"Barack Obama said he got a little choked up as he left his house in Chicago and headed for Washington, DC. It was especially painful because as soon as he left, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich sold Obama's house." - Conan O'Brien
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= The Obama girls are in a new school in D.C. It will be an adjustment for the Secret Service. Already, one agent has to write 100 times, "I will not take down little Johnny in class." - Alan Ray =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Earlier today, Barack Obama's daughters started at their new school in Washington, DC. Yeah, their teachers are really impressed and said that both girls are already reading well above President Bush level." - Conan O'Brien =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "QVC says it will be in Washington, DC and will be selling Obama souvenirs as a part of the inauguration later this month. They are even selling the "McCain-Palin Remote Control Campaign Car". It isn't very much fun though, because you can never get it out of first gear." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Sweating Bullets http://cagle.com/working/090107/parker.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "President-elect Obama has chosen CNN anchor Sanjay Gupta to be the next Surgeon General. The Obama team wanted someone with more experience, but Gupta was the only one who would accept their insurance." - Jake Novak =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "CNN's chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta has been contacted by the Obama administration about being the next Surgeon General. "Sanjay Gupta"; doesn't that sound like something you'd catch where there'd be pustules growing on your tonsils?" - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Where's The Manual?!?!? http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/sc/2009/sc090105.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Barack Obama plans to label his trillion dollar economic stimulus package the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan," or ARRP. Already, a lot of very old... very white, very confused Republican Senators say they're voting for it." - Gorsefeathers =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= What Would It Take.... http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tr/2009/tr090108.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "President-elect Barack Obama described the economy as "very sick." Historians say it was a childish way to describe a complex problem but still the smartest thing they've heard a president say in eight years." - Conan O'Brien =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Define "Everything".... http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmth/2009/crmth090106.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Obama promised low-income Americans a huge tax cut. Technically, it is not a tax cut; it's more like we all get to write off the $700 billion dollars we donated to big bankrupted companies." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= I Gotta Stop Drinking.... http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crcjo/2009/crcjo090107.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The N.Y. Post reported Tuesday that Caroline Kennedy's net worth is four hundred million dollars. It's from her grandfather Joe Kennedy's trust fund. Lucky for her he was anti-Semitic and specified in his will that it can never be invested with Bernie Madoff." - Argus Hamilton =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= On Wednesday, former Presidents Bush, Clinton, and Carter joined the current Pres. Bush and Pres.-elect Obama in the Oval Office. They offered Obama counsel and advice. Obama labeled the meeting "extraordinary". All George W. Bush could say was "gee willickers". - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Not Soon Enough.... http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdwa/2009/tmdwa090105.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Democrat Al Franken was declared the winner of the Senate race in Minnesota. Republicans in the state are expected to keep contesting the election until hell freezes over or Minnesota thaws out, whichever comes first." - Paul Seaburn =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Shouldn't'a Oughta Said That.... http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmssa/2009/tmssa090107.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Republican Norm Coleman lost a gubernatorial election to a pro wrestler, and now an incumbent Senate seat to a comedian.... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Recount Judge Blasts Wall Street Journal http://tinyurl.com/8sehqj (original WSJ article: Funny Business in Minnesota) http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123111967642552909.html =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Just remember, the party making fun of writer/comedian Al Franken voted singer and variety show host Sonny Bono into the Senate, and the co-star of a chimpanzee for President.... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Battle Rages For RNC Chair http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/01/06/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry4702524.shtml Who knew the battle for the Republican National Committee chairmanship would be so entertaining? First came the uproar over candidate Chip Saltsman's decision to distribute a CD with the parody song "Barack The Magic Negro" to committee members. ... The candidates were significantly more comfortable when asked how many guns they own. Duncan claimed four handguns and two rifles, Anuzis boasted of two, and Blackwell replied: "Seven -- and I'm good." "In my closet at home," replied Saltsman, "I've got two 12-gauges, a 20-gauge, three handguns and a .30-06. And I'll take you on anytime, Ken." .. =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "We have done a very poor job in communicating any message from the Republican Party" to minority groups. - Chip Saltsman, Candidate, RNC Chairman (same one who sent out "Barack The Magic Negro" CD) I beg to disagree.... the message, as usual, is loud and clear: - No minorities need apply - No poor need apply - No gays need apply - No women need apply - No union members need apply - No environmentalists need apply - No anti-war people need apply The voting public has definitely heard you. =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Who'd'a thunk the party of fear, smear, greed, corruption and bigotry is having trouble reaching out beyond the "Whites Only Country Club" borders? =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Unredacted quote: "We have done a very poor job in communicating any message from the Republican Party to fags, broads and negroes." =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= The candidates for the RNC chairmanship were asked to fill out a questionnaire to enunciate their views on GOP policy: 1) How often do you pray to the one God, the one who created America in all its glory? 