"25% of President George W. Bush's Cabinet members have landed jobs with consulting or lobbying firms. The other 75% are plea bargaining with the Obama administration." - Jake Novak
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Dick & Dubya.... Reunited! http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/cheney-on-tv-open/1105242/ =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "If you're planning to be in Toronto next week, there's going to be a great event. Former President Clinton and former President George W. Bush are going to be debating in Toronto. I mean, believe me, there's nothing more exciting than a presidential debate that doesn't count. Whoa! Cut me a slice of that! ... People are saying, "Well, what's the point?" You know, the former presidents debating. I don't know about Clinton but for George W. Bush, it's understandable. I mean, you just can't keep a natural debater like this guy out of the game." - David Letterman =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Good News! http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=dc368e8941f6e5a348ba08f2e58d4566 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Senate Passes Bill Forcing Lenders To Spell Out Everything http://tinyurl.com/p9czdb Credit card companies will still be able to hike their rates as high as they want, but at least they'll have to warn you first. That's after the Senate yesterday passed a credit card reform bill that forces card companies to tell customers precisely what they are charging, and bans tricky tactics inflicted on consumers lately. ... One element cut from the bill was a 36% rate cap. One that got added was an amendment to let people tote loaded guns in parks. ... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Takin' Care Of Business! http://cagle.com/working/090519/margulies.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= ". . . an amendment to let people tote loaded guns in parks." ?!? What the hell, you may ask, does THAT have to do with credit card reform?!? Well, let's just say VISA is having a retreat for its executive committee in a park. This makes it easier for you to voice your complaint. =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The Senate voted Tuesday to allow loaded guns in national parks and wildlife refuges. Because you just never know when Smokey the Bear might go crazy and try to steal the Twinkies and hashish out of your backpack." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= I'm Thrilled.... http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=a88dd0bfdb7596f5dac85134ada5b6ea =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Senate passes credit card reform bill requiring lenders to clearly spell out terms, including arcane clauses such as IVb: "This is money," XXII: "You have to pay it back," and XXXVI.5a: "We charge interest." - Fark.com =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= I Don't Think.... http://cagle.com/working/090519/matson.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "This week marks the 54th anniversary of the invention of the credit card See, before that, people practiced something called 'living within their means' -- a foolish, foolish, outmoded way of life." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= We know Republicans aren't good with numbers, since they added up all those Clinton surpluses and somehow ended up with a deficit.... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= I'd Never Hurt You! http://thehill.com/images/stories/weyants/2009/May/cartoon052109.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Social Security, Medicare Running Out Of Money http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/social_security_medicare A combination of the floundering economy and the increasing number of retiring baby boomers could completely drain Medicare by 2017 and Social Security by 2037, both earlier than had been predicted. What can people do to ready themselves? - Avoid ever having to retire by securing a job with a lifetime appointment, like Supreme Court justice or Chilean dictator - Buy a decent pair of socks that can last for the next 40 years - Mend strained relationship with most successful child - Don't blow all your antibiotics on the one lung infection - If your employer doesn't offer a 401(k), try fashioning one yourself out of any spare pieces of Internal Revenue Code you have lying around - Demand that Congress engage in divisive, protracted, but ultimately successful bargaining to produce legislation that, with much fanfare, extends these programs' solvency through 2039 - Mentally prepare to have no money and die earlier - Assume someone will figure everything out by then =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Of Course, I Believe You..... http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=496b70b07d9c885ec8fa3710848bc132 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Michael Steele spoke before RNC officials on Tuesday and called for an end to the "era of apologizing" in the GOP. Later he apologized to Rush Limbaugh for scheduling the speech at the same time as his show." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Today we are declaring an end to the era of Republicans looking backward The era of apologizing for Republicans' mistakes of the past is now officially over. The era of Republican navel gazing is over. We have turned the corner on regret, recrimination, self-pity and self-doubt. Now is the hour to focus all of our energies on winning the future. ... the thing we need to remember is this: Ronald Reagan never lived in the past. Ronald Reagan was all about the future. If President Reagan were here today he would have no patience for Americans who looked backward. For Reagan's conservatism to take root in the next generation we must offer genuine solutions that are relevant to THIS age." - Michael Steele, RNC Chairman 2009 GOP State Chairmen's Meeting =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= There you go, RNCers, don't look backwards. After all, Reagan would never look back, right? Do you think his audience noticed that Steele had to look back to Reagan in order to tell them why looking back was bad? =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= The New [R] Spokesman http://www.cagle.com/working/090514/markstein.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The era of Republican navel gazing is over." Apparently, staring up Rush Limbaugh's sphincter is much more exciting to them.... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Michael Steele said the GOP should copy Reagan and move forward because Ronald Reagan never lived in the past. Of course Reagan never lived in the past; he had Alzheimers and didn't remember a thing." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "I love this, the Federal government [is] now bailing out insurance companies. Billions of our dollars are going to some of the nation's top insurance companies to keep them from collapsing. Wow, too bad they didn't have insurance!" - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Economy Has Bottomed Out http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/economy_has_bottomed_out White House budget chief Peter Orszag said that with April consumer prices stable and production declining at a slower rate, the worst of the recession is over. What do you think? Kevin Burke, Air Quality Tester "Seriously? But I just learned how to save money." Barbara Roberts, Darkroom Worker "I don't understand economics very well, so could you put the question to me again in analogy form? To help you, my favorite analogies involve old dogs, apples, and fishes on bicycles." Ian Katz, Kennel Attendant "What great news for people whose lives exactly mirror economic data reported by the government." =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= On The Plus Side.... http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=5c0ad8088eada57f9881eca0612e9a04 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The economy is bad. Dick Cheney was hanging people by their ankles just to catch the change that fell out of their pockets. That's how bad." