"The Weather Channel showed freezing spring weather across the United States on
Saturday. There were record lows from the Rockies to the Eastern Seaboard. It
was so cold in New York that Bernie Madoff is actually looking forward to
burning in hell."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Bernie Madoff trading cards will be sold this summer as part of a set
featuring other white-collar criminals such as D.B. Cooper and Charles Ponzi.
On the back, it says Madoff is 5-feet, 8-inches tall, weighs 160 pounds and
likes to sing 'Some Enchanted Evening' when his cell mate crawls into bed with
him."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I Don't Feel So Good....
http://cagle.com/working/090327/rogers.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Remember when President Bush and the GOP Gang wanted to privatize Social
Security and make us put all that money into the stock market?
Remember how we, the people, and the Democrats in Congress, told President Bush
and the GOP Gang to f...@#k off, that'd be a totally bad idea, and we won the
day and the idea was put aside?
Guess what? It really wasn't out of their minds at all. But instead of using
our Social Security funds....
PENSION INSURER SHIFTED TO STOCKS
http://tinyurl.com/cfz3yd
Just months before the start of last year's stock market collapse, the federal
agency that insures the retirement funds of 44 million Americans departed from
its conservative investment strategy and decided to put much of its $64 billion
insurance fund into stocks.
Switching from a heavy reliance on bonds, the Pension Benefit Guaranty
Corporation decided to pour billions of dollars into speculative investments
such as stocks in emerging foreign markets, real estate, and private equity
funds.
The agency refused to say how much of the new investment strategy has been
implemented or how the fund has fared during the downturn. The agency would
only say that its fund was down 6.5 percent - and all of its stock-related
investments were down 23 percent - as of last Sept. 30, the end of its fiscal
year. But that was before most of the recent stock market decline and just
before the investment switch was scheduled to begin in earnest. ...
Last year, as director of the Congressional Budget Office, [Peter] Orszag
expressed alarm that the agency was "investing a greater share of its assets in
risky securities," which he said would make it "more likely to experience a
decline in the value of its portfolio during an economic downturn the point at
which it is most likely to have to assume responsibility for a larger number of
underfunded pension plans."
However, Charles E.F. Millard, the former agency director who implemented the
strategy until the Bush administration departed on Jan. 20, dismissed such
concerns. Millard, a former managing director of [now defunct] Lehman Brothers,
said flatly that "the new investment policy is not riskier than the old one."
...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I Liked It Better....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=9ea0b2d39157f63bf47b97f04a0d9f40
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
American economic policy since the Reagan Era....
"Privatize The Profits, Socialize The Losses."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The Dow Jones Industrials fell more than 250 points Monday. In fact, the stock
market is crashing so frequently, Wall St. hired laid-off autoworkers to
install airbags."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Have you noticed?
When the Dow goes down it's Obama's fault.... when the Dow goes up, it's in
spite of Obama.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"One day the market is up the next it is down, up and down, up and down, on and
off, on and off; this isn't a bull or bear market, it's a Paris Hilton market."
- Alex Kaseberg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
TOP FIVE WORST EXCUSES FOR NOT COMING INTO WORK
1. You know Jay over in accounting? I've got a bad case of Jayfever
2. I want to be the first Wal-Mart greeter that telecommutes
3. I woke and could have sworn it was Sunday
4. The water in the shower wouldn't get hot
5. The dog ate my car
- Tim Hunter, wackyweek.com
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Lawmakers in eight states want recipients of food stamps and welfare checks to
submit to drug tests... Wow, and you thought there was a lot of pissing and
moaning in the unemployment line before!"
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The average American now works to support one spouse, three kids, four banks
and two car companies."
- Sid Knowles
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Uh Oh....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=48a56c64e34b084db91204367fb8f656
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Things are so bad at General Motors that today the company was downgraded to
Cadet Motors."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"As you know, economists have been predicting the U.S. auto industry would be
in big trouble. See, that's why I have so many cars. I've been stockpiling. I
was smart. I knew this would happen."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
A Toast....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=e4bcff575693e31dfd9f5f76e89c7804
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"You know the big story yesterday? President Obama, he goes to the GM people
and he says, "All right, look, guys, do you want any more dough? You're going
to have to get rid of your C.E.O., that Rick Wagoner. Tell him to take a hike
and literally take a hike because he's not getting a car out of here." So he's
gone. So he gets dumped. In addition to getting dumped, he receives a $20
million bonus to resign. Let that be a lesson to you other two big carmaker
heads."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Actually, President Obama guarantees that if you buy a G.M. or Chrysler
product and they don't survive, they will back your warranty. Well, that's
great news for consumers. Combine the efficiency of the Federal government with
the honesty of car mechanics."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Barry's Auto Emporium
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/04/01/fioreemporium.DTL
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"So the United States government is now running General Motors, because if
there's anyone who knows anything about streamlining costs, it's the U.S.
