"Health officials are now warning of a new super-flu. It combines the swine flu and the bird flu viruses. They're calling it the turducken of infectious diseases." - Jimmy Fallon
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Wheel. Of. Misfortune! http://cagle.com/working/090512/bagley.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The F.D.A. now scolding General Mills for claiming that Cheerios can lower your cholesterol by 10%. They say that would be considered an unauthorized health claim. The F.D.A. also said there is no evidence that Lucky Charms are magically delicious." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Reducing Health Care Costs http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=65d21541d086ea49363271f999adcebf =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Via the World Health Organisation [WHO].... France: Universal Health Care system Cost per person: $3,500 World Ranking: 1 Those not covered: 0 United States: Private Insurance Cost per person: $6,100 World ranking: 37 Those not covered: 50 million+ (Plus? Yeah, plus any others the insurance companies can dump due to pre-existing conditions) =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= We're Here To Help.... http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=25e4f0242ee3874a1ba8f27d5a1e5c9b =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "President Obama met with trade lobbyists for hospitals, doctors, insurance and drug companies Monday. Neither side cares about health. He was dealing with lobbyists and they're dealing with the first president in history who smokes Newports." - Argus Hamilton =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= The Shell Game http://www.prairiefirenewspaper.com/files/200809-paul-fell-healthcare-cartoon.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Thursday, for the first time in nine years, the White House did not have a ceremony on the National Day of Prayer. George W. Bush is no longer in the White House, so it appears its prayers have already been answered." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "A lot of controversy yesterday for National Prayer Day. It seems that President Obama is the first president in recent years not to have a prayer service at the White House. But, you know, I understand that. Between Jesse Jackson and Jeremiah Wright, he hasn't had the best of luck with ministers." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= So What?!? http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=3c22875f44e76052b7f5c534eb60f6d1 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The FAA reported that hackers broke into the US air traffic controller computers in February... Curiously, for about 4 hours that day, everybody's luggage arrived with their flights." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The natural resources of our country are in danger of exhaustion if we permit the old wasteful methods of exploiting them longer to continue." - President Theodore Roosevelt Governor's Conference on the Conservation of Natural Resources, 1908 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Misdirection http://cagle.com/working/090513/beattie.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Elizabeth Edwards attacked her husband's mistress. Somehow, John Edwards convinced his wife it was the mistress' fault, and she seduced him. Guys, let me tell you something: don't try this with your wife, okay? John Edwards is a politician and a trial lawyer. That means he is a professional liar. He knows how to do this. You cannot get away with this. It will not work for you." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "I am starting to really worry about the Republican Party. I mean, last week they lost Arlen Specter. You know who they lost this week? Joe the Plumber. Joe the Plumber is quitting the Republican Party. This is like the Grateful Dead losing stoners." - Bill Maher =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Sam Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe The Plumber, says he is quitting the Republican Party because of their overspending. He told them not to install the expensive copper toilet tank float ball in the Senate caucus bathroom, and they did it anyway." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Stamp of Approval http://thehill.com/images/stories/weyants/2009/May/cartoon051209.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Texas GOP congressman Pete Sessions said that Obama is intentionally causing the high rate in unemployment. He's right... especially among Republicans in Congress." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The number of foreclosure filings broke a record in April, but the number of home repossessions fell 11%. In other news, banks are desperately looking to hire more people to repossess homes." - Jake Novak =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Stress Test (For The Rest Of Us!) http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=8b44550675fc28f5b8b80c2d256715bb =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "I'll tell you how bad the economy is -- today I saw a Republican driving a Prius." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Chrysler proudly announced that succesful bankrupcy will now make them more competitive. Successful bankrupcy? That must be why they keep making quality rattletraps." - Tulla Brendingulo =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Who Needs 'Em?!? http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=3e21305c3e3383b17976e2bcd8e7f140 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Texas was joined by Oklahoma in making state sovereignty claims, fanning secession talk in the South. That explains GM's desire to leave Detroit. Californians only buy imports and soon a Chevy built in Tennessee will be just as imported as if it's made in Tokyo." - Argus Hamilton =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Job Recruiter http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=8b19f497b5ce583baf5edf4c7a55a197 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Graduating Seniors Face Bleak Job Market http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/graduating_seniors_face_bleak_job With the country in the grips of a deep recession, college students will be graduating in a bad job market. What do you think? Dana Roren, Sandwich Board Person "Yeah? Well, just tell them to stay away from my job. Hey, do you like men's suits? Two-for-one, today only!" Frank Bruckner, Bathtub Fabricator "My son should be okay, as 91% of DeVry alums find positions in their chosen career fields within six months of graduating." Daniel Edelston, Systems Analyst "Just goes to show you that a good education is no substitute for a well connected father." =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= How Do We Know.... http://www.prairiefirenewspaper.com/files/200901-paul-fell-credit-risk.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "A new poll says that fewer Americans will be vacationing this summer; they'll be staying close to home. It's the high cost of gas, the lack of adequate savings, and the fact that your "house" is in the perfect parking place next to the public bathrooms." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= It's time we bring back "Power To The People", but this time, we need to make it a goal instead of a slogan. =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Despite the growing foreclosure crisis, only 55,000 Americans have taken part in a new government program to save their homes. Experts say this might have something to do with the fact that the only place to sign up for the program is your local DMV." - Jake Novak ************************* Nobody Likes 'Em Anymore! http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=1fb8517588b5fe254f266538b91e86b7 --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "WebTV Dawgs/Dittos" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/WebTV-Pals -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
