"New research out of the University of Virginia says that our mental abilities
begin to decline around the age of 27. In fact, by the age of 50, many of us
are thinking at a President Bush level."
- Jay Leno
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Repeat After Me....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=1609fcc4a6cbf43199632b336eb7469a
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"George W. Bush said Tuesday he'll write a memoir about his twelve toughest
decisions. He invaded Iraq even though it had nothing to do with the Twin Tower
attacks. He now realizes the best way to protect New York would have been to
invade the London offices of AIG."
- Argus Hamilton
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If There Were No Newspapers....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=8cceb501a5156fa61d06fb66a152f3d0
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
George W. Bush's Twelve Toughest Decisions....
"Coors Light first, then Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels first, then Coors Light?
Hell, I guess they don't call it a 'chaser' fer nuthin', heh."
"Tradin' Sammy Sosa. Damn. I traded Sammy Sosa."
"Pickin' a Vice President. That one was so dang tough, I jes' didn't do it, I
let the guy in charge of findin' me a Vice President make the decision. Lucky
fer me, Unca Dick chose his own dang self!"
"'The Pet Goat' or 'Goodnight Moon'? Well, it's too early for us to do nap
time, so I'll read 'em that goat book."
"No more 'ghost writers'.... I see'd Karl Rove and Karen Hughes writin' that
other book I wrote, ghosts's my big brown eye!"
"Less government intrusion in American lives: it's the Republican way!
Exceptin' if it's a pro-life thing, like that lady they wanted to take offa
life support jes' 'cause she wouldn't speak up for herself.... I swear, she
winked at me on that satellite feed Ricky Santorum showed me!"
"Pretzels are so NOT better than chips 'n dip, no matter what Unca Dick says!"
"Somebody write me a speech without that 'nookular' word in it, gawdingit!"
"Where should I go on vacation this month? The ranch? Camp David?
Kennebunkport? Naw, that 'bunk' part's fer real! Ooh, I know, Aferca, I see'd
these elephants doin' it this one time, that was way cool!"
"'N', 'Q', what the heck's the difference?!?"
"It so unwinds me when Condi gives me a neck massage during staff meetings, and
I still don't understand what that chubby German President Merkel's problem
was!"
"No way I am EVER goin' huntin' with Unca Dick!"
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
LINGUA BUSHICCA
"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this
administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying
exactly what happened."
- Former Pres. George W. Bush, re: memoir
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
THE REAL "BUSH" BOOK:
See Dick Run.
Run My Presidency.
Run Dick Run.
Dick And Donald Run.
Run The World Into The Ground.
Run Dick And Donald Run.
See Alberto Burn.
Burn The Constitution Alberto.
Burn Alberto Burn.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"A little health scare for former Vice President Dick Cheney's wife, Lynne
Cheney. She was hospitalized briefly after fainting... She's apparently okay.
But here's kind of a funny thing that happened. The paramedics arrived, and out
of habit they started giving CPR to Dick."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Hmmmm.... maybe she's just now realizing she's married to "Dick" Cheney?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The wife of former vice president Dick Cheney, Lynne Cheney, was rushed to a
hospital in Philadelphia, Monday. Don't worry though, she is OK. It turns out
she was visiting friends and not on a duck hunting trip with her husband.
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I'll bet in a past life Dick "Torquemada" Cheney was hip deep in the Spanish
Inquisition....
CHENEY HAS AUDACITY TO SAY OBAMA IS ENDANGERING AMERICANS
http://tinyurl.com/c4aq24
Recently former Vice President Dick Cheney had the audacity to claim the Obama
administration, by reversing President George W. Bush's policy on the harsh
interrogation of terrorist suspects, has endangered American lives and opened
our country to another terrorist attack. Americans would be best served by
ignoring the baseless accusations of the former vice president.
Today, if America is as vulnerable as Cheney claims, the reasons are that the
interrogation methods he defends have become a major recruiting tool for
terrorists, and that he and his ilk diverted America's resources away from
those who attacked us on 9/11 by invading a country that did not. Regrettably,
the war in Iraq was a costly distraction for which we are now paying in
Afghanistan and Pakistan. ...
On this subject, Harper's Magazine contributing editor Scott Horton interviewed
U.S. Air Force Major Matthew Alexander, who, through skillful interrogation
that didn't involve torture, secured information that led to the killing of Abu
Musab al Zarqawi, the late head of al Qaeda in Mesopotamia.
Matthews insists, "I listened time and time again to foreign fighters, and
Sunni Iraqis, state that the number one reason they had decided to pick up arms
and join Al Qaeda was the abuses at Abu Ghraib and the authorized torture and
abuse at Guantanamo Bay. My team of interrogators knew that we would become Al
Qaeda's best recruiters if we resorted to torture."
He added that the loss of "at least hundreds but more likely thousands of
American lives... are linked directly to the policy decision to introduce the
torture and abuse of prisoners as accepted tactics." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Says Who?!?
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=792f18b185e847fb9e747a9e9d42dde9
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
It's a good thing Jesus exempted Americans from being accused of war crimes, or
"Dick" and Dubya would be in trouble....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
They'll Love It!
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=da1d43522c18254d962149883380a9ba
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Osama Bin Laden released a new audio tape two days after his birthday.