government, ladies and gentlemen."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"This is highly unusual for the government to take this kind of action. I mean,
the closest the previous administration came to getting involved in the car
industry was Bush using jumper cables to jump-start Dick Cheney's heart."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Gov't Issued....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=9ccc49ffd7ea9a3b31fecc2cd4057708
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The Executive Who Brought Down AIG
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=7210007
The FBI and federal prosecutors are reportedly closing in on the AIG executive
whose suspect investments cost the insurance giant hundreds of billions of
dollars. The government is investigating whether or not 54-year old
Brooklyn-native Joseph Cassano committed criminal fraud in virtually
bankrupting the company.
"He almost single-handedly is responsible for bringing AIG down and by
reference the economy of this country," said Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Ca.)
Cassano, who lives in London, made more than $300 million running the infamous
Financial Products Division of AIG where he, with about a dozen others,
committed AIG to insure what turned out to be more than a trillion dollars
worth of junk quality loans held by banks. ...
An ABC News investigation found that Cassano set up some dozens of separate
companies, some off-shore, to handle the transactions, effectively keeping them
off the books of AIG and out of sight of regulators in the U.S. and the United
Kingdom.
"This is the other very important issue underneath the AIG scandal," said Blum.
"All of these contracts were moved offshore for the express purpose of getting
out from under regulation and tax evasion." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I Can't....
http://cagle.com/working/090310/mccloskey.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an
organized society."
- President Franklin D. Roosevelt
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
In Charge....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=3d261574d426350c24e833065c5ebd5b
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"It's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out
banks; we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special
box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your
taxes to actually go to running the government?"
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Q: What's the difference between a Bank CEO and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking after you smack it and correct the credit
derivative contract between two counterparties if the buyer makes periodic
payments to the seller, and in return receives a payoff if an underlying
financial instrument defaults.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The federal government has set up a website with "useful" tips for dealing
with economy-related depression, like: don't listen to Rush Limbaugh, don't
listen to Rush Limbaugh, and don't listen to Rush Limbaugh."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh says he'll leave New York over Gov.
Paterson's tax increases
http://tinyurl.com/chtglv
Well, that's one less recovering drug addict for New York.
Rush Limbaugh, the conservative talk show king, announced this week that he's
ditching his New York digs and finding another alternate location for his
top-rated show in the wake of Gov. Paterson's "stupid, punitive, massive tax
increases."
"I'm going to get out of there totally, 'cause this is just absurd," railed
Limbaugh, who famously acknowledged an addiction to painkillers in October 2003.
Of Albany's proposed hikes, which will boost income taxes on households earning
more than $300,000 a year, El Rushbo said they were "punishing the achievers
for the mistakes... on the part of a bunch of corrupt politicians." ...
He also owns an apartment here - a 4,000 square-foot penthouse in a Fifth Ave.
building where similar units have recently sold for more than $10 million,
records show.
Limbaugh promised to sell the pad, but not before suggesting a new state slogan
to Paterson: "New York: It's Never Enough."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Rush To Failure
http://blogs.trb.com/news/opinion/chanlowe/blog/rush.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"As citizens we have to be more thoughtful and more educated and more informed.
I turn on the TV and I see these grown people screaming at each other, and I
think, well, if we don't get our civility back, we're in trouble."
- Emmylou Harris
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Rush has got ideas. He's got following. He believes in the conservative
principles that many of us believe in -- of lower taxes, or making sure that we
turn back towards a focus on entrepreneurialism in this country, to promoting
innovation and not stamping that out by overreacting, if you will, which this
town often does, to crisis."
- Rep. Eric Cantor [R-VA]
"On the day we learned that jobless claims rose to their highest levels in 26
years, Eric Cantor's charge that anyone is 'overreacting' to this economic
crisis typifies the Republican 'Just Say No' approach."
- Hari Sevugan, DNC Spokesman
*****************
Tent City: Inside Fresno's Taco Flat
http://www.hcn.org/articles/tent-city
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