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Pfizer announced Thursday it will give Viagra pills free to customers who have lost their jobs or health insurance. This is so inhumane. The last thing an out-of-work auto worker, auto executive or auto dealer needs right now is a bundle of joy." - Argus Hamilton =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Did you guys see Oprah's show today? On Oprah's show today, she gave everyone in her audience a free Chrysler dealership. It was so nice of her. It was under the seat.'" - Jimmy Fallon =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= How Much Should They Care? http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=b636b38b7a38eca0f9d109201d441c96 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Shareholders Reject Pay Package for Shell Executives http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/20/business/global/20pay.html Shareholders, angered by lofty executive pay at a time of dwindling earnings, turned their wrath on Royal Dutch Shell on Tuesday, voting against compensation packages for senior managers. ... Shareholders routinely endorse executive compensation packages for the previous year at their annual meetings. The vote is not binding and does not affect what the executives have already received. But the vote by Shell shareholders against the pay packages for 2008, set by an independent committee, sent a strong message to the company's executives. "Shareholders are beginning to show their muscles," said Justin Urquhart Stewart a founder and marketing director of Seven Investment Management in London. "Their actions may be limited, but they can make a noise and embarrass people, and embarrassment goes a long way in this environment." .. =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The price of gas has gone up 25 cents per gallon in the past 3 weeks. Oil companies are trying to soften the blow to customers. At most stations, air and water will remain 50 cents." - Alan Ray =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The White House announced future regulations for all U.S.-made cars Tuesday. From now on all cars are going to be made under the same standards as California cars. They must be able to be steered with the right knee while the driver drinks coffee, talks on the cell phone, texts the office for messages, and shoots the driver who just cut him off." - Argus Hamilton =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Finally, A Higher Standard http://cagle.com/working/090519/sherffius21.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Obama Announces First Nationwide Regulation of Greenhouse Gases http://tinyurl.com/q4hxxp President Obama today proposed tough standards for tailpipe emissions from new automobiles, establishing the first nationwide regulation for greenhouse gases. The proposal also raises fuel efficiency targets to 35.5 miles per gallon for new passenger vehicles and light trucks by 2016, four years earlier than required under the 2007 energy bill. The president praised automakers, unions and political leaders for forging what he called a "historic agreement to help America break its dependence on imported oil." ... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= I Really Hope.... http://thehill.com/images/stories/weyants/2009/May/cartoon052009.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "The Obama administration is set to announce tough standards for tailpipe emissions of carbon dioxide from new cars that will satisfy California, which has been fighting to set its own guidelines. Which means the rest of us won't have to move to California to continue breathing." - Joe Hickman =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Emission Limits http://cagle.com/working/090518/lane.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Well, last week, the FDA scolded General Mills for claiming that Cheerios lowers your cholesterol by 10%. Well, they're not stopping there. Today, under pressure, Captain Crunch admitted he lied about his military record." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Senate Confirms Obama's Pick For FDA Chief http://tinyurl.com/qdacoj The Senate on Monday confirmed President Barack Obama's pick to oversee food and drug safety, two areas that are vital to consumers and widely seen as in critical need of improvement. Dr. Margaret Hamburg, a bioterrorism expert, will be sworn in as the 21st commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration and only the second woman to hold the post in 100 years of agency history. The Senate confirmed her nomination by voice vote. Her first priority will be to help direct development of a vaccine for the new swine flu. She says she also wants to revamp food safety. The FDA oversees goods ranging from peanut butter to cancer drugs to medical imaging machines -- a portfolio that represents about a quarter of consumer products. But its reputation has been tarnished. A few years ago, the agency was shaken by the withdrawal of Vioxx, a painkiller that turned out to have serious heart risks. Recurring outbreaks of foodborne illness have exposed its haphazard oversight of the nation's food supply. A federal judge recently ruled that the FDA politicized a decision on emergency contraception during the Bush administration. And morale problems keep spilling out into the open. ... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= America's Favorite! http://cagle.com/working/090518/sherffius21.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Only one industry in the U. S. can legally inject known toxins directly into sources of drinking water without federal regulation, but as early as this week, legislation may be introduced in Congress to overturn the exemption granted to Big Oil by the 2005 Congress at the urging of Dick Cheney, former Halliburton CEO..." - TXsharon (DailyKos.com) CLOSE THE HALLIBURTON LOOPHOLE http://www.earthworksaction.org/publications.cfm?pubID=398 Hydraulic fracturing involves the injection of fluids, often containing toxic chemicals, into oil or gas wells at very high pressure. These pressurized fluids are used to crack open the underground formation to allow oil or gas to flow more freely and increase production. Studies show that, while some of the injected fluids are returned to the surface, some remain underground. In some cases, they are injected directly into underground sources of drinking water. Our nation's drinking water sources are extremely precious resources; according to the U.S. Government Accountability Office, approximately half of the total U.S. population and 95% of our rural population obtain drinking water from underground water sources. ... =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Can You Do This With Your Water? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U01EK76Sy4A =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Dick Cheney went to see the Tom Hanks film 'Angels and Demons,' and through the whole movie he's screaming, 'Go Demons! Go Demons!'" - David Letterman =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Forget About That First Year, Wouldja? http://www.cagle.com/working/090518/conrad.gif =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= BREAKING NEWS from PNN.news.com -- Cheney delivers commencement address at University of Southern Hell. (IronicTimes.com) PNN: Making you more informed and obnoxious than when you woke up. ************************************************************* © 2008 PBen News Network, Inc."We say it, you believe it." --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "WebTV Dawgs/Dittos" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/WebTV-Pals -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
