> There have also been occasions, such as with a particular member of this > list, where he unilaterally decided to contribute an amount that was > significantly more than the even split per head because he felt his share > was more (actually, he usually contributed more than his share). This is > conceptually somewhat akin to Chris' "throw $20 bills until the problem > goes away" approach. :) > > During some of my more penurious phases, I have been the recipient of very tactful generosity from friends who have chosen cheaper places to meet, or done things like put down a large note that more than covered their share and say, “just pay the rest,” or say it’s a treat when there was no actual occasion, or say, “next time you pay” (when meetings were rare because geography, and of course repeating that the next time), or say, “this is my town; you pay when we’re in Bombay” and then either fight for the bill in Bombay or choose cheaper places. I have never forgotten those kindnesses and have tried to pay forward both tact and generosity in better times. (A couple of people — who are mutual friends, Udhay, and I think on this list though I don’t see them post — go to such devious lengths to intercept the bill before it even gets to the table that one is left in such awe and admiration that one can’t really say anything and just try and top them the next time.)
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