When it comes to life one thing I am sure o is This to shall pass.. some times are just harder than other times. Allan
On Thu, Dec 13, 2012 at 1:30 AM, Molly <[email protected]> wrote: > Having suffered a whopping case of PTSD during my divorce, I do understand. > Not at all like living through the baby's colic, because justification was > not an issue. The baby came first, his comfort and care - not knowing what > that entailed, really, at the level of the unseen, just knowing that there > was more than meets the eye involved. > > Suffering through the abuse of another is a warriors task. The opportunity > to stand and come through the experience with integrity in tact. It is what > it is. Life. > > > On Wednesday, December 12, 2012 8:51:53 AM UTC-5, archytas wrote: >> >> Remarkable what extent even abuse such as persistent shouting can >> deform minds Molly. Our dog is a beast of peace. I wouldn't ask >> obedience from him beyond keeping him safe. We used to demand such >> from women. I wonder how this was resisted to the point no reasonable >> man should expect it? And how we might learn more resistance to other >> social-cultural inequality and the poor state of universal suffrage? >> >> On Dec 12, 12:18 pm, Molly <[email protected]> wrote: >> > My youngest had colic for more than six less than seven months, and I >> > remember it well. He also came out full of energy and would run in >> > circles >> > around a room for the longest time. I filled it full of balloons once >> > and >> > he loved it, but was chastised by the doctor who was afraid he might >> > break >> > one and inhale it. We do what we must to keep the joy in difficult >> > experience. I can tell you that now my 25 year old youngest son is a >> > calm, >> > wonderful, loving person who knows how to support the people he loves, >> > inequality >> > having felt so in his younger years. >> > >> > Sounds to me like you have the stuff of a wonderful dad, Ash. Life gives >> > us >> > experiences we cannot think our way through to teach us that the mind is >> > not always necessary, and we are often the better for moving beyond it. >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > On Sunday, December 9, 2012 11:31:11 PM UTC-5, Ash wrote: >> > >> > > My last semester was rough, my older son is full of energy and mom had >> > > to take a break. The first six months are pretty much blank, some >> > > people >> > > called it a "colic" but for the longest time I just remember holding >> > > him >> > > all night humming and rocking, up every two hours all night for a >> > > bottle >> > > or comforting, then 'have to be to work in an hour' and get up from >> > > sitting position on the couch, set him in the carseat and throw on >> > > something lacking the wet spot in the lap (every night). The mind goes >> > > to a different place when enduring, but despite being very passive and >> > > thinking way too much I'm hardheaded as hell so all I said was, "Give >> > > it >> > > time sweety, please don't make me choose, I'll do whatever it takes." >> > >> > > After a look at the therapy forum open on our other computer I decided >> > > there were many things I just can't say. It's best to acknowledge my >> > > failures with a measure of dignity. Perhaps I'm at an advantage having >> > > no idea what it means to be a man. It has taken some time in study to >> > > connect categorically with the species, and it has taken a bit more >> > > than >> > > science, sociology, and psychology has offered. >> > >> > > Rigsy I hope you don't take my glacial speed personally, there's way >> > > too >> > > much to sort out on this end. At least that is the safer 'stoic' >> > > appearance to show. Which 'right reason'? From what I've seen it only >> > > exists in territorial dominance (or hermetic orders :p ). Not sure >> > > what >> > > type of contribution to the study this is Archy, but here it is. >> > >> > > On 12/6/2012 11:58 AM, archytas wrote: >> > > > One possible resolution is to change our ideas on childcare. I'm >> > > > not >> > > > sure the focus has to be so much in the home. From the point of >> > > > view >> > > > of women and men wanting to have kids and look after them the system >> > > > has lots of roadblocks - not least childcare and the times it is >> > > > available (and cost). The big snag with creating decent lifestyles >> > > > is >> > > > one needs