Ian Writes:
So what is this "only don't know" stuff?

Lol!  Is that a clever joke?  I think you've written a good koan:

The student asks, "what is this only-don't-know stuff?"
The master replies, "you have written me a letter, asking where you can
learn to write.  In your next letter describe to me the taste of an
orange.  Call your failed attempt an "Ode to the misuse of Knolwedge".

Its funny that for me, I was in a panic about knowing which stuff I
needed to know, given the huge body of knowledge in human history.  It
seemed a puzzle of, given limited life, selecting which pieces to use
and hoping my intellect was sufficiently trained to mesh the pieces
together and grasp the Ultimate Truth.  I walked around knowing the odds
were stacked against me -- but I knew I couldn't give up knowledge
because it seemed the only ticket out of this sometimes unhappy place.
However, once I recognized my first don't-know (for me it was
over-thinking how to breathe and fucking it up even worse) and I
realized a new side of existence.  I had created a monologue of
knoweldge describing everything I encountered, via prediction,
psychology, entropy, physiological knowledge of thinking, etc -- and of
course I knew I hadn't grasped the ultimate truth because this narration
was a pathetic attempt at descrbing a taste of an orange.  Now the
don't-knows far outweight the knows, dwarfing my collection of smart
things to think into a small pathetic pile.  I know knowledge (having
experienced it) and I know I've eaten an orange.  I don't-know what an
orange tastes like.  If im interested I will eat one for a reminder.

I thought when I reached the boundary of knowledge I would find an
Ultimate Truth, or at least have a lot of people kiss my ass for taking
the human endeavor a step further.  Once I realized I'd been stomping
all over the 'boundary' inside and out, and claiming I couldn't see any
of my foot prints in the don't-knows, I then got a whole chunk of life
given back to me from myself. My horizone expanded to have both
knoweldge and lack-of-knowledge.  I can't even quite remember what made
me think knowledge was more important then everything else in living...
I suppose I was pretty unahppy then, and the knoweldge did work quite a
bit.  I just forgot to put it down after the storm passed.

(obviously I like talking about my little discoveries... It takes my
mind off the fact that my hairs on fire :)

Rod Scholl 




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