"Congress returned to work Monday amid a national scare over swine flu. It took
awhile to get everybody settled down. There was panic inside the Budget
Committee until health officials explained to the lawmakers that they cannot
catch it from pork."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke
out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming
this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."
- Rep. Michele Bachmann [R-MN]
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!! Wrong again, lady!!!
The 1976 swine flu scare happened on Gerald Ford's watch.
Last I checked, Gerald Ford was a Republican.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"They traced the origin of the new strain of swine flu back to one little piggy
who went to market when he should have stayed home."
- Jimmy Kimmel
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Oh, By The Way....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=eecba128e7caeceda6c6e4463ede5e4f
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Israel's Health Minister asked news organizations Monday to refer to swine flu
as Mexican Flu. He said its name is offensive to Muslims and Jews. Mexico could
be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for finding the one thing Muslims and Jews can
agree on."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Could this be a terrorist attack through Mexico? Could our dear friends in the
radical Islamic countries have concocted this virus and planted it in Mexico
knowing that you, [Homeland Security chief] Janet Napolitano, would do nothing
to stop the flow of human traffic from Mexico?"
- Michael Savage, Hate-radio Host
No, wait.... it's the GAY RADICAL ISLAMIC ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS from Mexico!!!
Crikeys, if you're going to be blaming today's right-wing boogey men, blame ALL
OF THEM!
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Now, How'd That Get Through There?!?
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=d2cf4f439abbfbcf87f78bae5ee7f8d6
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Today's Republicans would've been right at home back then:
1300s
Europe was full of conspiracy theories blaming Jews for the "Black Death"
plague.
1900
Plague epidemic in San Francisco was blamed on the city's Chinese residents.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"World health officials are worried the swine flu may turn into a pandemic. A
pandemic is a worldwide epidemic. The last time we had one of those we got the
lambada."
- Bill Williams
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"As you know, I was sick for two days last week. Had to go to the hospital
after I ate a raw pig a friend brought back from Mexico... I wasn't that sick,
but some people are, because of this swine flu, which has knocked the torture
stuff right off the front page. You notice that? So, it's obvious who is
spreading the swine flu. Dick Cheney."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Greetings!
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=8e7875f87a526f65a2f98fa8a10f4a7b
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
When they're wrong, they're reeeeeeealy f...@#king wrong!
"While some of the projects in the [stimilus] bill make sense, their
legislation is larded with wasteful spending. It includes ... $140 million for
something called 'volcano monitoring.' Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what
Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C."
- Gov. Bobby Jindal [R-LA], Feb. 24, 2009
An eruption of Mt. Redoubt began at approximately 22:38 AKDT, March 22, 2009...
http://www.avo.alaska.edu/activity/Redoubt.php
"Everybody in this room is concerned about a pandemic flu. But does it belong
in this [stimulus] bill? Should we have $870 million in this bill. No we should
not."
- Sen. Susan Collins [R-ME], Feb. 5, 2009
Swine Flu Fears Depress Markets
http://online.wsj.com/article/BT-CO-20090427-716784.html
The spread of swine flu roiled trading in everything from livestock futures to
the Mexican peso to airline stocks on Monday. Traders fretted about possible
cutbacks in consumer spending on travel and food products perceived to be less
safe because of the disease outbreak. ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
What Next?!?
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=efcf45f3886927faab23afec8e758682
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"We need to cut taxes on capital gains and let the free markets handle the
pricing and availability of flu vaccines as soon as possible."
- Rep. R.Winger [R-$$]
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Cuba suspended flights to and from Mexico Tuesday. This will stem the flow of
utility infielders to the major leagues."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The swine flu outbreak is hurting the already strapped U.S. travel industry.
Most U.S. airlines are now charging travellers a special $25 surcharge if they
don't want to be seated next to a Mexican."
- Jake Novak
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Just Passing Through....
http://cagle.com/working/090427/cagle00.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"This swine flu outbreak is bad. Today, Kermit the Frog told Miss Piggy he's
gone vegetarian."
- Frank King
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Swine-Flu Outbreak Could Be Linked To Smithfield Factory Farms
http://www.grist.org/article/2009-04-25-swine-flu-smithfield/
The outbreak of a new flu strain—a nasty mash-up of swine, avian, and human
viruses—has infected 1,000 people in Mexico and the U.S., killing 68 [revised:
over 150, suspected]. The World Health Organization warned Saturday that the
outbreak could reach global pandemic levels.