Apparently, he is asking Rush Limbaugh if he wants to record a duet with him in
a song called 'I Hope Obama Fails'."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Top Brass Disturbed By GOP Stalling Of Iraq Ambassador
http://tinyurl.com/c8w8s2
There's one as yet unremarked constituency increasingly disturbed by some
Republican senators' efforts to block the confirmation of former North Korea
envoy Christopher Hill to be the next U.S. ambassador to Iraq: the US. military.
Sources tell The Cable that Centcom commander Gen. David Petraeus, top Iraq
commander Gen. Raymond Odierno, and Defense Secretary Robert Gates are
frustrated by the delay in getting a U.S. ambassador confirmed and into place
in Iraq, and support Hill's confirmation proceeding swiftly.
Opposition to the Hill appointment has been led by Sens. John McCain (R-AZ),
Sam Brownback (R-KS), and Lindsey Graham (R-SC). Brownback has called Hill's
past dealings with Congress over North Korea "evasive and unprofessional." In a
joint statement last week, McCain and Graham wrote that Hill had a
"controversial legacy" on North Korea, and added, "The next ambassador should
have experience in the Middle East and in working closely with the U.S.
military in counterinsurgency or counterterrorism operations Mr. Hill has
neither."
Since the previous ambassador, Ryan Crocker, left the job Feb. 13, Odierno has
complained of doing double duty: serving as the commanding general and the de
facto ambassador. ...
"I would not at all be surprised if military commanders in Iraq are frustrated
that they don't have a new ambassador in position," added Gen. William Nash
(ret.), the former top U.S. commander in Bosnia, now a senior fellow at the
Council on Foreign Relations. "The issues are far more political and economic
than they are military and U.S. efforts need to move forward on those fronts.
That's particularly critical in the execution of the withdrawal plan."
Asked if Republican objections to Hill that he is not a Middle East expert are
legitimate, Nash said the opposition is "being difficult to be difficult. I
have known Chris Hill for 14 years. He is a wonderful diplomat and exactly the
kind of guy we need in Iraq." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"U.S. jets shot down an unmanned Iranian spy aircraft over Iraq last month. It
wasn't on a military mission though. It was collecting voyeur shots for the new
'Baghdad Girls in Burkhas Gone Wild' video."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
West Point Grads Form Gay Support Group
http://www.armytimes.com/news/2009/03/military_westpoint_knightsout_031609w/
Thirty-eight graduates of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, N.Y., came
out of the closet Monday with an offer to help their alma mater educate future
Army leaders on the need to accept and honor the sacrifices of lesbian, gay,
bisexual and transgender troops.
"Knights Out" wants to serve as a connection between gay troops and Army
administrators, particularly at West Point, to provide an "open forum" for
communication between gay West Point graduates and their fellow alumni and to
serve in an advisory role for West Point leaders in the eventuality -- which
the group believes is both "imminent and inevitable" -- that the law and policy
collectively known as "don't ask, don't tell" are repealed by Congress.
"We're publicly announcing our sexuality, our orientation," said 1st Lt. Dan
Choi, a National Guardsman with the 1st Bn., 69th Infantry, based in Manhattan.
"It's just one part of who we are in saying that we are standing to be
counted." ...
Choi, a Korean by descent, is a combat veteran of Iraq who graduated from West
Point in 2003 with a degree in Arabic language. He said his unit is aware that
he's a homosexual and added, "I'm very comfortable with all the repercussions
right now. To me, it's about doing the right thing, not about trying to fit
into the process that gets you the rank or prevents you from getting a
discharge.
"If that's the repercussion, I'm ready to take it," he said. "I think it's more
important that I let everybody know that ... it is a wrong policy." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The American Legion ripped a White House plan to shift wounded veterans'
health care costs to a soldier's own private insurance. No one can believe this
is a serious proposal. It's so profoundly stupid that people are thinking
Barack Obama was kidnapped on election night and replaced by a robot from the
makers of Dan Quayle."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Insurance Change for Veterans Is Scrapped
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/19/us/politics/19vets.html
Under withering criticism from veterans and Congress, President Obama on
Wednesday abandoned a proposal that would have required veterans to use their
private health insurance to pay for the treatment of combat-related injuries.
...
Lawmakers of both parties said the proposal would have made it more difficult
for some veterans to get affordable private health insurance for themselves and
their families.
"Pushing combat injuries onto personal insurance plans could make service to
our nation a pre-existing condition," which could be used to justify the denial
of private coverage, said Representative Roy Blunt, Republican of Missouri. ...
The chairmen of the House and Senate Committees on Veterans Affairs, Senator
Daniel K. Akaka, Democrat of Hawaii, and Representative Bob Filner, Democrat of
California, had publicly opposed the proposal.
"Our budget cannot be balanced on the backs of our nation's combat-wounded
heroes," Mr. Filner said. ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
So, let's see.... the president's team put forth an idea to cut the budget,
albeit a bad idea, but an idea nevertheless.
Those affected by this spoke up, objected, and presented their case to the
President.
The President listened, and rather than dismissing them as some "focus group"
and proceeding to smear/swiftboat them, took their concerns seriously and
dropped the bad idea.
It's so-o-o-o-o-o-o freakin' nice to have the grownups in charge once again....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to
be given a square deal afterwards. More than that no man is entitled, and less
than that no man shall have."
- President Theodore Roosevelt
Speech to veterans, Springfield, IL, July 4, 1903
*****************
Secret Agent Man!
http://tinyurl.com/dyfcls
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