We are lucky and that is what I try to impress upon others... love is a choice and not a feeling. Much different from infatuation and the pink clouds where everything is fluffy and light. When making the conscious choice to 'be in love' with someone (as if thats a choice) we are choosing all the heavy baggage and BS as well. I don't think I have ever chosen NOT to love anyone but I have selected the degrees of love I wish to assert (ie. "No, you carry that!" or "Let me help you with that"). Being 'in love' there are only two degrees; "I love you" or "I hope you die" :D
On Jul 1, 8:34 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > I agree with you. Aren't we lucky to have that choice? > > On Jun 30, 3:16 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > Life sometimes plays out like a novel, different twists and turns. > > Nothing like an ironic and tragic ending! At any time we may put the > > book down and pick up a different one that's more agreeable and life > > is such as well. > > > On Jun 29, 9:28 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > But thinking more about this- why were you attracted to these women to > > > begin with? Afterall, a label might just be a fable. It can be like a > > > "get out of jail" card, I suppose, but doesn't really solve much for > > > the supposedly "sane" partner.//I wrote lyric poetry for a while and > > > it had its own music without the notes- a percussion?//Keep the faith, > > > Darkwater! Lord- I was so enchanted and amazed to read a book the last > > > couple of days- at first. By the end I was shattered and probably > > > won't read the others I've reserved at the library. Reminds me of > > > love! :-) > > > > On Jun 29, 7:48 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > Sometimes, both music and words come to me like getting struck by > > > > lightning. Wakes me up out of a sound sleep and I have to grab my > > > > guitar and a pad and paper.. Other times I'll start with a tune and it > > > > can take months or even years before I write the lyrics. If I write > > > > lyrics, though, there is already a tune, in my head if not a comleted > > > > composition. I think that out of all the women I have been with, there > > > > might be one or two that had their stuff together but again, I was > > > > just 'fun to play with' for a while. The rest, if not already > > > > clinically diagnosed, they should be! The only long term > > > > relationships I've had were with total nut bags. :P I can only claim > > > > responsibilty for one of them though. > > > > > On Jun 29, 8:02 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > I used to liken it to the "Perils of Pauline" because I seemed to > > > > > escape like that old silent film drama. Now, I consider my life as an > > > > > interesting one- one I have tried to make sense of and I think I > > > > > succeeded in many ways- but I'll die anyway! :-) I think everyday of > > > > > those who have been caught up in war or sub-human conditions and try > > > > > to be grateful and humble. My troubles and turmoil are/were > > > > > miniscule.//I tried to write lyrics for a composer friend but found it > > > > > hard to write to his competed music- I think it's easier to shape the > > > > > music to words- how about you?//I quit drinking nearly a year ago and > > > > > am much happier with life and others. > > > > > > On Jun 28, 8:07 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > Interesting that you bring up the point of 'creator types'! I'm a > > > > > > song > > > > > > writer/musician and I have been greatly influenced by my > > > > > > relationships > > > > > > in my music and writing. It seems when there is much turmoil the > > > > > > music > > > > > > and lyrics flow. Vam is correct in saying that it's not possible to > > > > > > succeed in turning our emotions off and truly that was never my > > > > > > intent > > > > > > but as a defense mechanism I have learned to stuff them. It proves > > > > > > to > > > > > > be detrimental in some ways, particularly in writing. I have blocked > > > > > > much of my muse in trying to minimize the drama. Truth is that life > > > > > > is > > > > > > just that, a set in which we all play out our own dramas. I was once > > > > > > told by a woman I dated that I love drama and created it. I > > > > > > perceived > > > > > > it as her projecting her own tendencies on me ut she may have been > > > > > > correct to some extent. I did alot of writing around that time! LOL! > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 5:15 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > A number of creator types stay single or have arrangements that > > > > > > > allow > > > > > > > for a good deal of freedom but that does not guarantee > > > > > > > inspiration in > > > > > > > and of itself. Often, creativity feeds just as well on pressured > > > > > > > enviornments and committments.//I doubt most children feel better > > > > > > > off > > > > > > > without both parents but the notion of family has changed greatly > > > > > > > so > > > > > > > perhaps they adapt better these days. And a wretched marriage is > > > > > > > wretched for all plus what is lonlier than a bad marriage? > > > > > > > Sometimes > > > > > > > it seems strange that I took to motherhood considering...But > > > > > > > motherhood has also changed, hasn't it? > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 1:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > " I have turned my emotional switch to 0." > > > > > > > > > We all do that. And can never succeed, because emotions are > > > > > > > > another > > > > > > > > name of human experience. They are ours. > > > > > > > > > Yes, some of us are better off without life partner > > > > > > > > relationships. > > > > > > > > Mostly, for the sake of the other. Rarely, for oneself ... for > > > > > > > > some > > > > > > > > higher priority we must