I agree with that notion- I don't care much about someone hitting a
dog as an example of love and devotion. There's enough cruelty to
animals, women and children without dragging them into an example of
love. I also liked the thought that love is a verb, i.e. active.

On Jul 5, 11:17 am, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote:
> Wow! Sharing the same sense of humour is a great basis for a love
> relationship.
>
> On 5 Jul., 17:16, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > That, in fact, was the first analogy I had ever given about what love
> > is! My wife, before we were married, asked me if I knew what love is
> > and I replied; "Love is like a boy and his dog and even though the boy
> > may become angry and hit the dog, the dog will still come to him and
> > though the dog may bite the boy, he will still pet him and scratch him
> > behind the ears."
>
> > On Jul 5, 4:21 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > Between those two degrees there is a wiggle room of grays- some merely
> > > symbolic, some active and real while others. hesitant shadows. Few
> > > achieve the devotional stature of a dog :-)
>
> > > On Jul 2, 9:23 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > We are lucky and that is what I try to impress upon others... love is
> > > > a choice and not a feeling. Much different from infatuation and the
> > > > pink clouds where everything is fluffy and light. When making the
> > > > conscious choice to 'be in love' with someone (as if thats a choice)
> > > > we are choosing all the heavy baggage and BS as well. I don't think I
> > > > have ever chosen NOT to love anyone but I have selected the degrees of
> > > > love I wish to assert (ie. "No, you carry that!" or "Let me help you
> > > > with that"). Being 'in love' there are only two degrees; "I love you"
> > > > or "I hope you die" :D
>
> > > > On Jul 1, 8:34 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > I agree with you. Aren't we lucky to have that choice?
>
> > > > > On Jun 30, 3:16 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > Life sometimes plays out like a novel, different twists and turns.
> > > > > > Nothing like an ironic and tragic ending! At any time we may put the
> > > > > > book down and pick up a different one that's more agreeable and life
> > > > > > is such as well.
>
> > > > > > On Jun 29, 9:28 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > But thinking more about this- why were you attracted to these 
> > > > > > > women to
> > > > > > > begin with? Afterall, a label might just be a fable. It can be 
> > > > > > > like a
> > > > > > > "get out of jail" card, I suppose, but doesn't really solve much 
> > > > > > > for
> > > > > > > the supposedly "sane" partner.//I wrote lyric poetry for a while 
> > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > it had its own music without the notes- a percussion?//Keep the 
> > > > > > > faith,
> > > > > > > Darkwater! Lord- I was so enchanted and amazed to read a book the 
> > > > > > > last
> > > > > > > couple of days- at first. By the end I was shattered and probably
> > > > > > > won't read the others I've reserved at the library. Reminds me of
> > > > > > > love! :-)
>
> > > > > > > On Jun 29, 7:48 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> 
> > > > > > > wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > Sometimes, both music and words come to me like getting struck 
> > > > > > > > by
> > > > > > > > lightning. Wakes me up out of a sound sleep and I have to grab 
> > > > > > > > my
> > > > > > > > guitar and a pad and paper.. Other times I'll start with a tune 
> > > > > > > > and it
> > > > > > > > can take months or even years before I write the lyrics. If I 
> > > > > > > > write
> > > > > > > > lyrics, though, there is already a tune, in my head if not a 
> > > > > > > > comleted
> > > > > > > > composition. I think that out of all the women I have been 
> > > > > > > > with, there
> > > > > > > > might be one or two that had their stuff together but again, I 
> > > > > > > > was
> > > > > > > > just 'fun to play with' for a while. The rest, if not already
> > > > > > > > clinically diagnosed, they should be! The only long term
> > > > > > > > relationships I've had were with total nut bags. :P I can only 
> > > > > > > > claim
> > > > > > > > responsibilty for one of them though.
>
> > > > > > > > On Jun 29, 8:02 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > I used to liken it to the "Perils of Pauline" because I 
> > > > > > > > > seemed to
> > > > > > > > > escape like that old silent film drama. Now, I consider my 
> > > > > > > > > life as an
> > > > > > > > > interesting one- one I have tried to make sense of and I 
> > > > > > > > > think I
> > > > > > > > > succeeded in many ways- but I'll die anyway! :-) I think 
> > > > > > > > > everyday of
> > > > > > > > > those who have been caught up in war or sub-human conditions 
> > > > > > > > > and try
> > > > > > > > > to be grateful and humble. My troubles and turmoil are/were
> > > > > > > > > miniscule.//I tried to write lyrics for a composer friend but 
> > > > > > > > > found it
> > > > > > > > > hard to write to his competed music- I think it's easier to 
> > > > > > > > > shape the
> > > > > > > > > music to words- how about you?//I quit drinking nearly a year 
> > > > > > > > > ago and
> > > > > > > > > am much happier with life and others.
