On the Lighter Side... SELF PROMOTION
My cousin applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience," he jotted down "Lifeguard." Nothing else. "We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but, who can sell himself," said the hiring manager for the insurance company. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?" "I couldn't swim," my cousin replied. He got the job. ON THE OTHER HAND A grandma and her five-year-old grandson were taking a walk in the country just after the first heavy frost had dyed the foliage and given it a brilliantly colored, crazy quilt appearance. "Just think," the grandma marveled, gazing at a scarlet and gold-tinted hillside, "God painted all that." "Yes," the boy agreed, "and He even did it with His left hand." "What do you mean 'He did it with His left hand'?" she asked, somewhat puzzled by the remark. "Well," he replied reasonably, "at Sunday School, the teacher told us that Jesus is sitting on the right hand of God!"* NEW UNDERSTANDING During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course at the university. "Oh, great," I said. "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," he replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester." YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN... You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked You grind your coffee beans in your mouth You sleep with your eyes open You have to watch videos in fast-forward You lick your coffee pot clean Your eyes stay open when you sneeze The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse You can type sixty words a minute with your feet You can jump-start your car without cables You don't sweat, you percolate lr smiles --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
