Truth is Vam, here in the western world the act of love is mostly weighed out by others as if there is other motive behind the act beyond goodness and caring. Love has been reduced to a feeling that is base and somwhat ugly IMHO. It actually sickens me sometimes to hear others talk of love as such. An example is that if two people are 'in love' they belong to each other as if some possesion and it requires a set of 'rules' which are un-written or clearly defined. The term has been distorted beyond recognition to the point that if someone experiences 'true love' they hardly realize it until it's too late!
> No wonder, it is said love is everything ! In practice, love as it is > isn't something one would think about much or often ( in eastern > traditions ), except perhaps during periods of separation or loss. As > a relationship, it just continues to give strength and meaning to > oneself and one's life, unobtrusively and inscrutably. As an emotion, > in the internal environment appropriate to our higher nature, it fills > one's vitality and life - force with harmony and brings peace to our > psychic world. These are monumental developments in an individual's > being ... in the cause of calmness of mind, sound intellectuation and > true knowledge of oneself. > > Perhaps ? same sex relationships are more a matter of feeling than > commitment. > > On Jul 2, 7:23 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > We are lucky and that is what I try to impress upon others... love is > > a choice and not a feeling. Much different from infatuation and the > > pink clouds where everything is fluffy and light. When making the > > conscious choice to 'be in love' with someone (as if thats a choice) > > we are choosing all the heavy baggage and BS as well. I don't think I > > have ever chosen NOT to love anyone but I have selected the degrees of > > love I wish to assert (ie. "No, you carry that!" or "Let me help you > > with that"). Being 'in love' there are only two degrees; "I love you" > > or "I hope you die" :D > > > On Jul 1, 8:34 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > I agree with you. Aren't we lucky to have that choice? > > > > On Jun 30, 3:16 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > Life sometimes plays out like a novel, different twists and turns. > > > > Nothing like an ironic and tragic ending! At any time we may put the > > > > book down and pick up a different one that's more agreeable and life > > > > is such as well. > > > > > On Jun 29, 9:28 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > But thinking more about this- why were you attracted to these women to > > > > > begin with? Afterall, a label might just be a fable. It can be like a > > > > > "get out of jail" card, I suppose, but doesn't really solve much for > > > > > the supposedly "sane" partner.//I wrote lyric poetry for a while and > > > > > it had its own music without the notes- a percussion?//Keep the faith, > > > > > Darkwater! Lord- I was so enchanted and amazed to read a book the last > > > > > couple of days- at first. By the end I was shattered and probably > > > > > won't read the others I've reserved at the library. Reminds me of > > > > > love! :-) > > > > > > On Jun 29, 7:48 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > Sometimes, both music and words come to me like getting struck by > > > > > > lightning. Wakes me up out of a sound sleep and I have to grab my > > > > > > guitar and a pad and paper.. Other times I'll start with a tune and > > > > > > it > > > > > > can take months or even years before I write the lyrics. If I write > > > > > > lyrics, though, there is already a tune, in my head if not a > > > > > > comleted > > > > > > composition. I think that out of all the women I have been with, > > > > > > there > > > > > > might be one or two that had their stuff together but again, I was > > > > > > just 'fun to play with' for a while. The rest, if not already > > > > > > clinically diagnosed, they should be! The only long term > > > > > > relationships I've had were with total nut bags. :P I can only claim > > > > > > responsibilty for one of them though. > > > > > > > On Jun 29, 8:02 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > I used to liken it to the "Perils of Pauline" because I seemed to > > > > > > > escape like that old silent film drama. Now, I consider my life > > > > > > > as an > > > > > > > interesting one- one I have tried to make sense of and I think I > > > > > > > succeeded in many ways- but I'll die anyway! :-) I think everyday > > > > > > > of > > > > > > > those who have been caught up in war or sub-human conditions and > > > > > > > try > > > > > > > to be grateful and humble. My troubles and turmoil are/were > > > > > > > miniscule.//I tried to write lyrics for a composer friend but > > > > > > > found it > > > > > > > hard to write to his competed music- I think it's easier to shape > > > > > > > the > > > > > > > music to words- how about you?