For the server I am trying to connect, I was told to use 587 if 25 didn't work,
so I've been trying both.

You should use 587.


Here is the smtpd.conf now:

Looks good.
I bet money that the username:password pair in <secrets> is just wrong :-)

Don't forget to run
# smtpctl update table secrets
after you edit /etc/mail/secrets

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