"Sarah Palin's signing to write her memoirs with publisher Harper Collins 
turned out to be a mistake. They thought they were signing Tina Fey."
- Doug Austen

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

Sarah Palin Throws Her Scientologist Adviser Under The Bus
http://gawker.com/5261511/sarah-palin-throws-her-scientologist-adviser-under-the-bus

Scientologist macher John Coale hatched a crazy plan to forge an alliance 
between Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin, Politico reported this morning. In a 
rare--solitary?--display of good judgment, Palin turned him down.

Coale proposed the idea in February, while tagging along with his wife, Fox 
News' Greta van Susteren, to Alaska to shoot a promo for the Palins. He wanted 
Palin's political action committee--the creation of which Coale had 
masterminded--to make a symbolic $5,000 donation to the Clinton campaign to 
help her retire her debt.

Coale also tried to set up a meeting between Palin and Bill Clinton, which 
seems like an insane thing to do if the idea was to get Hillary to like Sarah. 
The meeting never took place, which is just as well, because the Palins are 
preposterously fertile and she would almost certainly have gotten pregnant. ...

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

"Bristol Palin graduated from high school with a GPA of 3.497, meaning she was 
just .003 short of graduating with honors. Apparently, what ruined her chances 
of graduating with honors was the F she got in Sex Ed."
- Pedro Bartes


"If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust 
me. Nobody." 
- Bristol Palin

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

Dear Bristol, 
The way girls know the consequences is to receive comprehensive sex education, 
which goes beyond the fairy tale of abstinence only.
Signed, 
Reality

Delivery Status Notification (Failure)
This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.
Delivery to the following recipients failed:
** Bristol Palin **
The Palins have blocked all emails from Reality.

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

I support abstinence.... from Bristol Palin.
In fact, we should be abstaining from ALL the Palins!

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!!

I'm Vince, the ShamWow guy, and I think it's time you owned your very own 
re-virginator:
........... The New and Improved Hymenizer 2009!!!

Now available with a brand new re-processed purity ring!

Order today and you will be entered in the Hymen Registration Database for 
tracking the creation and preservation progress of all Hymens in the US!!!

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

"Girls if you want to stay safe just go lesbian until you're married, or old 
enough to drink responsibly, whichever comes first."
- Anonymous Alaskan Gov's Formerly Pregnant Daughter

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"At his commencement speech at Notre Dame, President Obama said we should be 
doing everything we can to prevent unplanned pregnancies, to which John Edwards 
said, 'Tell me about it.'"
- Jay Leno

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

"Donald Trump announced Tuesday that despite the controversy over Miss 
California Carrie Prejean's stand on gay marriage and racy pre-pageant photos, 
she will keep her crown. Hmm. Who would have ever imagined Donald Trump would 
side with the hot lady who likes to take her top off?"
- Amy Poehler, SNL "Weekend Update"

=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=

"Same sex marriage should be legal, of course. I have been happily married to 
myself for three years this August. We have never been happier."
- Hug Tharsden, Bodybuilder (thevoiceofreason.com)


************************
God Gave Miss California An Eternal Soul, I Gave Her Those Hooters
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/16/bill-maher-god-gave-miss_n_204230.html


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