Remarkable what extent even abuse such as persistent shouting can deform minds Molly. Our dog is a beast of peace. I wouldn't ask obedience from him beyond keeping him safe. We used to demand such from women. I wonder how this was resisted to the point no reasonable man should expect it? And how we might learn more resistance to other social-cultural inequality and the poor state of universal suffrage?
On Dec 12, 12:18 pm, Molly <[email protected]> wrote: > My youngest had colic for more than six less than seven months, and I > remember it well. He also came out full of energy and would run in circles > around a room for the longest time. I filled it full of balloons once and > he loved it, but was chastised by the doctor who was afraid he might break > one and inhale it. We do what we must to keep the joy in difficult > experience. I can tell you that now my 25 year old youngest son is a calm, > wonderful, loving person who knows how to support the people he loves, > inequality > having felt so in his younger years. > > Sounds to me like you have the stuff of a wonderful dad, Ash. Life gives us > experiences we cannot think our way through to teach us that the mind is > not always necessary, and we are often the better for moving beyond it. > > > > > > > > On Sunday, December 9, 2012 11:31:11 PM UTC-5, Ash wrote: > > > My last semester was rough, my older son is full of energy and mom had > > to take a break. The first six months are pretty much blank, some people > > called it a "colic" but for the longest time I just remember holding him > > all night humming and rocking, up every two hours all night for a bottle > > or comforting, then 'have to be to work in an hour' and get up from > > sitting position on the couch, set him in the carseat and throw on > > something lacking the wet spot in the lap (every night). The mind goes > > to a different place when enduring, but despite being very passive and > > thinking way too much I'm hardheaded as hell so all I said was, "Give it > > time sweety, please don't make me choose, I'll do whatever it takes." > > > After a look at the therapy forum open on our other computer I decided > > there were many things I just can't say. It's best to acknowledge my > > failures with a measure of dignity. Perhaps I'm at an advantage having > > no idea what it means to be a man. It has taken some time in study to > > connect categorically with the species, and it has taken a bit more than > > science, sociology, and psychology has offered. > > > Rigsy I hope you don't take my glacial speed personally, there's way too > > much to sort out on this end. At least that is the safer 'stoic' > > appearance to show. Which 'right reason'? From what I've seen it only > > exists in territorial dominance (or hermetic orders :p ). Not sure what > > type of contribution to the study this is Archy, but here it is. > > > On 12/6/2012 11:58 AM, archytas wrote: > > > One possible resolution is to change our ideas on childcare. I'm not > > > sure the focus has to be so much in the home. From the point of view > > > of women and men wanting to have kids and look after them the system > > > has lots of roadblocks - not least childcare and the times it is > > > available (and cost). The big snag with creating decent lifestyles is > > > one needs radical change and it's no use waiting for socialist utopia > > > or robot heaven - which would be chimera anyway. > > > Most of my students with young kids found it hard to start lectures at > > > 9 a.m. or attend in the evening or the afternoon after 3 p.m. At the > > > same time we had staff in the same position very good at slotting > > > their timetables between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. The provision of > > > childcare was always 'under review' rather than a reality. The > > > obvious answer is to get more flexibility and childcare in schools > > > throughout the year. This is a non-starter in 'business reality'. > > > > On 6 Dec, 13:06, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: > > >> Which leads to over-compensation and a new prejudice often/sometimes. > > >> My maternal history spanned biblicals but somehow I was able to be > > >> mostly a stay-at-home mom which even the children were grateful for > > >> and I hope to revive some of those skills with my grand-daughters as > > >> change is on the way. I have truly missed family this last dozen > > >> years. But I do see the additional stress on young women trying to > > >> juggle all those "hats"- I even felt jealous of men dashing off to > > >> their office when I had toddlers plus business on my mind. > > > >> On Dec 6, 4:24 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>> My own feeling on the work side of equality is we have to do too much > > >>> of it and that there is, in fact, plenty of time in a 40 year work > > >>> span for ten years off to deal with early child carrying and nurture > > >>> (or alternatives). We are trying to establish equality in an already > > >>> misunderstood and warped system. > > > >>> On 5 Dec, 00:39, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>>> Actually, where I am going to is economics and job creation since > > >>>> women are now equal in western countries and have embraced working > > >>>> outside the home or must be a co-bread-winner due to the cost of > > >>>> living. Plus all must compete with the machine and technology or > > >>>> competitive foreign labor. There are dozens of side issues such as > > >>>> longer life spans, over-population, impact of financial and > > government > > >>>> mismanagement, etc.