Introverted people are not necessarily shy. (Many are) Shyness implies a self-centered nature without the confidence that makes it either OK or obnoxious.
"What will 'they' think of me?" never considers that 'they' either barely notice, or soon forget, the social gaffe that looms large for the shy one. On the third hand, social gaffes by an awkward person tend to loom larger for others if only in the sense that the gaffes form a much larger relative subset of the interactions that anyone can recall with that person. Jimmy managed twenty-two social faux-pas last week, among twenty-two hundred social interactions. Francine blundered through five potentially embarrassing missteps among a total of twelve interactions. Which one's cringe-worthy moments will be most likely recalled by third parties? As often as not, social forwardness comes from _lack_ of self-awareness or at least very shallow insight in that respect, but social confidence can also arise from fairly profound self-understanding that has led to unshakeable self-acceptance. The shy people literally "shy" away from social situations. But some other introverted people just have little awareness of that whole dimension. They're not sitting on the sidelines anxiously hoping not to miss the must-be-perfect opportunity to step forward and shine (and simultaneously afraid of how they will blow it). They haven't even realized that there _are_ sidelines. A certain subset of introverted people just simply doesn't "get" most of that socializing stuff. Or they have a limited store of it and they bring it out (more likely that's when it naturally-for-them comes out on its own) with their friends or in relaxed social situations of shared interest. The office might be simply what they do to pay for what actually interests them in "real life". SOME introverted people think about, analyze, social interactions just as others might tease and poke at engineering-like problems and observations, but other introverted people don't even see the social mechanisms as... well... mechanisms. Hmm. I wonder what Ludwig von Mises would do with this conversation.... well, nothing now... he's been dead for years... but... :-) The next step, if there is a next step for this conversation, would be relating it to work, as it affects getting tech-comms stuff done. Or maybe as it relates to getting approved for telework. Maybe, for example, your nature allows you to more readily deal with "natural" barriers to getting such approval. But maybe, for example, your nature steered you toward employment at a company where the conditions were already pretty much in place, where a more introverted person might not have known what to look for during the interviews (if they even knew there _was_ something to look for). If the "tone-deaf" thing didn't work for you, think of social awareness and eptitude as full-color vision compared to any of various forms of color-blindness. I've known a few color-blind people who got to be adults before they even clued in that there exist more colors than they can see and that yes, those two objects are different colors. I think there's a good analogy there. KM Birds see more colors than you do. ________________________________ From: Sue Heim [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 12:44 To: McLauchlan, Kevin Cc: Jones, Donna; [email protected] Subject: Re: Personality types at work (was: Telecommuting has mostly positive consequences Actually, you missed my point (and my "a bit of an extrovert" is actually, I'm an introvert but I work at being extroverted)... My personality type has nothing to do with how I work with people in the office. When I am in the office I make a point to walk around and say hello to people. I also make a point to respond to people (when I'm home) as quickly as possible. Working relationships are two-way streets and you have to cultivate the relationships and nurture them. That other writer? She's not shy, she just really doesn't make an effort. She, apparently, has never realized the value of befriending those you work with (although "befriend" is probably the wrong word). There are other things I do, to ensure that they like me, they really like me! For example, the QA folks were very helpful to me when I first started, and they continue to help me when I have a question (just as I help them). These are people who I really appreciate, and I just sent off a batch of homemade cookies to them with a note stating exactly that. My personality type has nothing to do with the success of my working remotely. The fact that I work at being visible even when I'm not physically there, and work at maintaining relationships when I am, does. ...sue On 11/27/07, McLauchlan, Kevin <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: The salient point that I got from your post is that you are "a bit of an extrovert". In the context of relationships, pretty much all else that you said flows from that. If the other writer is a bit of an introvert and techy geek, then it probably doesn't even occur to her to come out on some imposed schedule (it would be imposed, not natural to her) and engage in uncomfortable banter about topics that she never thinks about _except_ when somebody else is trying to banter (sports, other people's babies, other people's pets, other people's vacation trips, gossip). <snip> The information contained in this electronic mail transmission may be privileged and confidential, and therefore, protected from disclosure. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by replying to this message and deleting it from your computer without copying or disclosing it. ______________________________________________ Author Help files and create printed documentation with Doc-To-Help. 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