great story Dave! I wish I had one like it but alas no such
luck. The closest I ever came to a relationship was the occasional
hand job and a few girls that were not ashamed to show their naked
bodies. From talking to my quad friends, that's about all we ever
got. To me this is very sad but we were never in the right place at
the right time.
I once hired a stripper and I was amazed at her comfort level with
me. Strangely, I was not aroused by her performance but rather had
an admiration of her genuine sincerity. The fact that she was so
comfortable being alone with me gave me a feeling of being -- finally
-- an adult. An adult male something I really didn't have until that
point. After she left, I felt liberated. I know it might sound
strange but from that point on I had a great deal more confidence and
self assurance.Maybe someday before I die I will have an experience
akin to yours Dave.
At 01:26 PM 11/24/2011, [email protected] said something that
elicited my response:
I was injured at 19 - c3 incomplete, and have nearly normal touch
sensations - hot and cold not so much. I was in a rehab ward with
6 other sci's all under 21 - 1 of whom had a sister in nursing
school who would visit often. we told her to bring 6 friends next
time and she did. they made our 6 month rehab much more
bearable. Also..... my p.t. was a 28 year old female who was very
nice to all of us guys. 1 time she took me and 1 other (para) and
his date to the drive in. Afterwards, she suggested we all spend
the night at her trailer. Rick took the couch and she dragged me
down the hall and into her bed. (I was much lighter then.) We spent
the night determining just what worked and how well it did. by
morning she said, "I'm taking you back - you're killing me." it was
wonderful to know all was not 'broken'. Since then - 1967 - I got
married to a h.s. sweetheart, had 3 kids the old fashioned way,
taught school, and had a 25 year career with Honeywell as a
programmer. now my job is in India and I fool around on the PC all
day trying to remember which happy hour is on which day, and getting
a bigger quad belly every year.
I wish everyone here a very blessed Thanks Giving and happy holidays
with good friends and family.
=============================
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet,
isn't much better than tedious
disease.<http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/George_Dennison_Prentice/>
George Dennison Prentice
<http://daveoconnell.com/>Daveoconnell.com
=============================================
In a message dated 11/21/2011 1:28:38 P.M. US Mountain Standard
Time, [email protected] writes:
I raised the sex question because when we discussed turning and
positioning in bed the thought occurred to me that everyone does
things differently, and we can learn so much from each other. I
assume the same holds true for intimacy, and I know we're always
open to information and suggestions. :)
My interest in the subject is part personal curiousity and part
professional interest as I do quite a bit of mentoring in my job.
I have a million questions, but the first, and most basic, are: how
has SCI affected your intimate relationships? Do you have a sex
life? Do you [and your partner] find it fulfilling? How does your
current lovelife compare with before your injury?
[Keep in mind that your replies may be searchable through Google in
the future, so don't write anything you'd be embarrassed to have searched.]
I will answer my own questions to get the ball rolling:
I was injured at age 18 and had not been sexually active before my
injury. I realized quickly after my injury [c5-6 complete] that I
could get a physiogenic erection [from touch] but not a psychogenic
erection [from thought.] I had very reduced sensation in that area
but the sensation I have is very nice. It took me many years
post-injury to trust someone enough to get to the point of intimacy,
but during college one of my female caregivers slipped into bed with
me one night, removed my catheter and changed my life. I never
guessed that with my reduced sensation I could climax, but I
did. Not only that, but even with her doing all the 'work' I found
that I could please my partner. From that moment on I felt I had
regained a certain manliness that I thought was gone forever.
I can't compare sex before and after SCI, but over the years I can
say I've had very fulfilling intimate relationships.
Don.
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a
friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.
- Franklin Jones
