The salient point that I got from your post is that you are "a bit of an extrovert". In the context of relationships, pretty much all else that you said flows from that.
If the other writer is a bit of an introvert and techy geek, then it probably doesn't even occur to her to come out on some imposed schedule (it would be imposed, not natural to her) and engage in uncomfortable banter about topics that she never thinks about _except_ when somebody else is trying to banter (sports, other people's babies, other people's pets, other people's vacation trips, gossip). I'm not the most outgoing, but I greet people and engage in small talk, etc. However, I just wander away when the local clique turns the conversation to video games (I never play 'em, and couldn't tell a PSP from a Nintendo whatever without looking at a label) or to comparative collections of obscure old B (or C) movies bought and sold on eBay. Sports? Uh.... you tell me a team name, and I probably once new what sport it attached to, and maybe even what city, but I've since forgotten. Nor can I make myself care. People who are farther down the introvert or geek scale than I am, are basically doomed, socially... :-) If the sincere-glad-hand gene is necessary for remote working, then they are also doomed to never be allowed to work away from the office. Also, you're going to have to forgive me, but whether you know it or not, the phrase " or the one who is in the office rarely but who makes an effort to befriend people" seems disingenuous or oblivious. YOU do not "make an effort". By definition, as a self-described "extrovert", you do not "make an effort" to be outgoing. Rather, you engage in behavior that is natural to you and in the mode for which you are psychologically constructed. It's like talking about the "effort" to sing. If you have natural musical ability and good pitch, you just burst into song with no prompting. The difficulty might be getting you to stop... :-) The only training or practice you'll ever need will be for fine-tuning, or to bring you to an elite competitive level. If you lack those attributes, well ... it shouldn't need explaining that monumental effort and ongoing self-denial is involved to get a far lesser result than the 'natural' achieves with neither effort nor training. I submit that behaving in an unsocial manner (I'm not prepared to call it anti-social) such as your other writer does, would be unnatural to you and would require some mental effort from you, and would still not be anywhere near as much of a stretch for you as coming the other way would be for her. That's because one stretch involves overt, unfamiliar activity, the success of which depends entirely on its naturalness as perceived by proficient (natural) practitioners, while the other stretch involves inactivity or refraining from an activity, and can be self-assessed. In other words, someone with good (if not perfect) pitch is criticizing someone who has a tin ear, for having that tin ear. The time to do that is when she sings gratingly, not when she refrains from singing. Kevin "Once you learn to fake sincerity, you've got it made." or "Never let them see you sweat." > -----Original Message----- > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > On Behalf Of Sue Heim > Sent: Monday, November 26, 2007 11:57 > To: Jones, Donna > Cc: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [TCP] Telecommuting has mostly positive consequences > > No, it's actually go more to do with making an effort. As I said, I'm > *mostly* 100% remote. That means that I do go up to our Bay Area office > now > and again. Lately, more now than again, but on average once every month or > so. > > I'm a bit of an extrovert, and people respond to that. When I show up in > the > office, people wander by to say hi and talk to me. They know I live in San > Diego, many of them are coming for a visit or have been here or have > relatives who live here. So they seek me out. > > I also make a point to make the rounds or stop and say hi when I wander by > someone's office. > > I'm friendly. People like that. One of the other writers? She sits behind > her closed office door all day. > > So, who do YOU think has a better relationship? The writer who is > physically > in the office every day but hides behind closed doors, or the one who is > in > the office rarely but who makes an effort to befriend people? The information contained in this electronic mail transmission may be privileged and confidential, and therefore, protected from disclosure. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by replying to this message and deleting it from your computer without copying or disclosing it. ______________________________________________ Author Help files and create printed documentation with Doc-To-Help. New release adds Team Authoring Support, enhanced Web-based help technology and PDF output. Learn more at www.doctohelp.com/tcp. 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