Is Smithfield Foods, the world's largest pork packer and hog producer, linked
to the outbreak? Smithfield operates massive hog-raising operations in Perote,
Mexico, in the state of Vera Cruz, where the outbreak originated. The
operations, grouped under a Smithfield subsidiary called Granjas Carroll, raise
950,000 hogs per year, according to the company Web site.
On Friday, the U.S. disease-tracking blog Biosurveillance published a timeline
of the outbreak containing this nugget, dated April 6 (major tip of the hat to
Paula Hay, who alerted me to the Smithfield link on the Comfood listserv and
has written about it on her blog, Peak Oil Entrepreneur):
"Residents [of Perote] believed the outbreak had been caused by contamination
from pig breeding farms located in the area. They believed that the farms,
operated by Granjas Carroll, polluted the atmosphere and local water bodies,
which in turn led to the disease outbreak. According to residents, the company
denied responsibility for the outbreak and attributed the cases to "flu."
However, a municipal health official stated that preliminary investigations
indicated that the disease vector was a type of fly that reproduces in pig
waste and that the outbreak was linked to the pig farms. It was unclear whether
health officials had identified a suspected pathogen responsible for this
outbreak." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"They say this swine flu is pretty rough, if you happen to get it. In fact, on
the news today, I heard a commentator say, "You wouldn't wish this on your
worst enemy." People always say that about something that's really bad. But are
you all hoping that Osama bin Laden or Bernard Madoff doesn't get this?"
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I'm Feeling It A Little....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=1098ada7a9e0c5e395615246a6995ddf
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Swine Flu Epidemic Hits U.S.
http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/swine_flu_epidemic_hits_u_s
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano declared a public health emergency
after a Mexican swine flu epidemic hit the United States. What do you think?
Charlie Sarris, Garage Door Hanger
"I had a glass of orange juice this morning. I'll be fine."
Heidi Crittenden, Pig Farmer
"Can you get infected if you work in Mexico at a pig farm where all the pigs
are infected and you take no health precautions? If so, I have made some
terrible life decisions."
Sam Smith, Insulation Cutter
"Let's see if I can recall what precautions I took during the last outbreak of
swine flu back in 1976. Oh, yes, I bought some oregano from a guy at an Atlanta
Rhythm Section concert and scorched my chest trying to iron on a 'Beaver
Patrol' decal."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
GOP Announces 10 Ways to Combat Pandemic Panic
http://tinyurl.com/cv3y75
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The timing of this Mexican swine flu is just perfect. On Cinco de Mayo, when
the kids swing the bat and crack open the piñata, doses of Tamiflu will come
flying out. The kids will be chasing and injecting each other; oh it will be a
lot of fun."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"As you know, a big holiday is coming next week here in Los Angeles and Mexico:
Sicko de Mayo."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The New Flag
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=cf2307aed46b20111ad0e6d05100e502
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
GOP REAFFIRMS PRO-SWINE POSITION
Palin, Rove Show Solidarity With Pigs
Responding to the furor over the Republican Party's opposition to pandemic
preparedness funding in the recent stimulus bill, GOP leaders came forward
today to reaffirm the party's pro-swine position.
"The Republican Party has traditionally been the pro-swine party," said GOP
strategist Karl Rove on Fox News. "This is a moment in our history when
everyone must ask themselves: Are you with the pigs, or are you against them?"
Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) also voiced her solidarity with swine, telling
reporters in Anchorage, "The only difference between a pitbull and a pig is
lipstick."
Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME), one of the staunchest opponents of pandemic
preparedness spending, said that the public should ignore the "scare tactics"
of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and "go about their normal
business with pigs."
Rove agreed, telling Fox's Sean Hannity, "I think it's the pinnacle of
hypocrisy that the same forces on the left who support same-sex marriage are
now trying to limit our contact with pigs, which is the most normal thing in
the world, and one of the most beautiful."
© Andy Borowitz
borowitzreport.com
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Dick" Cheney plans to waterboard some pigs to get to the bottom of this whole
mess....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Nice Hog....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=f64bdf431a8a8e3f2ed390f22a1aaf00
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Memo from Accounting Department to the CEO:
"After considering the likely kidnappings of our top executives and the
probable shootings of our loyal employees from rampant drug wars, plus deaths
due to swine flu, it is still cost effective to move our U.S. manufacturing
facilities to Mexico. Of course the Accounting Department and the C.E.O.'s
office will remain here."
- Norm M
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Does anyone know: Is there a kosher version of swine flu?"
- Pat Costa
**************
Never Mind....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=9a166b4cee31777d42b5253e73122de4
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