Re: [CML] Pat's Update

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 19:17:11 -0700

Pat, Please don't feel like you are a bother. We are all in the same boat and any of life's big shortcomings or small are important. I will keep your son in my prayers. Drug addiction can be a painful experience for all in the family. Hang in there and don't give up. Remember, tough love.
 
CML mom. Mary Ann

Patricia <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hello to all my CML Family...

Just wanted to let everyone know I am feeling much better. My
depression is slowly fading away thanks to an increase in my lexapro
and therapy. With everything else going on in my life, my son going to
jail nearly did me in. I've been having panic attacks for quite some
time and they became worse with his incarceration. I just had these
panicky feelings that what if I died before he got out...or what if
someone inside the jail got to him. I know that probably sounds crazy
but Lord knows it is the truth. While I can't truly say I am happy he
is in jail...but in one way it has been a blessing...it got him away
from the pill addiction that was destroying his life so in a sense, it
was a sort of detox for him. He swears on his life that just this one
month he has served has made him a changed person...and I'm sure the
months to come will bring even more change...I pray it does. He comes
up for a review in a month and a half and maybe...just maybe he will
be released with time served. He has a loving, kind heart but he just
has some emotional problems that he just hasn't discovered how to deal
with yet and he found that the pills he was taking relieved him of the
pain...but I think he realizes now that it is not a cure...just a
temporary cover-up. He is somewhat shy and has very low self esteem,
and has trouble coping with the fact that he is not like everyone else
in certain ways. He has ADD among other problems and just can't seem
to stay focused. I've took him several books and it took him 2 weeks
to read one average size paperback. If there is not total
silence...and he cannot stay focused, he has to read paragraphs over
and over to even know what he read. He is an excellent speller and
during school always competed in the county and state spelling
competitions. It's been a long struggle. Anyway, I realize this is a
site for us to discuss CML, and I apologize for getting off track some
times but this is my life...my story and I struggle with more than CML
on a daily basis and I find myself very comfortable sharing it with my
new (CML) family. I just hope that sharing my experiences might help
someone else who reads my posts...maybe someone else out there is
going through the same thing and just doesn't want to talk about it.
Anyway, if you get tired of hearing about my problems, or feel I am
way off base.... Rob or any of the members, just tell me. I will not
be offended!

OK...now for the good part...I went to see my doctor last Thursday,
and my numbers were (and I may not have enough zeros or too many in
here, didn't get a printout, forgot, duh) but the doctor wrote it on a
slip of paper and handed it to me....0000037. He says this is
excellent and I can now come to see him every 2 months instead of
every month. Is this the norm or does everyone still go once a month?
I'm so excited and feel so blest. He also gave me my script for my
pain meds that my primary doctor could no longer write. I did not
realize how much pain I really was in until I had nothing to take. The
bone and joint pain at times had me in tears. I took more ibuprofen in
that month I had nothing else to take than I have in my whole life.
Thank you Jesus for a caring, understanding doctor. I also discussed
with him that I thought since the leukemia was better...I should have
a stronger immune system and that the bone pain should be better. He
says I am one of the unlucky ones who responds to the Gleevec the way
I do, as far as side effects. I was sick for a month with bronchitis
and I'm still not completely over it. He thinks my lungs are weakened
from years of heavy smoking...and according to my medical records over
the years and even as a child, that being premature weighing 3lbs at
birth (in the year 1962)...may have played some part in my health in
general. I kept a cold, or flu when I was a child and missed lots of
school.

Anyway...I guess I've rambled long enough...sorry! Someone please post
and tell me if my numbers are good as the doc says...and about the
doctor visits...how often? My prayers are with you all at all times.
Thank you "ALL" for your continous support,guidance, knowledge,
friendship and kindness. I don't know what I would do without you.
Love, Peace, Hope & Prayers, Pat




Wishing you all a bright & blessed Spring!
Love, Mary


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