pursue. > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 11:18 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > Spiritual Crisis? Yes I believe you may be correct in your > > > > > > > > > observation. I think I have developed a willful ignorance or > > > > > > > > > lack of > > > > > > > > > empathy when it comes to emotions. I have tried to share my > > > > > > > > > feelings > > > > > > > > > to no avail and have been left dissapointed and feeling > > > > > > > > > broken. So in > > > > > > > > > an attenpt to heal I have turned my emotional switch to 0. I > > > > > > > > > can see > > > > > > > > > my own spiritual crisis and do not wish to have the > > > > > > > > > responsibility of > > > > > > > > > someone elses 'baggage' as rigsy03 has pointed out. After our > > > > > > > > > seperation I tryed again to no avail and yet I still try to > > > > > > > > > make that > > > > > > > > > connection and keep hitting the same brick wall. I know the > > > > > > > > > answer > > > > > > > > > lies within myself but I'm not sure if I want to know it. I > > > > > > > > > guess I > > > > > > > > > like living in the dillusion that I am fine being alone in > > > > > > > > > life. I > > > > > > > > > know that is never true as we all have each other but I am > > > > > > > > > refering to > > > > > > > > > a permanant mate and partner in life. It's too easy for me to > > > > > > > > > give up > > > > > > > > > on the idea rather than trying so hard and fighting to keep a > > > > > > > > > relationship. I know too well that there are many fish in the > > > > > > > > > sea and > > > > > > > > > I love seafood. > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:54 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life out of > > > > > > > > > > each > > > > > > > > > > other." > > > > > > > > > > > Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face of > > > > > > > > > > your contrary > > > > > > > > > > experience, that it is possible for two people to graduate > > > > > > > > > > to ' giving > > > > > > > > > > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' enriching > > > > > > > > > > each other > > > > > > > > > > emotionally,' than draining ? > > > > > > > > > > > Do you recall the movie sketching the life an authoress, > > > > > > > > > > played by > > > > > > > > > > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose > > > > > > > > > > disappointments and > > > > > > > > > > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise with ! > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my > > > > > > > > > > > marriage, that > > > > > > > > > > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early on in > > > > > > > > > > > our > > > > > > > > > > > realtionship, we were both poor and from dysfunctional > > > > > > > > > > > backrounds. We > > > > > > > > > > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 years > > > > > > > > > > > before > > > > > > > > > > > getting married. When we finally did get married, she was > > > > > > > > > > > 5 months > > > > > > > > > > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs apart > > > > > > > > > > > in age now and > > > > > > > > > > > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and probably > > > > > > > > > > > still are) in > > > > > > > > > > > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's really > > > > > > > > > > > hard to > > > > > > > > > > > explain. I know that she would have me back and I would > > > > > > > > > > > too but it > > > > > > > > > > > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical > > > > > > > > > > > explaination I can give > > > > > > > > > > > but I will never allow myself to feel that way about > > > > > > > > > > > another woman > > > > > > > > > > > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we > > > > > > > > > > > literally sucked > > > > > > > > > > > the life out of each other. > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari <[email protected]> > > > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case was > > > > > > > > > > > > one of fairy tale > > > > > > > > > > > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to start > > > > > > > > > > > > with. > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc > > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" (in my > > > > > > > > > > > > > humble opinion) > > > > > > > > > > > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the statement. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda > > > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > tale." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Wouldn't it be more accurate to state that of ' > > > > > > > > > > > > > > love,' as you or Arch > > > > > > > > > > > > > > understand or mean it ! ? It would be a great > > > > > > > > > > > > > > service to let your > > > > > > > > > > > > > > readers know that and, better still, to actually > > > > > > > > > > > > > > state what you > > > > > > > > > > > > > > understand or what your ' love ' means to you, as > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in what it does to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you, how it affects you, what place it has in your > > > > > > > > > > > > > > hierarchy of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > values ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > For instance, if you've fallen for the fairy tale > > > > > > > > > > > > > > kind of love, you > > > > > > > > > > > > > > will end up with disappointments appropriate to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > fairy tale kind of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > love ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > And, this isn't semantics. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 7:29 pm, DarkwaterBlight > > ... > > read more »- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text -
