This is a great discussion! My son slept in our bed while he was a baby, and I also carried him a lot in a hug a bub sling. He had some of his sleeps during the day in the sling, wakeful times in the sling, and I found it very handy when I wanted to get something done as he would be guaranteed to sleep if I put him in the sling. I used the hug a bub when we went shopping, out on walks, and just about a lot of the time. He did sleep in his cot from time to time, and also during the day he would sometimes sleep in our bed.
I asked Cas a question (sleep issues) about how she settles her son Daniel during the day, yet I didn't receive a reply. I was going to suggest perhaps carrying him for some part of each day so he feels close and secure. This may help him sleep better at night. I didn't receive much support from my parents or mother in law regarding my style of parenting. My mother would gasp if she saw Harrison in the sling and ask 'Can he breathe in there?'. I was also spoiling him according to my mother in law, and she also told me he may be a clingy boy, and I should teach him independence and not carry him. These comments always did hurt, yet my gut instinct was to just go with what I felt was best. Harrison is now 27 months old. He can entertain himself, he is relaxed and comfortable with my separation from him, and all round he seems to be a very well adjusted little boy. (My mother in law tells me he has been the easiest out of 11 Grand children to look after). During my second pregnancy (Grace), my husband and I moved, and our bedroom was much bigger so we decided to upgrade our bed to a king size to accommodate ourselves and the children. My daughter Grace sleeps in a bed beside our bed as she would NEVER sleep when she was in our bed. Our son Harrison has also decided that he likes to sleep in his own bed, and sleeps very well. So my husband and I have a very big bed to ourselves. I'm sure there will be times they will want to sleep in our bed, and we'll be thankful for the extra space. Grace has been more unsettled than Harrison, and when she was about 8 weeks old I was discussing her unsettled behaviour with my husband who said 'well you don't carry her anywhere near as much as you did with Harrison'. I agreed and decided to use the sling again as much as possible. It is more difficult to carry Grace as much, as I have to bend a lot for Harrison, yet she has been much more settled since I've carried her more, and she started to sleep for longer periods at night (which may be totally co-incidental). She seems happier when she is awake and settles more easily when she's not in the sling. I'm a big advocate for carrying babies and young children, as this has worked for me. Juliana -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of Sue Cookson Sent: Saturday, 20 March 2004 7:02 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [ozmidwifery] Parenting - instinctual or learnt? Hi, I also am enjoying this discussion. Pinky, you asked me if I co-slept with my parents, and, no, I didn't, but I was always welcomed into their bed for a cuddle anytime, as was my husband with his mum and dad. I guess that childhood experience probably imprinted the safe comfortable bed-place on me as a child. Why my husband and I decided to cosleep was nothing that we'd talked about, but an instant decision made after a wonderful homebirth. Tucking into our own freshly made bed with our firstborn after a torrid 18 hour labour, was the greatest joy I can remember to this day. And I guess there may start another thread to this discussion. Motherhood and parenting, as we all know can be and is, difficult. Some would say is not instinctual but has to be learnt. Well, I was wanting to be sterilised at 19 - kids?? no way, not for me!! I was the least maternal person I'd ever met! And yet somehow, for some divine reason, I chose to birth my first baby (and subsequent 3) at home, surrounded by those I loved and those who loved me. Within a few hours of my first baby arriving into my arms, this amazing feline-type enormous love feeling enveloped me, and is still with me to this day. There is nothing I would or could not do for my children. If you read people like Michel Odent or Sarah Buckley, Leilah McCraken (sp?), there is a lot of literature and interest these days in what exactly is released with uninterfered with birthing; hormones. cortico development (of baby - maybe me too?), etc. I certainly know how it felt, and I would say that some deeply-held intuitive parenting knowledge basically burst forth through me. I did not struggle with co-sleeping nor breastfeeding nor immunisation issues nor schooling. I have always felt that I have known what's best for each of my brood (and it wasn't always the same.). I'm not saying that it was all easy, but I can say that I had no direct role model, no precedence, no overbearing hubby or parents. I simply just did. And maybe that's why I've devoted all those years since my first birth to assisting other women and their families achieve normal, uninterfered births, coming up to 24 years. I am also therefore constantly around couples with disempowering birth experiences, and am totally convinced that birth remains one of the most potentially empowering or disempowering experiences anyone can have in their lifetime. I'm still with my partner after nearly 30 years (31st March!) and I'm 48 soon, but as a couple we are both intensely proud of our kids and also of ourselves as parents. That parental instinct was certainly 'born' with our first great homebirth, and no doubt added to with each of the other three. A passionate normal birth advocate! Sue -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