//I tend to view the two sexes as a reader/failed > > >>>> writer- as types through history and am not very sentimental though > > >>>> culture continues to send mixed messages even currently.//It's lovely > > >>>> that you had such a positive experience with your own family despite > > >>>> Tolstoy thinking happy families were all alike and possibly not > > >>>> interesting to him as a writer. I think them fortunate although I > > >>>> suppose there is a sense of quest and heroic attempts for those less > > >>>> blessed that warms the soul.//Frankly, the Duchess is reminding me of > > >>>> how ill I was with my first pregnancy with no tlc or hospital- > > finally > > >>>> my mother-in-law had to take charge. Also another thing- my kind > > >>>> neighbor laughing he was glad he wasn't a woman after his daughter-in > > >>>> law's very difficult/dangerous labor (over 2 days) and delivery. > > Don't > > >>>> worry- I bit my tongue. > > > >>>> On Dec 4, 4:11 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>>>> My Mum and elder sister were pretty strong characters and it never > > >>>>> really crossed my mind to treat anyone with other than the respect I > > >>>>> felt for them. I see where you re coming from rigs. The repression > > >>>>> is ongoing in some minds and reality around the world. We are just > > >>>>> changing our gender bias in 'heir to the throne rankings' so that > > >>>>> female children get equal place. Quite why we haven't worked out > > the > > >>>>> real issue has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with > > >>>>> throwing out the Royals I don't know. If the gender-free > > inheritance > > >>>>> rules had pertained 100 years before WW1 the British King in 1914 > > >>>>> would have been - er - Kaiser Wilhelm! > > >>>>> There clearly are women's issues (men's, gays etc.) - and I doubt > > they > > >>>>> can or should be exclusively derived 'within gender' or sub-classes > > - > > >>>>> though this doesn't preclude groups talking the stuff through on > > such > > >>>>> a basis. I tend to think there has been progress, but I'm not sure > > >>>>> how this has come about, if it has. > > > >>>>> On 4 Dec, 04:01, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>>>>> Thanks.// I think your reaction can be traced back to the time when > > >>>>>> men were considered the main/only source of security so women were > > >>>>>> more likely to protect that; it really is more complicated, > > however. > > >>>>>> Earlier homesteading and farming offered a different balance- a > > very > > >>>>>> important role for the female that gave her a natural or necessary > > >>>>>> equality. But younger couples are working on a balance, as I see > > it.// > > >>>>>> Was going to bring Hesiod into the mix as he set out a horrid > > >>>>>> description of females in the "Theogeny" (IX, 507-616), written in > > 8 > > >>>>>> B.C.. I vaguely remember the professor saying he probably was an > > ugly > > >>>>>> farmer who was spurned by women so he took his revenge. But given > > the > > >>>>>> date, it is close to the Eden story. Another work came to mind > > written > > >>>>>> in the 1950's that I have poked around- "America As A Civilization" > > by > > >>>>>> Max Lerner- particularly Chapter VIII/Section 6- "The Ordeal of the > > >>>>>> American Woman" which captures some of what I was looking for in > > way > > >>>>>> of explanation for my parent's generation. I think he captured it- > > for > > >>>>>> a man. :-) > > > >>>>>> On Dec 3, 8:34 am, archytas<[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>>>>>> Your new account is off moderation rigsy. I've always been struck > > >>>>>>> that women talking and acting for themselves are not reflected in > > the > > >>>>>>> literature and that some of the characters most dangerous to equal > > >>>>>>> opportunity are female. > > > >>>>>>> On 2 Dec, 06:27, rigs<[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>>>>>>> On Saturday, December 1, 2012 10:30:37 AM UTC-6, archytas wrote: > > >>>>>>>>> The Body Class and Work Disability Discrimination Equality of > > Opportunity Identity Politics Multiculturalism Objectification Parenthood > > and Procreation Power Race Rape Reproduction and the Family Science The > > Self Sex and Gender Sex Markets Trans Issues These are just some of the > > topics I thought I could put forward in teaching gender issues in > > management. They underlie the bland politically correct policy matters. One > > thing has always occurred to me as missing in every debate I can remember. > > Women are as bad as men as managers. I equate equality with hospitality > > (always two-sided at least) and suspect we don't realise behaviour is much > > less to do with gender or the individual than we think and perhaps has > > little to do with rationality. I don't think we see the wood for the trees > > on gender. > > > >>>>>>>> How unlike anything EVER mentioned to me as a girl or young > > woman. I suppose we depended on family tradition, religion and etiquette as > > we were groomed for marriage via mystery, motherhood and homemaking. > > Groomed, indeed!- Hide quoted text - > > > >>>>>>> - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - > > > >>>>> - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - > > > >>> - Show quoted text - --
