Then, running a hand through his hair he leaned slightly forward in the
chair clasping his hands together. He had no choice but the get back to her
question now.
"I never really thought about marriage seriously, concerning myself," he
said finally. "I just assumed I would be single for the rest of my life and
I resigned myself to that fact. So, the idea of me being married is a bit
peculiar. That having been said, I do want to get married, if you'll have
me. And I want to do it, because I love you...and because I want my child
to have my name."
"If I'll have you?" Julia sat forward herself, looking at him with a measure
of confusion "Derek, If I'll have you? If I didn't know better I would say
it sounded like you didn't know I already love you more than life itself."
"And our child," she pointed that word out with a lift of her brow "Will
have your name. We don't have to be married these days for the child to
carry their father's name. And I know you love me, I know you love me as
much as I love you. But so far I haven't heard a good enough reason to get
married."
There was just something about the mention of marriage now, of all times,
that didn't sit well with her.
And she knew why.
She stood up and actually paced a couple of times before stopping and
looking at him. Without realizing it she had also been lightly rubbing her
still flat stomach. An action to do while thinking maybe.
"I want to know why, after the time we've already spent together and knowing
how we felt about one another and you obviously being okay without marriage,
you want it now. And you have thought about it before... just said you
figure you'd be alone or single for the rest of your life. You've been
'unsingle' long enough to be expecting a child."
"Ugh," she made a small sound of frustration "What I want to know is why now
and does it have anything to do with the fact your mother might disapprove
of your relationship if we don't get married? Is that what's motivating
you?"
She had to know. She just couldn't bare the thought that he was asking her
because of something else other the HE wanted it. And she wasn't sure why..
but he didn't exactly fit the bill of someone really wanting to do the deed
and there was no way she would even consider it if she thought he didn't
really want it, for the right reasons.
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