radical change and it's no use waiting for socialist >> > > > utopia >> > > > or robot heaven - which would be chimera anyway. >> > > > Most of my students with young kids found it hard to start lectures >> > > > at >> > > > 9 a.m. or attend in the evening or the afternoon after 3 p.m. At >> > > > the >> > > > same time we had staff in the same position very good at slotting >> > > > their timetables between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. The provision of >> > > > childcare was always 'under review' rather than a reality. The >> > > > obvious answer is to get more flexibility and childcare in schools >> > > > throughout the year. This is a non-starter in 'business reality'. >> > >> > > > On 6 Dec, 13:06, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: >> > > >> Which leads to over-compensation and a new prejudice >> > > >> often/sometimes. >> > > >> My maternal history spanned biblicals but somehow I was able to be >> > > >> mostly a stay-at-home mom which even the children were grateful for >> > > >> and I hope to revive some of those skills with my grand-daughters >> > > >> as >> > > >> change is on the way. I have truly missed family this last dozen >> > > >> years. But I do see the additional stress on young women trying to >> > > >> juggle all those "hats"- I even felt jealous of men dashing off to >> > > >> their office when I had toddlers plus business on my mind. >> > >> > > >> On Dec 6, 4:24 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> > > >>> My own feeling on the work side of equality is we have to do too >> > > >>> much >> > > >>> of it and that there is, in fact, plenty of time in a 40 year work >> > > >>> span for ten years off to deal with early child carrying and >> > > >>> nurture >> > > >>> (or alternatives). We are trying to establish equality in an >> > > >>> already >> > > >>> misunderstood and warped system. >> > >> > > >>> On 5 Dec, 00:39, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> > > >>>> Actually, where I am going to is economics and job creation since >> > > >>>> women are now equal in western countries and have embraced >> > > >>>> working >> > > >>>> outside the home or must be a co-bread-winner due to the cost of >> > > >>>> living. Plus all must compete with the machine and technology or >> > > >>>> competitive foreign labor. There are dozens of side issues such >> > > >>>> as >> > > >>>> longer life spans, over-population, impact of financial and >> > > government >> > > >>>> mismanagement, etc.//I tend to view the two sexes as a >> > > >>>> reader/failed >> > > >>>> writer- as types through history and am not very sentimental >> > > >>>> though >> > > >>>> culture continues to send mixed messages even currently.//It's >> > > >>>> lovely >> > > >>>> that you had such a positive experience with your own family >> > > >>>> despite >> > > >>>> Tolstoy thinking happy families were all alike and possibly not >> > > >>>> interesting to him as a writer. I think them fortunate although I >> > > >>>> suppose there is a sense of quest and heroic attempts for those >> > > >>>> less >> > > >>>> blessed that warms the soul.//Frankly, the Duchess is reminding >> > > >>>> me of >> > > >>>> how ill I was with my first pregnancy with no tlc or hospital- >> > > finally >> > > >>>> my mother-in-law had to take charge. Also another thing- my kind >> > > >>>> neighbor laughing he was glad he wasn't a woman after his >> > > >>>> daughter-in >> > > >>>> law's very difficult/dangerous labor (over 2 days) and delivery. >> > > Don't >> > > >>>> worry- I bit my tongue. >> > >> > > >>>> On Dec 4, 4:11 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> > > >>>>> My Mum and elder sister were pretty strong characters and it >> > > >>>>> never >> > > >>>>> really crossed my mind to treat anyone with other than the >> > > >>>>> respect I >> > > >>>>> felt for them. I see where you re coming from rigs. The >> > > >>>>> repression >> > > >>>>> is ongoing in some minds and reality around the world. We are >> > > >>>>> just >> > > >>>>> changing our gender bias in 'heir to the throne rankings' so >> > > >>>>> that >> > > >>>>> female children get equal place. Quite why we haven't worked >> > > >>>>> out >> > > the >> > > >>>>> real issue has nothing to do with gender and everything to do >> > > >>>>> with >> > > >>>>> throwing out the Royals I don't know. If the