>
> > > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 8:07 am, DarkwaterBlight 
> > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > Interesting that you bring up the point of 'creator types'! 
> > > > > > > > > > I'm a song
> > > > > > > > > > writer/musician and I have been greatly influenced by my 
> > > > > > > > > > relationships
> > > > > > > > > > in my music and writing. It seems when there is much 
> > > > > > > > > > turmoil the music
> > > > > > > > > > and lyrics flow. Vam is correct in saying that it's not 
> > > > > > > > > > possible to
> > > > > > > > > > succeed in turning our emotions off and truly that was 
> > > > > > > > > > never my intent
> > > > > > > > > > but as a defense mechanism I have learned to stuff them. It 
> > > > > > > > > > proves to
> > > > > > > > > > be detrimental in some ways, particularly in writing. I 
> > > > > > > > > > have blocked
> > > > > > > > > > much of my muse in trying to minimize the drama. Truth is 
> > > > > > > > > > that life is
> > > > > > > > > > just that, a set in which we all play out our own dramas. I 
> > > > > > > > > > was once
> > > > > > > > > > told by a woman I dated that I love drama and created it. I 
> > > > > > > > > > perceived
> > > > > > > > > > it as her projecting her own tendencies on me ut she may 
> > > > > > > > > > have been
> > > > > > > > > > correct to some extent. I did alot of writing around that 
> > > > > > > > > > time! LOL!
>
> > > > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 5:15 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > > A number of creator types stay single or have 
> > > > > > > > > > > arrangements that allow
> > > > > > > > > > > for a good deal of freedom but that does not guarantee 
> > > > > > > > > > > inspiration in
> > > > > > > > > > > and of itself. Often, creativity feeds just as well on 
> > > > > > > > > > > pressured
> > > > > > > > > > > enviornments and committments.//I doubt most children 
> > > > > > > > > > > feel better off
> > > > > > > > > > > without both parents but the notion of family has changed 
> > > > > > > > > > > greatly so
> > > > > > > > > > > perhaps they adapt better these days. And a wretched 
> > > > > > > > > > > marriage is
> > > > > > > > > > > wretched for all plus what is lonlier than a bad 
> > > > > > > > > > > marriage? Sometimes
> > > > > > > > > > > it seems strange that I took to motherhood 
> > > > > > > > > > > considering...But
> > > > > > > > > > > motherhood has also changed, hasn't it?
>
> > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 1:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> 
> > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > " I have turned my emotional switch to 0."
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > We all do that. And can never succeed, because emotions 
> > > > > > > > > > > > are another
> > > > > > > > > > > > name of human experience. They are ours.
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > Yes, some of us are better off without life partner 
> > > > > > > > > > > > relationships.
> > > > > > > > > > > > Mostly, for the sake of the other. Rarely, for oneself 
> > > > > > > > > > > > ... for some
> > > > > > > > > > > > higher priority we must pursue.
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 11:18 pm, DarkwaterBlight 
> > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Spiritual Crisis? Yes I believe you may be correct in 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > observation. I think I have developed a willful 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > ignorance or lack of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > empathy when it comes to emotions. I have tried to 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > share my feelings
> > > > > > > > > > > > > to no avail and have been left dissapointed and 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > feeling broken. So in
> > > > > > > > > > > > > an attenpt to heal I have turned my emotional switch 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > to 0. I can see
> > > > > > > > > > > > > my own spiritual crisis and do not wish to have the 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > responsibility of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > someone elses 'baggage' as rigsy03 has pointed out. 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > After our
> > > > > > > > > > > > > seperation I tryed again to no avail and yet I still 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > try to make that
> > > > > > > > > > > > > connection and keep hitting the same brick wall. I 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > know the answer
> > > > > > > > > > > > > lies within myself but I'm not sure if I want to know 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > it. I guess I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > like living in the dillusion that I am fine being 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > alone in life. I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > know that is never true as we all have each other but 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I am refering to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > a permanant mate and partner in life. It's too easy 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > for me to give up
> > > > > > > > > > > > > on the idea rather than trying so hard and fighting 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > to keep a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > relationship. I know too well that there are many 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > fish in the sea and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I love seafood.
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:54 pm, vamadevananda 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > life out of each
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > other."
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >   Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > face of your contrary
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > experience, that it is possible for two people to 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > graduate to ' giving
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > enriching each other
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > emotionally,' than draining ?
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >   Do you recall the movie sketching the life an 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > authoress, played by
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > disappointments and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > empathise with !
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > my marriage, that
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > early on in our
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > realtionship, we were both poor and from 
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > dysfunctional backrounds. We
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > were very aware
>
> ...
>
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