My last semester was rough, my older son is full of energy and mom had
to take a break. The first six months are pretty much blank, some people
called it a "colic" but for the longest time I just remember holding him
all night humming and rocking, up every two hours all night for a bottle
or comforting, then 'have to be to work in an hour' and get up from
sitting position on the couch, set him in the carseat and throw on
something lacking the wet spot in the lap (every night). The mind goes
to a different place when enduring, but despite being very passive and
thinking way too much I'm hardheaded as hell so all I said was, "Give it
time sweety, please don't make me choose, I'll do whatever it takes."
After a look at the therapy forum open on our other computer I decided
there were many things I just can't say. It's best to acknowledge my
failures with a measure of dignity. Perhaps I'm at an advantage having
no idea what it means to be a man. It has taken some time in study to
connect categorically with the species, and it has taken a bit more than
science, sociology, and psychology has offered.
Rigsy I hope you don't take my glacial speed personally, there's way too
much to sort out on this end. At least that is the safer 'stoic'
appearance to show. Which 'right reason'? From what I've seen it only
exists in territorial dominance (or hermetic orders :p ). Not sure what
type of contribution to the study this is Archy, but here it is.
On 12/6/2012 11:58 AM, archytas wrote:
One possible resolution is to change our ideas on childcare. I'm not
sure the focus has to be so much in the home. From the point of view
of women and men wanting to have kids and look after them the system
has lots of roadblocks - not least childcare and the times it is
available (and cost). The big snag with creating decent lifestyles is
one needs radical change and it's no use waiting for socialist utopia
or robot heaven - which would be chimera anyway.
Most of my students with young kids found it hard to start lectures at
9 a.m. or attend in the evening or the afternoon after 3 p.m. At the
same time we had staff in the same position very good at slotting
their timetables between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. The provision of
childcare was always 'under review' rather than a reality. The
obvious answer is to get more flexibility and childcare in schools
throughout the year. This is a non-starter in 'business reality'.
On 6 Dec, 13:06, rigs<[email protected]> wrote:
Which leads to over-compensation and a new prejudice often/sometimes.
My maternal history spanned biblicals but somehow I was able to be
mostly a stay-at-home mom which even the children were grateful for
and I hope to revive some of those skills with my grand-daughters as
change is on the way. I have truly missed family this last dozen
years. But I do see the additional stress on young women trying to
juggle all those "hats"- I even felt jealous of men dashing off to
their office when I had toddlers plus business on my mind.
On Dec 6, 4:24 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote:
My own feeling on the work side of equality is we have to do too much
of it and that there is, in fact, plenty of time in a 40 year work
span for ten years off to deal with early child carrying and nurture
(or alternatives). We are trying to establish equality in an already
misunderstood and warped system.
On 5 Dec, 00:39, rigs<[email protected]> wrote:
Actually, where I am going to is economics and job creation since
women are now equal in western countries and have embraced working
outside the home or must be a co-bread-winner due to the cost of
living. Plus all must compete with the machine and technology or
competitive foreign labor. There are dozens of side issues such as
longer life spans, over-population, impact of financial and government
mismanagement, etc.//I tend to view the two sexes as a reader/failed
writer- as types through history and am not very sentimental though
culture continues to send mixed messages even currently.//It's lovely
that you had such a positive experience with your own family despite
Tolstoy thinking happy families were all alike and possibly not
interesting to him as a writer. I think them fortunate although I
suppose there is a sense of quest and heroic attempts for those less
blessed that warms the soul.//Frankly, the Duchess is reminding me of
how ill I was with my first pregnancy with no tlc or hospital- finally
my mother-in-law had to take charge. Also another thing- my kind
neighbor laughing he was glad he wasn't a woman after his daughter-in
law's very difficult/dangerous labor (over 2 days) and delivery. Don't
worry- I bit my tongue.
On Dec 4, 4:11 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote:
My Mum and elder sister were pretty strong characters and it never
really crossed my mind to treat anyone with other than the respect I
felt for them. I see where you re coming from rigs. The repression
is ongoing in some minds and reality around the world. We are just
changing our gender bias in 'heir to the throne rankings' so that
female children get equal place. Quite why we haven't worked out the
real issue has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with
throwing out the Royals I don't know. If the gender-free inheritance
rules had pertained 100 years before WW1 the British King in 1914
would have been - er - Kaiser Wilhelm!
There clearly are women's issues (men's, gays etc.) - and I doubt they
can or should be exclusively derived 'within gender' or sub-classes -
though this doesn't preclude groups talking the stuff through on such
a basis. I tend to think there has been progress, but I'm not sure
how this has come about, if it has.
On 4 Dec, 04:01, rigs<[email protected]> wrote:
Thanks.// I think your reaction can be traced back to the time when
men were considered the main/only source of security so women were
more likely to protect that; it really is more complicated, however.
Earlier homesteading and farming offered a different balance- a very
important role for the female that gave her a natural or necessary
equality. But younger couples are working on a balance, as I see it.//
Was going to bring Hesiod into the mix as he set out a horrid
description of females in the "Theogeny" (IX, 507-616), written in 8
B.C.. I vaguely remember the professor saying he probably was an ugly
farmer who was spurned by women so he took his revenge. But given the
date, it is close to the Eden story. Another work came to mind written
in the 1950's that I have poked around- "America As A Civilization" by
Max Lerner- particularly Chapter VIII/Section 6- "The Ordeal of the
American Woman" which captures some of what I was looking for in way
of explanation for my parent's generation. I think he captured it- for
a man. :-)
On Dec 3, 8:34 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote:
Your new account is off moderation rigsy. I've always been struck
that women talking and acting for themselves are not reflected in the
literature and that some of the characters most dangerous to equal
opportunity are female.
On 2 Dec, 06:27, rigs<[email protected]> wrote:
On Saturday, December 1, 2012 10:30:37 AM UTC-6, archytas wrote:
The Body Class and Work Disability Discrimination Equality of Opportunity
Identity Politics Multiculturalism Objectification Parenthood and Procreation
Power Race Rape Reproduction and the Family Science The Self Sex and Gender Sex
Markets Trans Issues These are just some of the topics I thought I could put
forward in teaching gender issues in management. They underlie the bland
politically correct policy matters. One thing has always occurred to me as
missing in every debate I can remember. Women are as bad as men as managers. I
equate equality with hospitality (always two-sided at least) and suspect we
don't realise behaviour is much less to do with gender or the individual than
we think and perhaps has little to do with rationality. I don't think we see
the wood for the trees on gender.
How unlike anything EVER mentioned to me as a girl or young woman. I suppose we
depended on family tradition, religion and etiquette as we were groomed for
marriage via mystery, motherhood and homemaking. Groomed, indeed!- Hide quoted
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