Hello everyone
---------------------------------------- > Date: Sat, 28 Feb 2009 09:29:54 -0800 > From: [email protected] > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [MD] Who am I? > > The Toltecs viewed each being as a mirror and society as the smoke > which obscures us from seeing ourselves in every living being. Hi Ron I like that. If I remember rightly, the Toltecs as a civilization passed away centuries ago but there are still pockets of decendants living in central Mexico. Their beliefs seem related to Buddhist beliefs in that no person is a master; there are no books, no formal teachings. There are only sets of specific actions which are ways to knock on the door of knowledge so a person can see for themselves. A person cannot be told... they have to experience. > > You are never truly alone Dan, one eyed in the valley of the blind? perhaps. Dan: I am never lonely. I think rather my writings reflect a pervasive sense of loneliness in Western culture captured in the works of Robert Pirsig. ZMM tells us to care. LILA tells us that to care we need to understand the background of the people we deal with. No one lives free of suffering. We all want the same things: good food to eat, fresh water to drink and bath in, a safe place to lay our head, etc. I think compassion spontaneously arises when we realize how alike we are. When we focus instead on the differences feelings of irritation and intolerance arise. Whether we are ever truly alone or not, I don't know. I guess it depends on our background? Thanks, Dan > > -Ron > > > > ________________________________ > From: Dan Glover > To: [email protected] > Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 2:27:45 AM > Subject: [MD] Who am I? > > > > > > > Hello everyone > > I don't know who I am. You'd think after all this time thinking about it and > ruminating over it that I'd know but I don't. There are times where I've > caught a glimmer but as soon as I try and grasp the clue, poof, it's gone > like a puff of smoke, wafting through my clenched fingers and beyond my > dreams. > > "It's like a hall of mirrors at a carnival where some mirrors distort you one > way and some distort you another...Each person you come to is a different > mirror. And since you're just another person like them maybe you're just > another mirror too, and there's no way of ever knowing whether your own view > of yourself is just another distortion. Maybe all you ever see is > reflections. Maybe mirrors are all you ever get..." [LILA] > > > I like taking pictures of myself in front of mirrors. I'll arrange one close > by another and try to catch a glimpse of infinity but no matter how I twist > and turn it is always just there, outside my view. My cats come and watch the > play. They're as mystified by it all as I am but they seem to get over it > more quickly. > > "But what controls all these mirrors is the culture: The Giant, the gods; and > if you run afoul of the culture it will start throwing up reflections that > try and destroy you, or it will withdraw the mirrors and try and destroy you > that way... The mirrors take over your life and soon you don't know who you > are..." [LILA] > > I fall into silence for hours, then days, and then weeks to months at a time. > I speak when spoken to, you know, to maintain appearances, to make a > semblance of a living, but otherwise there are no words to be found breaking > the silence. I live alone. I prefer it that way though at times the > loneliness tends to press on me more than at other times. > > I speak through my writing though that too seems to dry up occasionally. The > words are there but the meaning isn't.. No matter how I struggle against it, > the silence has me in its infernal grip and refuses my freedom lest I embrace > it fully. Someone knocks at the door; I don't answer. The phone rings; I let > it. > > "Sometimes you could see little fragments of reflections of what was wrong > but they were just fragments and you couldn't put them together... Everyone > seemed to be guided by an 'objective,' 'scientific' view of life that told > each person that his essential self is his evolved material body... Each > individual in his cell of isolation was told no matter how hard he tried, no > matter how hard he worked, his whole life is that of an animal that lives and > dies like any other animal... Scientifically speaking he has no goals." [LILA] > > I see others scurrying here and there, going about their lives as if they > have goals.... and I am envious. I want to be going somewhere, as if I too > were doing something important. But I am what I am. I go for long lazy walks > during the day when others are working at their jobs. I see them drive past > me on the road in their dump trucks and telephone vans. Sometimes they wave > and sometimes I wave back. > > I like the sunshine more than clouds but I like my freedom best of all. Four > walls close me in even if they have windows to look out. When I was young I > had a job working in an old building all day long. When I could I would sneak > off and peer out the dirty windows at the brightly optimistic day and it > would take all my willpower not to quit at that very instant and make my > escape... When I grew older, I finally did. > > "They just hate it when people make love. And then they'll go to a fist fight > where someone's really hurt and all covered with blood and they'll just love > it. Or a war and stuff like that. They're all mixed up and they're trying to > take it out on you so you'll get mixed up too. They want to mix you up just > like they are and then you'll be all mixed up too and then they'll like > you..." [LILA] > > I remember when I had a real job that I felt like I was part of something. > There was a camaraderie between me and my fellow workers born of having gone > through trials and tribulations together. Sometimes I miss that, the feeling > of being part of something bigger than I am.. But then I realize it was all > predicated on a lie, and they lied despite themselves. I can't hate them for > lying to themselves, can I? > > "...What did he remember? It all seemed so long ago. Aunt Ellen. When he was > seven. There was a noise in the downstairs in the dark. His parents thought > it was a burglar, but it was Ellen. Her eyes were wide. Some man was chasing > her, she said. He was trying to hypnotize her and do things to her. Later, at > the asylum, Phaedrus remembered her pleading, 'I'm all right! They're just > keeping me here when I know I'm all right.' Afterward, his mother and sisters > had cried as they left. But they didn't see what he saw. He never forgot what > he saw, that Ellen wasn't frightened of the insanity. She was frightened of > them." [LILA] > > I find myself apart from the world though I desire more than anything to > belong. I am human, I howl at the rising of the moon. I see the neighbor's > window shades flutter at the noise though they never speak it aloud. They no > doubt know it's only their neighbor, drunk again on loneliness and despair, > bleating out his heart to an uncaring goddess hovering high and ghostly white > overhead. > > "Maybe if, during the show, the whole theater collapsed and the audience > found themselves among the stars with just space all around and no support, > wondering what a stupid thing this is, sitting here among the stars watching > this film that has nothing to do with them and then suddenly realizing that > this film is the only reality there is and that they had better get > interested in it because what they see and what they are is the same thing > and once it stops they will stop too..." [LILA] > > My eyes grow dim in the fading light of sanity. I flounder about, flailing at > shadows, greedy for company. I smile hello to everyone I see. It's too cold > and noisy though; I retreat to my own private paradise. I take care not to > look into the mirror lest I see the true hell of my own making. So I don't > know who I am. > _________________________________________________________________ > It’s the same Hotmail®. If by “same” you mean up to 70% faster. > http://windowslive.com/online/hotmail?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_HM_AE_Same_022009 > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ > > > > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ _________________________________________________________________ Hotmail® is up to 70% faster. 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