Ive been a c6-7 quad for 16 yrs. My parents helped me with my care when I got out of the hospital in 1998. About a year later my mom filed for divorce and left me and my dad. he works second shift, so i had to learn to take care of things by myself from 2-midnight on the spur of the momment. So,for the past 15 yrs my dad has been my sole caregiver. I has been rough on me and him. I wouldnt suggest it for anyone that has an alternative. I dont really have a say in how alot of things go because I need my fathers help. It just puts a person in a bad position with little they can say or do but endure it. Dont get me wrong, i appreciate the help, but i dont feel like a man alot of times. The bowell regimines are what really puts a damper on a quads life. between the time it takes every other day, planning around it, and making sure you have help to get it done properly......it just plain sucks. when I get older, I may look into other options, such as a colostomy bag. I dont know if a stranger is the answer either...........I can see where many problems would come in to play with that to. Who wants to sign up to pull crap out of a person ass everyday? Ron
________________________________ From: Joan Anglin <[email protected]> To: 'Don Price' <[email protected]>; [email protected] Sent: Friday, October 4, 2013 10:53 PM Subject: RE: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? I know personally three families whose spouses are the caregivers, two of the family have done just fine over the last 12-13 years, the other family almost split up and things got much better when the spouse was no longer the caregiver. In my case it was my daughter who was my primary caregiver while she was still quite young, and it did affect our relationship and we both agreed to use somebody from the outside. Now, 18 years later she has been my primary caregiver for 4 ½ years and it has worked out beautifully. I feel that there are special risks in using a family member. It still takes a lot of respect for each other and especially for me as her mother letting her be the one to make certain decisions about my care (especially wound care) and having faith in that person. Don’t know if that helped. Thanks Joan From:Don Price [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Friday, October 04, 2013 1:53 PM To: [email protected] Subject: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but: Those of you who are married or in a serious relationship: do you choose to have your husband/wife as your primary caregiver or have an outside caregiver? I've heard and read that it is best not to have your spouse as your primary caregiver because it changes the dynamic of the relationship (assuming you were together before your injury), but I'm not sure if that's true. Your thoughts and experiences in this matter will be very helpful. Thank you, Don.
