On the Lighter Side...

WHICH ONE?

Our family was attending a wedding, and I sat next to my mom, who had 
my youngest sister on her lap. The groom was standing at the front as 
the bridesmaids walked up the aisle one by one. Growing restless, my 
sister looked up at my mom and said, "So why doesn't he just hurry up 
and pick one?"

LOST IN TRANSLATION

A friend was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a 
translator, but to identify with his audience, he wanted to begin his 
talk by saying in Spanish, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." He 
arrived at the auditorium a little early and realized he did not know 
the Spanish words for ladies and gentlemen. Being rather resourceful, 
he went to the part of the building where the restrooms were, looked 
at the signs on the two doors, and memorized those two words. When 
the audience arrived and he was introduced, he stood up and said in 
Spanish, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." The audience was 
shocked. He didn't know whether he had offended them or perhaps they 
hadn't heard him or understood him. So he decided to repeat it. Again 
in Spanish he said, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." One person 
in the audience began to snicker. Pretty soon the entire audience was 
laughing. Finally, someone told him that he had said, "Good evening, 
bathrooms and broom closets!"

GOOD QUESTION

The preacher's five-year-old daughter noticed that her father always 
paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. 
One day, she asked him why. "Well, honey," he began, proud that his 
daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to 
help me preach a good sermon." She thought about that for a moment 
and asked, "How come He doesn't do it?"

POTATO JOKES

Why did the potato cross the road? He saw a fork up ahead.
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous 
newscaster? Because he was a commontater.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He 
desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just 
butter him up.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? 
It's mashing!
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry!

lr smiles
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