//I quit drinking nearly a year ago > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > am much happier with life and others. > > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 8:07 am, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Interesting that you bring up the point of 'creator types'! I'm > > > > > > > > a song > > > > > > > > writer/musician and I have been greatly influenced by my > > > > > > > > relationships > > > > > > > > in my music and writing. It seems when there is much turmoil > > > > > > > > the music > > > > > > > > and lyrics flow. Vam is correct in saying that it's not > > > > > > > > possible to > > > > > > > > succeed in turning our emotions off and truly that was never my > > > > > > > > intent > > > > > > > > but as a defense mechanism I have learned to stuff them. It > > > > > > > > proves to > > > > > > > > be detrimental in some ways, particularly in writing. I have > > > > > > > > blocked > > > > > > > > much of my muse in trying to minimize the drama. Truth is that > > > > > > > > life is > > > > > > > > just that, a set in which we all play out our own dramas. I was > > > > > > > > once > > > > > > > > told by a woman I dated that I love drama and created it. I > > > > > > > > perceived > > > > > > > > it as her projecting her own tendencies on me ut she may have > > > > > > > > been > > > > > > > > correct to some extent. I did alot of writing around that time! > > > > > > > > LOL! > > > > > > > > > On Jun 28, 5:15 am, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > A number of creator types stay single or have arrangements > > > > > > > > > that allow > > > > > > > > > for a good deal of freedom but that does not guarantee > > > > > > > > > inspiration in > > > > > > > > > and of itself. Often, creativity feeds just as well on > > > > > > > > > pressured > > > > > > > > > enviornments and committments.//I doubt most children feel > > > > > > > > > better off > > > > > > > > > without both parents but the notion of family has changed > > > > > > > > > greatly so > > > > > > > > > perhaps they adapt better these days. And a wretched marriage > > > > > > > > > is > > > > > > > > > wretched for all plus what is lonlier than a bad marriage? > > > > > > > > > Sometimes > > > > > > > > > it seems strange that I took to motherhood considering...But > > > > > > > > > motherhood has also changed, hasn't it? > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 1:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > " I have turned my emotional switch to 0." > > > > > > > > > > > We all do that. And can never succeed, because emotions are > > > > > > > > > > another > > > > > > > > > > name of human experience. They are ours. > > > > > > > > > > > Yes, some of us are better off without life partner > > > > > > > > > > relationships. > > > > > > > > > > Mostly, for the sake of the other. Rarely, for oneself ... > > > > > > > > > > for some > > > > > > > > > > higher priority we must pursue. > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 27, 11:18 pm, DarkwaterBlight > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Spiritual Crisis? Yes I believe you may be correct in your > > > > > > > > > > > observation. I think I have developed a willful ignorance > > > > > > > > > > > or lack of > > > > > > > > > > > empathy when it comes to emotions. I have tried to share > > > > > > > > > > > my feelings > > > > > > > > > > > to no avail and have been left dissapointed and feeling > > > > > > > > > > > broken. So in > > > > > > > > > > > an attenpt to heal I have turned my emotional switch to > > > > > > > > > > > 0. I can see > > > > > > > > > > > my own spiritual crisis and do not wish to have the > > > > > > > > > > > responsibility of > > > > > > > > > > > someone elses 'baggage' as rigsy03 has pointed out. After > > > > > > > > > > > our > > > > > > > > > > > seperation I tryed again to no avail and yet I still try > > > > > > > > > > > to make that > > > > > > > > > > > connection and keep hitting the same brick wall. I know > > > > > > > > > > > the answer > > > > > > > > > > > lies within myself but I'm not sure if I want to know it. > > > > > > > > > > > I guess I > > > > > > > > > > > like living in the dillusion that I am fine being alone > > > > > > > > > > > in life. I > > > > > > > > > > > know that is never true as we all have each other but I > > > > > > > > > > > am refering to > > > > > > > > > > > a permanant mate and partner in life. It's too easy for > > > > > > > > > > > me to give up > > > > > > > > > > > on the idea rather than trying so hard and fighting to > > > > > > > > > > > keep a > > > > > > > > > > > relationship. I know too well that there are many fish in > > > > > > > > > > > the sea and > > > > > > > > > > > I love seafood. > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 12:54 pm, vamadevananda > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life > > > > > > > > > > > > out of each > > > > > > > > > > > > other." > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face > > > > > > > > > > > > of your contrary > > > > > > > > > > > > experience, that it is possible for two people to > > > > > > > > > > > > graduate to ' giving > > > > > > > > > > > > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' > > > > > > > > > > > > enriching each other > > > > > > > > > > > > emotionally,' than draining ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you recall the movie sketching the life an > > > > > > > > > > > > authoress, played by > > > > > > > > > > > > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose > > > > > > > > > > > > disappointments and > > > > > > > > > > > > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise > > > > > > > > > > > > with ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight > > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my > > > > > > > > > > > > > marriage, that > > > > > > > > > > > > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early > > > > > > > > > > > > > on in our > > > > > > > > > > > > > realtionship, we were both poor and from > > > > > > > > > > > > > dysfunctional backrounds. We > > > > > > > > > > > > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 > > > > > > > > > > > > > years before > > > > > > > > > > > > > getting married. When we finally did get married, she > > > > > > > > > > > > > was 5 months > > > > > > > > > > > > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 > > ... > > read more »- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text -