gender-free >> > > inheritance >> > > >>>>> rules had pertained 100 years before WW1 the British King in >> > > >>>>> 1914 >> > > >>>>> would have been - er - Kaiser Wilhelm! >> > > >>>>> There clearly are women's issues (men's, gays etc.) - and I >> > > >>>>> doubt >> > > they >> > > >>>>> can or should be exclusively derived 'within gender' or >> > > >>>>> sub-classes >> > > - >> > > >>>>> though this doesn't preclude groups talking the stuff through on >> > > such >> > > >>>>> a basis. I tend to think there has been progress, but I'm not >> > > >>>>> sure >> > > >>>>> how this has come about, if it has. >> > >> > > >>>>> On 4 Dec, 04:01, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> > > >>>>>> Thanks.// I think your reaction can be traced back to the time >> > > >>>>>> when >> > > >>>>>> men were considered the main/only source of security so women >> > > >>>>>> were >> > > >>>>>> more likely to protect that; it really is more complicated, >> > > however. >> > > >>>>>> Earlier homesteading and farming offered a different balance- a >> > > very >> > > >>>>>> important role for the female that gave her a natural or >> > > >>>>>> necessary >> > > >>>>>> equality. But younger couples are working on a balance, as I >> > > >>>>>> see >> > > it.// >> > > >>>>>> Was going to bring Hesiod into the mix as he set out a horrid >> > > >>>>>> description of females in the "Theogeny" (IX, 507-616), written >> > > >>>>>> in >> > > 8 >> > > >>>>>> B.C.. I vaguely remember the professor saying he probably was >> > > >>>>>> an >> > > ugly >> > > >>>>>> farmer who was spurned by women so he took his revenge. But >> > > >>>>>> given >> > > the >> > > >>>>>> date, it is close to the Eden story. Another work came to mind >> > > written >> > > >>>>>> in the 1950's that I have poked around- "America As A >> > > >>>>>> Civilization" >> > > by >> > > >>>>>> Max Lerner- particularly Chapter VIII/Section 6- "The Ordeal of >> > > >>>>>> the >> > > >>>>>> American Woman" which captures some of what I was looking for >> > > >>>>>> in >> > > way >> > > >>>>>> of explanation for my parent's generation. I think he captured >> > > >>>>>> it- >> > > for >> > > >>>>>> a man. :-) >> > >> > > >>>>>> On Dec 3, 8:34 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> > > >>>>>>> Your new account is off moderation rigsy. I've always been >> > > >>>>>>> struck >> > > >>>>>>> that women talking and acting for themselves are not reflected >> > > >>>>>>> in >> > > the >> > > >>>>>>> literature and that some of the characters most dangerous to >> > > >>>>>>> equal >> > > >>>>>>> opportunity are female. >> > >> > > >>>>>>> On 2 Dec, 06:27, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> > > >>>>>>>> On Saturday, December 1, 2012 10:30:37 AM UTC-6, archytas >> > > >>>>>>>> wrote: >> > > >>>>>>>>> The Body Class and Work Disability Discrimination Equality >> > > >>>>>>>>> of >> > > Opportunity Identity Politics Multiculturalism Objectification >> > > Parenthood >> > > and Procreation Power Race Rape Reproduction and the Family Science >> > > The >> > > Self Sex and Gender Sex Markets Trans Issues These are just some of >> > > the >> > > topics I thought I could put forward in teaching gender issues in >> > > management. They underlie the bland politically correct policy >> > > matters. One >> > > thing has always occurred to me as missing in every debate I can >> > > remember. >> > > Women are as bad as men as managers. I equate equality with >> > > hospitality >> > > (always two-sided at least) and suspect we don't realise behaviour is >> > > much >> > > less to do with gender or the individual than we think and perhaps has >> > > little to do with rationality. I don't think we see the wood for the >> > > trees >> > > on gender. >> > >> > > >>>>>>>> How unlike anything EVER mentioned to me as a girl or young >> > > woman. I suppose we depended on family tradition, religion and >> > > etiquette as >> > > we were groomed for marriage via mystery, motherhood and homemaking. >> > > Groomed, indeed!- Hide quoted text - >> > >> > > >>>>>>> - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - >> > >> > > >>>>> - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - >> > >> > > >>> - Show quoted text - > > -- > > > -- ( ) |_D Allan Life is for moral, ethical and truthful living. I am a Natural Airgunner - Full of Hot Air & Ready To Expel It Quickly. --
