Matt said to dmb:... it's not your opinions, it's you. Your manner of
conveyance, your argumentive patterns, your dialectical style, your reading
habits, your idea of evidence, of closure, of debate, the personality you
choose to present in writing. ... in person, we'd probably have a pretty good
conversation. But in writing, I find you toxic.
dmb says:Toxic? Okay. That's not impossible to understand. I thought my case
was pretty strong in both style and substance and it must feel like some kind
of assault to be on the receiving end of such a thing. And to the extent that
this discomfort prompts you to walk away, the debate has no chance of bearing
fruit. I mean, even if I accept the all the responsibility for conversational
toxicity there is still your decision to bail out. Ending the debate is not
something I sought nor want and in fact I find it frustrating to the extent
that the substance of my case was hardly even touched. Maybe my posts would
seem less toxic if you read them out loud in a sweet, gentle voice. Maybe you
could read it in a whispered voice. I mean, you can only work with what's in
the posts but then there's the other half of the equation. Its up to you as to
how you want to take it, how you want to read it. And is it really my
responsibility to adjust my style to suit your sensibilities? Yea, to some
extent. Nobody would want to put up with an endless stream of personal insults
or take the time to wade through irrational or contradictory arguments. There
ARE rules to this game. But it seems to me that you're drawing the penalties
here, not me. Surely one of those rules says its uncool to bow out on the basis
of your opponent's style, toxic or otherwise. That just doesn't seem kosher. I
mean, how is that objection anything other than a version of the famously bogus
ad hominem argument? Can a person's arguments be dismissed because they're
rudely expressed? Of course you know all that already and these personal
insults were never meant to be philosophically sound anyway. I suppose your
point is just to let me know what toxicity feels like, to give me a taste of my
own medicine. The point of responding to my confession of hurt feelings with
personal insults and a general dismissal was to dramatize my insensitivity, I
suppose. Either you are gifted in the art of irony or you're just a lot like me.
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