total nut bags. :P I can only > claim > > > > > > responsibilty for one of them though. > > > > > > > > On Jun 29, 8:02 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > I used to liken it to the "Perils of Pauline" because I seemed > to > > > > > > > escape like that old silent film drama. Now, I consider my life > as an > > > > > > > interesting one- one I have tried to make sense of and I think > I > > > > > > > succeeded in many ways- but I'll die anyway! :-) I think > everyday of > > > > > > > those who have been caught up in war or sub-human conditions > and try > > > > > > > to be grateful and humble. My troubles and turmoil are/were > > > > > > > miniscule.//I tried to write lyrics for a composer friend but > found it > > > > > > > hard to write to his competed music- I think it's easier to > shape the > > > > > > > music to words- how about you?//I quit drinking nearly a year > ago and > > > > > > > am much happier with life and others. > > > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 8:07 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > Interesting that you bring up the point of 'creator types'! > I'm a song > > > > > > > > writer/musician and I have been greatly influenced by my > relationships > > > > > > > > in my music and writing. It seems when there is much turmoil > the music > > > > > > > > and lyrics flow. Vam is correct in saying that it's not > possible to > > > > > > > > succeed in turning our emotions off and truly that was never > my intent > > > > > > > > but as a defense mechanism I have learned to stuff them. It > proves to > > > > > > > > be detrimental in some ways, particularly in writing. I have > blocked > > > > > > > > much of my muse in trying to minimize the drama. Truth is > that life is > > > > > > > > just that, a set in which we all play out our own dramas. I > was once > > > > > > > > told by a woman I dated that I love drama and created it. I > perceived > > > > > > > > it as her projecting her own tendencies on me ut she may have > been > > > > > > > > correct to some extent. I did alot of writing around that > time! LOL! > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 5:15 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > A number of creator types stay single or have arrangements > that allow > > > > > > > > > for a good deal of freedom but that does not guarantee > inspiration in > > > > > > > > > and of itself. Often, creativity feeds just as well on > pressured > > > > > > > > > enviornments and committments.//I doubt most children feel > better off > > > > > > > > > without both parents but the notion of family has changed > greatly so > > > > > > > > > perhaps they adapt better these days. And a wretched > marriage is > > > > > > > > > wretched for all plus what is lonlier than a bad marriage? > Sometimes > > > > > > > > > it seems strange that I took to motherhood > considering...But > > > > > > > > > motherhood has also changed, hasn't it? > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 1:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > " I have turned my emotional switch to 0." > > > > > > > > > > > > We all do that. And can never succeed, because emotions > are another > > > > > > > > > > name of human experience. They are ours. > > > > > > > > > > > > Yes, some of us are better off without life partner > relationships. > > > > > > > > > > Mostly, for the sake of the other. Rarely, for oneself > ... for some > > > > > > > > > > higher priority we must pursue. > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 11:18 pm, DarkwaterBlight < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > Spiritual Crisis? Yes I believe you may be correct in > your > > > > > > > > > > > observation. I think I have developed a willful > ignorance or lack of > > > > > > > > > > > empathy when it comes to emotions. I have tried to > share my feelings > > > > > > > > > > > to no avail and have been left dissapointed and feeling > broken. So in > > > > > > > > > > > an attenpt to heal I have turned my emotional switch to > 0. I can see > > > > > > > > > > > my own spiritual crisis and do not wish to have the > responsibility of > > > > > > > > > > > someone elses 'baggage' as rigsy03 has pointed out. > After our > > > > > > > > > > > seperation I tryed again to no avail and yet I still > try to make that > > > > > > > > > > > connection and keep hitting the same brick wall. I know > the answer > > > > > > > > > > > lies within myself but I'm not sure if I want to know > it. I guess I > > > > > > > > > > > like living in the dillusion that I am fine being alone > in life. I > > > > > > > > > > > know that is never true as we all have each other but I > am refering to > > > > > > > > > > > a permanant mate and partner in life. It's too easy for > me to give up > > > > > > > > > > > on the idea rather than trying so hard and fighting to > keep a > > > > > > > > > > > relationship. I know too well that there are many fish > in the sea and > > > > > > > > > > > I love seafood. > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:54 pm, vamadevananda < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life > out of each > > > > > > > > > > > > other." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face > of your contrary > > > > > > > > > > > > experience, that it is possible for two people to > graduate to ' giving > > > > > > > > > > > > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' > enriching each other > > > > > > > > > > > > emotionally,' than draining ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you recall the movie sketching the life an > authoress, played by > > > > > > > > > > > > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose > disappointments and > > > > > > > > > > > > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise > with ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of > my marriage, that > > > > > > > > > > > > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early > on in our > > > > > > > > > > > > > realtionship, we were both poor and from > dysfunctional backrounds. We > > > > > > > > > > > > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 > years before > > > > > > > > > > > > > getting married. When we finally did get married, > she was 5 months > > > > > > > > > > > > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs > apart in age now and > > > > > > > > > > > > > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and > probably still are) in > > > > > > > > > > > > > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's > really hard to > > > > > > > > > > > > > explain. I know that she would have me back and I > would too but it > > > > > > > > > > > > > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical > explaination I can give > > > > > > > > > > > > > but I will never allow myself to feel that way > about another woman > > > > > > > > > > > > > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we > literally sucked > > > > > > > > > > > > > the life out of each other. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case > was one of fairy tale > > > > > > > > > > > > > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to > start with. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" > (in my humble opinion) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the > statement. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a > > > > ... > > > > read more ยป -- \--/ Peace
