"Maine became the fifth state to legalize gay marriage, after Governor Balducci signed a same-sex marriage bill into law. It's the best news for gays in Maine since L.L. Bean introduced a line of assless duck-waders." - Seth Meyers
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Crazy! They Makin' Us CRAZY!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWClPzovaq4 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Homosexuals have taken over every aspect of our culture!" ...translation: "There's nowhere safe to kill these fuckers anymore!" =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= The One-Liner Miner Republicans think children, box turtles and goats are all capable of consent.... It explains a lot, really. I was checking out on a really cute German Shepherd last week but didn't do anything about it for fear that she was just another bitch. When gay marriage is mandatory, I'm asking that new Mr. Spock out on a date.... just sayin'. If you marry someone with multiple personality disorder, is that polygamy? =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= They were only touching the tip of the iceberg as far as the legal nightmares go. Say a man and a bucket of KFC love each other very much. Following what they believe to be God's will for them, they marry. In the morning, the KFC is nowhere to be seen, and an empty bucket is hanging off the bedpost. Murder? Hmm? Not so simple, now, is it? =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Ayup.... http://cagle.com/working/090512/englehart.jpg =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "What a scandal we've had brewing here in the Golden State. You're not going to believe this, but Miss California, a beauty contestant, posed for naked pictures. Her fate was decided by Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant. Trump says Miss California can keep her crown. Actually, her trouble started when she stated her opposition to same-sex marriage. And after noting that even President Obama does not support same-sex marriage, Trump pointed out that he personally believes that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a series of progressively younger women." - Jimmy Kimmel =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= I Can't Look!!! http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=519935fba46043937573c41111023898 =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Donald Trump decided to let Miss California USA keep her crown. He even tried to help her make amends with the gay community by suggesting gays would love it if she experiments with his wife." - Pedro Bartes =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Donald Trump, co-owner of the Miss USA pageant, announced that Miss California Carrie Prejean, this year's runner-up for Miss USA who spoke out against "opposite marriage" at the pageant and had posed for semi-nude photographs for advertisements as a teenager, will be allowed to keep the crown and title of Miss California. For those of you planning to participate in the pageant world, here are a few ways that you can tell they might be coming for your crown: - Daily sash dispenser runs out but with no re-order slip this time - For the past week, a van marked "Tiara Repo" has been parked outside - Banner at your last event read "Wal-Mart Welcomes Former Miss Corn Princess" - Other contestants' mothers have stopped trying to kill you - No matter how much you keep vomiting, nobody cares that you are getting thinner - Nude pictures of you are circulating, but not on the Internet, just in Chevron rest rooms =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= She's A Role Model.... http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=86e42b6961e9392de7e5e471b7b210cd =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Those of you who are residents of California, you can stop stockpiling food and water. You can unlock your doors again. Miss California is keeping her crown! So California is no longer rudderless. We have a leader." - Jay Leno =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= MISS CALIFORNIA VOWS TO USE HER NAKED BREASTS FOR GOOD Fight Against Gay Marriage Will Be 'Tireless, Topless' Just moments after being told she could retain her beauty pageant crown, Miss California Carrie Prejean renewed her commitment to her mission, telling reporters, "From this day forward I promise I will use my naked breasts for good." Ms. Prejean blasted the critics whom she claimed tried to silence her for her views on gay marriage, saying, "I intend to fight back with the two greatest weapons I have: my naked boobies." The embattled pageant winner said she would be both "tireless and topless" in her efforts to fight same-sex unions. She added that she plans to tour the country to speak out against gay marriage and hopes to draw attention to the issue by displaying her naked torso wherever possible. "I will go anywhere, anytime, anyway to make my case," she said. "These breasts are made for walking." Ms. Prejean refused to answer questions about another controversial topic, enhanced interrogation techniques, but she did remark, "I have always been in favor of enhancement." Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant, praised Ms. Prejean for her fearlessness in the face of harsh criticism, adding, "I like what I've seen of Carrie and I hope to see much more of her." © Andy Borowitz borowitzreport.com =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Miss California believes marriage should be between a semi-nude man and a semi-nude woman." - Michael Feldman =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= Let's Hear It! http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=c0c59a490d1cd28e77addf8eba50245b =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Donald Trump announced today that Miss California gets to keep her crown Trump owns the Miss USA Pageant. So, he is second only to Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele for managing huge boobs." - Jerry Perisho =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= "Titties for Jesus!" - Miss California =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= BREAKING NEWS from PNN.news.com -- Gays are "unnatural", says bleached blonde part-silicone woman. PNN: Making you more informed and obnoxious than when you woke up. ************************************************************* © 2008 PBen News Network, Inc."We say it, you believe it." --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "WebTV Dawgs/Dittos" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/WebTV-Pals -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
