you go tell you're husband he's a PRINCE!!! - I said so! LOL Kirsten also married to a prince
----- Original Message ----- From: "Nicole Christensen" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 9:26 PM Subject: [ozmidwifery] husbands on co-sleeping > Hi Sylvia -as you were curious about the effects of co-sleeping on > husbands....thought I might tell you of mine... > My husband was brought up in a very traditional household - no nudity, no > going near parent's bed etc etc. yet he has fathered the complete anti-of > his father (thank goodness!!!) We shower and bath with our children, all > doors are left open (including toilet)... and he lavishes our boys with lots > of kisses, love and his time. We are self-confessed dags - our little > family - we do absolutely EVERYTHING together... grocery shopping, > collecting our eldest son from school, watching him play sport, training, > walks etc etc We also have no real family support - so my husband and I > never have time alone - and whenever we go out - it is always with our boys. > I breastfeed my children until they are ready to self-wean (still going > strong tandem feeding my 2 1/2 yr old and 7 mth old)...with FULL support of > my husband ... so, co- sleeping has been pretty much an unsaid natural > extension of our parenting.... (ie doing everything together). > My husband has NEVER complained about sharing our bed with our children (or > even having to sleep in another room and bed when he gets booted out... > which is OFTEN) . > We have a single bed pushed up to our queen bed. Most nights our nearly 12 > yr old sleeps in the single bed (the other nights my husband gets a turn...) > and I sleep in the middle of the queen bed with my baby on one side and our > 2 yr old on the other. > I love having my children sleep with me. having all 3 boys with me, safe > and cosy and snuggly all night long. Then there's the giggles and fun when > they all awake together - particularly with my 12 yr old and 2 yr old who > are extremely close. When my husband is in there too - he loves this also! > My husband and I are very in-love and very close... yet we don't have the > intimacy that we once had before I was completely exhausted and chronically > sleep deprived. My husband sees how exhausted I am... and he is tired too... > as our very demanding and non-sleeping 2 1/2 yr old finally drops at 11 pm > each night - and this is when we are doing the dishes, washing nappies etc > etc. > Our sex life is a dire contrast to pre-children... I was the sex goddess... > and now I am a PLANT!!! I know he would like to have sex every now and then > (and we don't do it in the bedroom, either!) - and will sometimes be not so > subtle in hinting... but at the same time -he sees how exhausted I am, and > feels sorry for me - so would never push it with me. he also misses cuddling > me in bed - but knows that this time of our children being so young, needy > and dependant is too short-lived - so accepts that this is how it is NOW but > will not always be this way..... > I think the only thing that makes my husband frustrated - is the fact that > our toddler goes to bed so late - and then we do some housework... which by > then, it is around midnight. He would LOVE to have some "me time" for > himself to wind down... and some time shared with me. This isn't possible > with a wakeful night-owl 2 1/ yr old!!! > Your comment "that is not what's supposed to happen" -ie giving your > children yourself over your husband during the night - is interesting. I > agree that it is important to give time to your husband and your marriage... > but it is not always realistic. If our children want me/us in the night - it > is and has never been an issue... or even discussed for that matter.. as it > has always been an unspoken natural thing foir us to do... and we enjoy > being with them in bed at night as much as the children love being with us > too... > kind regards, > Nicole > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Sylvia Boutsalis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 10:10 AM > Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > > > > I don't mean to be judgmental in relation to co-sleeping but I am > > curious about what happens to the couples relationship? I am not a > > selfish person but I do regard my bed time to be something shared with > > my husband alone. For me having a child in bed turns my attention away > > from my partner and intimacy and focuses on my child. That is not what > > is supposed to happen. Children take up so much time that it's important > > to be able to find time to nurture our own relationship with our > > partner, and most of that time is usually at night when the children go > > to bed and when we go to bed. Children are an extension of us, not a > > replacement of our affections. > > > > I would be interested to know how the men in your lives are coping with > > this arrangement. Are they really into it or have they just accepted > > it? > > > > Sylvia > > Mum to Ellie 10, Chris 6 and Evan 4 (who all breastfed, but never > > co-slept) > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Wayne and Cas > > Sent: Friday, 19 March 2004 8:48 AM > > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Subject: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > > > > > > Well, we tried the side car thing last night and he went down without > > any hassles at 8.30, then woke up at 10pm so I fed him and gently rolled > > him over to the cot and he didn't stir until 5am this morning. So far so > > good. It was the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. Thanks for all of > > your suggestions. > > > > I wanted to add though that sleeping with children and babies is not > > right for everyone. I don't actually know too many adults or children > > that seem affected by the fact their parents made them sleep in a cot > > when they were babies. There is a lot more to parenting than whether you > > co-sleep or not. Ie. If you don't love your kids unconditionally, no > > amount of co-sleeping is going to give the added security a child needs. > > I think we are all individuals and so are our children and we just need > > to work out what best suits them. When Liam was the same age as Daniel > > he was very hands off, didn't want hugs, didn't want the breast a lot > > and it hurt me at the time but it was what he needed. Daniel is a > > totally different baby. > > > > I will let you know if our good fortune last night continues. > > > > Cheers Cas. > > > > Cas, Wayne, Liam and Daniel McCullough > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > www.casmccullough.com > > > > > > > > -- > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > > > > -- > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
