On the Lighter Side...

How Come?

Little Johnny asked one of his sister's suitors, "How come you show 
up every night to see my sister when you have one of your own?"

Memory

Two men were talking. The first says, "My wife has the worst memory I 
ever heard of." The second man replies, "Forgets everything, eh?" 
"No, she remembers everything."

Rise And Shine

Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. 
"How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings?" asks 
Joan. "Oh, that's easy," replies Marianne. "I just throw the cat on 
his bed." "Why does that wake him up?" "He sleeps with the dog!"

Just Dropped In

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. 
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, 
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but 
didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up 
from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man 
just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched 
briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, 
both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. 
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no 
success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the 
situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" 
"Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice, 
Sam replied, "The balcony."

The Cure

A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new 
doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor 
told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down 
the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, 
and she told him what had happened. After listening, he had her sit 
down and relax in another exam room. The doctor marched down the 
hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the 
matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children 
and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?!" The 
young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking 
up, asked, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

lr smiles
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