On the Lighter Side... To Tell the Truth
A couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money -- fifty-thousand dollars! Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" Sally said, "No." Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile." The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning." Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..." The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here." Borrowing My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Well, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's." Weighty Matter Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied. "What's it for?" asked the first boy. "I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it makes you mad." New Math Little boy to his friend: "I don't get it. My sister insists she has three brothers, but I'm in the same family and I only count two!" All I Really Need To Know I Learned From Noah's Ark Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big. Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done. Build on high ground. For safety's sake, travel in pairs. Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails. If you can't fight or flee -- float! Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain -- shovel! Stay below deck during the storm. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side. Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside. Don't miss the boat. No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side. lr smiles --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