2) Why are contraception and abortion a sin? 3) Would you prefer Creationism or Intelligent Design be taught in grade schools? 4) If vouchers were offered to replace public schools, can your company make a competitive bid if the net profit will be limited to $1.5 million per year? 5) How much should corporate taxes be cut? 6) How many guns do you own? =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Electing a Republican is like hiring a carpenter who thinks hammers are evil.... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Haven't You Heard? http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2009/01/06/tomo/ =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Illinois' Senate appointee Roland Burris reported to Washington, DC Monday to take his seat in the Senate. But, Senate Democrats rejected him because of the Blagojevich matter. Meanwhile, in the outer rings at the Capitol Building, dozens of clowns climbed out of one little car; it was the Republican National Committee." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "One reason we know that Governor Blagojevich wouldn't have tried to sell the seat to 71-year-old Roland Burris: He would have had to offer him a senior discount." - Janice Hough =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= The Monumental Achievements Of Roland Burris http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2009/01/the_monumental_achievements_of.html Nobody can say that the senate appointee of Governor Blago isn't prepared to meet his maker. The "pre-need" arrangements Roland Burris has made for his tomb ("grave" seems inadequate to describe it) reveal a healthy ego at work. ... There is space for his children Rolanda and Roland II, as well as a list of his accomplishments. ... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= A Legend.... http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crcbr/2009/crcbr090107.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "I love this part. He was turned away because they said he didn't meet the high standards of the Senate. Gee. I wonder which senator turned him down Do you think it was the one who embezzled the money? Maybe it was the one that got caught with the hooker? I know, I'll bet it was the one caught fornicating near the urinal in the airport bathroom. That was the one, exactly." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Clouded In Scandal! http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdsu/2009/tmdsu090107.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Clearly Democrats are racist. The only reason they supported Barack Obama for President was to get him OUT of their 'all white' Senate. Notice how they've given him his own 'separate but equal' branch of government?" - Stephan Colbert, "The Colbert Report" =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Sarah Palin has been chosen as the most desirable neighbor by Americans. Apparently, they didn't talk to the Russians, who know how annoying she and her family are." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Levi Johnston Quits Oil Field Job http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/story/643519.html Levi Johnston, the boyfriend of Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, has quit his North Slope oil field job over questions about his eligibility to work in an electrical apprenticeship program, Johnston's father said Monday. Johnston, 18, began working this fall in the Milne Point oil field with ASRC Energy Services Inc., a major Slope contractor. In a Sunday newspaper column, Anchorage radio talk show host Dan Fagan questioned how Johnston could take part in ASRC's apprenticeship program without a high school diploma. ... [Gov. Sarah] Palin, in an interview Monday, said she considered Fagan's column "a political potshot taken at me," one that threatens to "destroy a young man's opportunity for work." ... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= So, let's see now.... Levi Johnston held a job for which he was not qualified by the company's requirements, which came from the fact that he didn't use good judgment with regard to birth control, got a girl pregnant, and dropped out of school to earn money due to the pregnancy that should never have happened because teenagers without high school diplomas are clearly not ready to be parents and thus should keep their trousers zipped and/or their legs crossed.... And all of this came to light in the national media because the mother of his pregnant girlfriend threw herself into the limelight without regard to the effect it would have on her family, who are supposedly the most important component of her existence. And the voting public are supposed to have sympathy because....? =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Bristol Palin sold the first baby pictures of her child to People magazine for three hundred thousand dollars on Tuesday. Governor Sarah Palin was ecstatic. She told reporters that she was thrilled her daughter has enough for make-up and wardrobe." - Argus Hamilton =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Levi Johnston, the teenager planning to marry Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, has quit his North Slope oil field job. Apparently, he makes way more money making babies." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Gov. Sarah Palin appeared on a local radio program over the holidays, and sang that old Alaskan favorite,"Rudolph, the Tasty Reindeer".... ********************* Al Franken is the new face of the left wing. Sarah Palin is the new face of the right wing. The difference between the two being that when people would laugh at Al Franken, he got paid for it. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "WebTV Dawgs/Dittos" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/WebTV-Pals -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
