Ron --
I had no idea of your personal situation, Ron. Is it the result of military combat in Vietnam or the Middle East? War is probably the greatest evil perpetuated by mankind, and we tend to forget the sacrifices made by our gallant men and women, mental as well as physical. We also tend to forget history, which teaches us the necessity of war to defend our freedom. We all want to be in control of our lives, but when disaster strikes we lose confidence in this possibility.
Under such circumstances, it would seem that a deeply-rooted belief system would be especially meaningful, and perhaps you are in the process of "working that out". You know my convictions on morality in an amoral universe. And, like most of the MoQers here, you have an understanding of Quality (value). What you may not fully understand is that value comes in all flavors, and that what is abhorrent to you affects your psychic sensibility and general well-being. Whatever life has thrown at you in the past is an indelible part of that being, in the same way that a physical injury leaves its mark.
I'm no psychologist, but I suspect that what you're experiencing is the psychic pain of rejecting terrifying values, while at the same time realizing that you can't erase them from memory. Fortunately, life presents us with a balance of good and bad, and by identifying with the former we can displace the worst affects of the latter. The fact that you've been a good husband and father throughout your discomfort is quite encouraging. (I've known of some young men with PTSD who were no longer able to manage their affairs, one of them having to receive 24-hour professional care.)
While I can appreciate your reluctance to stake your claim on a particular philosophy, especially one that is metaphysically grounded, the pursuit of understanding can lead to an epiphany, and personal conviction can be therapeutic in your life-experience. I'd still like to exchange ideas with you, and we can even proceed along the lines of the MoQ, if that is your preference. I was pleased to read a revealing post today by none other than DMB, which demonstrates that value-sensibility is alive and well in this group, if not precisely defined.
Talk to me when you're ready, Ron. (And thanks for taking control of those intitial caps.)
Best regards, Ham Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/
