But thinking more about this- why were you attracted to these women to begin with? Afterall, a label might just be a fable. It can be like a "get out of jail" card, I suppose, but doesn't really solve much for the supposedly "sane" partner.//I wrote lyric poetry for a while and it had its own music without the notes- a percussion?//Keep the faith, Darkwater! Lord- I was so enchanted and amazed to read a book the last couple of days- at first. By the end I was shattered and probably won't read the others I've reserved at the library. Reminds me of love! :-)
On Jun 29, 7:48 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > Sometimes, both music and words come to me like getting struck by > lightning. Wakes me up out of a sound sleep and I have to grab my > guitar and a pad and paper.. Other times I'll start with a tune and it > can take months or even years before I write the lyrics. If I write > lyrics, though, there is already a tune, in my head if not a comleted > composition. I think that out of all the women I have been with, there > might be one or two that had their stuff together but again, I was > just 'fun to play with' for a while. The rest, if not already > clinically diagnosed, they should be! The only long term > relationships I've had were with total nut bags. :P I can only claim > responsibilty for one of them though. > > On Jun 29, 8:02 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I used to liken it to the "Perils of Pauline" because I seemed to > > escape like that old silent film drama. Now, I consider my life as an > > interesting one- one I have tried to make sense of and I think I > > succeeded in many ways- but I'll die anyway! :-) I think everyday of > > those who have been caught up in war or sub-human conditions and try > > to be grateful and humble. My troubles and turmoil are/were > > miniscule.//I tried to write lyrics for a composer friend but found it > > hard to write to his competed music- I think it's easier to shape the > > music to words- how about you?//I quit drinking nearly a year ago and > > am much happier with life and others. > > > On Jun 28, 8:07 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Interesting that you bring up the point of 'creator types'! I'm a song > > > writer/musician and I have been greatly influenced by my relationships > > > in my music and writing. It seems when there is much turmoil the music > > > and lyrics flow. Vam is correct in saying that it's not possible to > > > succeed in turning our emotions off and truly that was never my intent > > > but as a defense mechanism I have learned to stuff them. It proves to > > > be detrimental in some ways, particularly in writing. I have blocked > > > much of my muse in trying to minimize the drama. Truth is that life is > > > just that, a set in which we all play out our own dramas. I was once > > > told by a woman I dated that I love drama and created it. I perceived > > > it as her projecting her own tendencies on me ut she may have been > > > correct to some extent. I did alot of writing around that time! LOL! > > > > On Jun 28, 5:15 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > A number of creator types stay single or have arrangements that allow > > > > for a good deal of freedom but that does not guarantee inspiration in > > > > and of itself. Often, creativity feeds just as well on pressured > > > > enviornments and committments.//I doubt most children feel better off > > > > without both parents but the notion of family has changed greatly so > > > > perhaps they adapt better these days. And a wretched marriage is > > > > wretched for all plus what is lonlier than a bad marriage? Sometimes > > > > it seems strange that I took to motherhood considering...But > > > > motherhood has also changed, hasn't it? > > > > > On Jun 27, 1:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > " I have turned my emotional switch to 0." > > > > > > We all do that. And can never succeed, because emotions are another > > > > > name of human experience. They are ours. > > > > > > Yes, some of us are better off without life partner relationships. > > > > > Mostly, for the sake of the other. Rarely, for oneself ... for some > > > > > higher priority we must pursue. > > > > > > On Jun 27, 11:18 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > Spiritual Crisis? Yes I believe you may be correct in your > > > > > > observation. I think I have developed a willful ignorance or lack of > > > > > > empathy when it comes to emotions. I have tried to share my feelings > > > > > > to no avail and have been left dissapointed and feeling broken. So > > > > > > in > > > > > > an attenpt to heal I have turned my emotional switch to 0. I can see > > > > > > my own spiritual crisis and do not wish to have the responsibility > > > > > > of > > > > > > someone elses 'baggage' as rigsy03 has pointed out. After our > > > > > > seperation I tryed again to no avail and yet I still try to make > > > > > > that > > > > > > connection and keep hitting the same brick wall. I know the answer > > > > > > lies within myself but I'm not sure if I want to know it. I guess I > > > > > > like living in the dillusion that I am fine being alone in life. I > > > > > > know that is never true as we all have each other but I am refering > > > > > > to > > > > > > a permanant mate and partner in life. It's too easy for me to give > > > > > > up > > > > > > on the idea rather than trying so hard and fighting to keep a > > > > > > relationship. I know too well that there are many fish in the sea > > > > > > and > > > > > > I love seafood. > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:54 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life out of