Pete and I have been together for 29 years, we don't have any children because that is what we choose. I can't remember the last time we were intimate, we are both so tired, with my pain and him taking care of me 24/7/365 including turning me in the middle of the night. We get along fantastically … laugh each and everyday. Were still crazy about each other, but I'm 56 38 years post and he's 61 After my accident I met my first boyfriend in ICU, he was an PT student. We "dated" for the 3 months I was in the hospital then 5 months in rehab then 6 months after I was home. Kevin was my absolute best medicine. It ended when I met his Mother and she said to him I front of me "… I told you I didn't want you going out with those kind of people." Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Bobbie
Sent from my iPad On Nov 24, 2011, at 5:49 PM, William Willis <[email protected]> wrote: > I have been married since 1990, have two kids, and retired last year after 31 > years of teaching high school English. I am c5 from a diving accident in 1971 > at age 19. Until about 6 or 7 years ago my sex drive was relatively normal > (for a quad). Since then > it seems like my libido has just died. I mean desire, virility, ability -- > the whole package has just gone down the drain. Needless to say it is very > depressing and has just been a disaster for my beloved wife. She is more my > nurse than my wife. I don't know if it is my medicine, my age, > my decreasing vitality, or my mental state. I love my wife dearly, and the > whole situation has just about thrown me down a black hole. Anyone else had > this experience? > > Date: Thu, 24 Nov 2011 16:57:59 -0500 > To: [email protected] > From: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Intimacy > > > great story Dave! I wish I had one like it but alas no such luck. The > closest I ever came to a relationship was the occasional hand job and a few > girls that were not ashamed to show their naked bodies. From talking to my > quad friends, that's about all we ever got. To me this is very sad but we > were never in the right place at the right time. > > I once hired a stripper and I was amazed at her comfort level with me. > Strangely, I was not aroused by her performance but rather had an admiration > of her genuine sincerity. The fact that she was so comfortable being alone > with me gave me a feeling of being -- finally -- an adult. An adult male > something I really didn't have until that point. After she left, I felt > liberated. I know it might sound strange but from that point on I had a > great deal more confidence and self assurance.Maybe someday before I die I > will have an experience akin to yours Dave. > > > At 01:26 PM 11/24/2011, [email protected] said something that elicited my > response: > > I was injured at 19 - c3 incomplete, and have nearly normal touch sensations > - hot and cold not so much. I was in a rehab ward with 6 other sci's all > under 21 - 1 of whom had a sister in nursing school who would visit often. > we told her to bring 6 friends next time and she did. they made our 6 month > rehab much more bearable. Also..... my p.t. was a 28 year old female who was > very nice to all of us guys. 1 time she took me and 1 other (para) and his > date to the drive in. Afterwards, she suggested we all spend the night at > her trailer. Rick took the couch and she dragged me down the hall and into > her bed. (I was much lighter then.) We spent the night determining just what > worked and how well it did. by morning she said, "I'm taking you back - > you're killing me." it was wonderful to know all was not 'broken'. Since > then - 1967 - I got married to a h.s. sweetheart, had 3 kids the old > fashioned way, taught school, and had a 25 year career with Honeywell as a > programmer. now my job is in India and I fool around on the PC all day > trying to remember which happy hour is on which day, and getting a bigger > quad belly every year. > I wish everyone here a very blessed Thanks Giving and happy holidays with > good friends and family. > ============================= > What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't > much better than tedious disease. George Dennison Prentice > Daveoconnell.com > > ============================================= > > In a message dated 11/21/2011 1:28:38 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time, > [email protected] writes: > I raised the sex question because when we discussed turning and positioning > in bed the thought occurred to me that everyone does things differently, and > we can learn so much from each other. I assume the same holds true for > intimacy, and I know we're always open to information and suggestions. :) > > My interest in the subject is part personal curiousity and part professional > interest as I do quite a bit of mentoring in my job. > > I have a million questions, but the first, and most basic, are: how has SCI > affected your intimate relationships? Do you have a sex life? Do you [and > your partner] find it fulfilling? How does your current lovelife compare > with before your injury? > > [Keep in mind that your replies may be searchable through Google in the > future, so don't write anything you'd be embarrassed to have searched.] > > I will answer my own questions to get the ball rolling: > > I was injured at age 18 and had not been sexually active before my injury. I > realized quickly after my injury [c5-6 complete] that I could get a > physiogenic erection [from touch] but not a psychogenic erection [from > thought.] I had very reduced sensation in that area but the sensation I have > is very nice. It took me many years post-injury to trust someone enough to > get to the point of intimacy, but during college one of my female caregivers > slipped into bed with me one night, removed my catheter and changed my life. > I never guessed that with my reduced sensation I could climax, but I did. > Not only that, but even with her doing all the 'work' I found that I could > please my partner. From that moment on I felt I had regained a certain > manliness that I thought was gone forever. > > I can't compare sex before and after SCI, but over the years I can say I've > had very fulfilling intimate relationships. > > Don. > > > > Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an > acquaintance or a stranger. > - Franklin Jones
