On Tue, 30 Jan 2024 at 17:56, Ameya Nagarajan via Silklist < [email protected]> wrote:
> I do think we need to let go of this everyone is trying to take advantage > mindset... And also learn to receive. So I'm glad I was able to do both > I've not always found that to be easy. Earlier in my career (at an NGO), I used to travel to Delhi somewhat frequently on work. Most of my friends in Delhi were former college mates who had gone on to become corporate lawyers in India's largest law firms, who were doing very well for themselves. They'd suggest places they would normally go to — places that were quite expensive — but I knew that I lived more frugally than I needed to in Bangalore, so I didn't mind all that much splurging a bit in Delhi. However, they'd insist on covering my bill — while they'd say (as with Peter's friends), "You're in our city", etc., it was pretty clear it was due to the difference in our earnings, and I wouldn't get a chance to return the favour when they visited Bangalore. The first time, I acquiesced (surely a bit relieved given the bill amount, given that we'd gone to an expensive Japanese restaurant and they'd had alcohol as well, which I hadn't). But when this repeated a few times, I started feeling a bit uncomfortable, despite knowing that they earned several times what I did and that this wasn't really inconveniencing them financially, and despite knowing that I ought to just be grateful for their generosity of spirit. Still, in retrospect, I feel that this seems to have subconsciously changed my behaviour: I think this might have been among the factors that led me to go more to people's homes rather than meet them in large groups in restaurants. One doesn't wish to feel one is taking (excessive) advantage of others' generosity. – Pranesh
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