each > > > > > > > other." > > > > > > > > Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face of your > > > > > > > contrary > > > > > > > experience, that it is possible for two people to graduate to ' > > > > > > > giving > > > > > > > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' enriching each > > > > > > > other > > > > > > > emotionally,' than draining ? > > > > > > > > Do you recall the movie sketching the life an authoress, played > > > > > > > by > > > > > > > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose disappointments > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise with ! > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my marriage, > > > > > > > > that > > > > > > > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early on in our > > > > > > > > realtionship, we were both poor and from dysfunctional > > > > > > > > backrounds. We > > > > > > > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 years before > > > > > > > > getting married. When we finally did get married, she was 5 > > > > > > > > months > > > > > > > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs apart in age > > > > > > > > now and > > > > > > > > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and probably still > > > > > > > > are) in > > > > > > > > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's really hard > > > > > > > > to > > > > > > > > explain. I know that she would have me back and I would too but > > > > > > > > it > > > > > > > > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical explaination I > > > > > > > > can give > > > > > > > > but I will never allow myself to feel that way about another > > > > > > > > woman > > > > > > > > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we literally > > > > > > > > sucked > > > > > > > > the life out of each other. > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case was one of > > > > > > > > > fairy tale > > > > > > > > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to start with. > > > > > > > > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc <[email protected]> > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" (in my humble > > > > > > > > > > opinion) > > > > > > > > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the statement. > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> > > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale." > > > > > > > > > > > > Wouldn't it be more accurate to state that of ' love,' as > > > > > > > > > > > you or Arch > > > > > > > > > > > understand or mean it ! ? It would be a great service to > > > > > > > > > > > let your > > > > > > > > > > > readers know that and, better still, to actually state > > > > > > > > > > > what you > > > > > > > > > > > understand or what your ' love ' means to you, as in what > > > > > > > > > > > it does to > > > > > > > > > > > you, how it affects you, what place it has in your > > > > > > > > > > > hierarchy of > > > > > > > > > > > values ? > > > > > > > > > > > > For instance, if you've fallen for the fairy tale kind of > > > > > > > > > > > love, you > > > > > > > > > > > will end up with disappointments appropriate to fairy > > > > > > > > > > > tale kind of > > > > > > > > > > > love ! > > > > > > > > > > > > And, this isn't semantics. > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 7:29 pm, DarkwaterBlight > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > I guess depending on how fast you want to travel it > > > > > > > > > > > > could be both! I' > > > > > > > > > > > > have been reluctant to reply to this thread but I do > > > > > > > > > > > > share some of > > > > > > > > > > > > your views PSK. Truth is that I have been married for > > > > > > > > > > > > close to 20 > > > > > > > > > > > > years now but I have not lived with my wife for clos to > > > > > > > > > > > > 5 years. We > > > > > > > > > > > > are both much happier than we were when we lived > > > > > > > > > > > > together. I have had > > > > > > > > > > > > a few long term relationships since and they were just > > > > > > > > > > > > too much for me > > > > > > > > > > > > personally. I have a GF now and she wants to pin me > > > > > > > > > > > > down, I feel > > > > > > > > > > > > smothered. We lived together for a while and I wound up > > > > > > > > > > > > excomunicating > > > > > > > > > > > > her from the solice of my abode. We are still > > > > > > > > > > > > 'together' but during > > > > > > > > > > > > the course of our 1 year relationship I have had (and > > > > > > > > > > > > still do have) a > > > > > > > > > > > > few different partners including her best friend who > > > > > > > > > > > > has shared our > > > > > > > > > > > > bed on different occasions. She want's monagamy until > > > > > > > > > > > > we GET MARRIED! > > > > > > > > > > > > Imagine that! I'm still married to the mother of my > > > > > > > > > > > > children and I > > > > > > > > > > > > don't see that changing. Polyamorous relationships ARE > > > > > > > > > > > > possible but it > > > > > > > > > > > > takes complete transparancy and a strong commitment to > > > > > > > > > > > > your > > > > > > > > > > > > 'significant' other. I, however transparent I may be, > > > > > > > > > > > > can only be > > > > > > > > > > > > commited to being a father and a good friend! I love > > > > > > > > > > > > her and all of > > > > > > > > > > > > the women who I have 'known' equally. The love that > > > > > > > > > > > > some women require > > > > > > > > > > > > I cannot and will not provide. Too emotional and > > > > > > > > > > > > without logic! Imho, > > > > > > > > > > > > being 'in > > ... > > read more »- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text -
