On 10/15/2016 03:34 AM, William Hale wrote:
> On Fri, 14 Oct 2016 19:35:21 -0700
> Aaron Wolf <aa...@snowdrift.coop> wrote:
> 
>> ```
>> With a road blocked by a snowdrift, everyone wants it cleared, but
>> nobody wants to do it all themselves. Of course, nothing gets done if
>> each of us waits for others to do the work.
> 
> I think explaining the road imagery is important and should be
> included. I mean we need to answer the "why" this stuff needs to be
> fund somehow and that has always been a good hook.
> 

I think we have to accept that my longer initial explanation is the good
thorough one that answers all the common questions and clarifies like a
great, clear lecture. We just won't have time to make it right now for
the launch, so we'll go with the shorter one.

>>
>> That's an example of the PUBLIC GOODS PROBLEM where we fail to
>> cooperate enough to support resources that benefit everyone.
> 
> Only need to reference / keyword once.
> 
>>
>> Public goods can also be things like music, software, movies, news,
>> research…  We'd all love to get these things for free with no
>> limitations. But then how could we fund their development in the first
>> place?
> 
> I'm not sure that "free from limitations" gets the point across.
> 
>>
>> At Snowdrift.coop, we've created a new crowdmatching system to fund
>> these types of projects while keeping them as free and open public
>> goods.
> 
> Free and open needs to be used only once and explained in a near by
> sentence.
> 

I really like it in the earlier sentence, so if we don't want the term
twice, can you suggest a fully adequate substitute wording for one or
the other case that still carries the meaning? I think if not, we accept
there's some good about reinforcing it anyway.

>>
>> When supporting projects here, you don't risk volunteering alone, and
>> there's no hyped-up, all-or-nothing, one-time campaigns. You just
>> make a pledge that says, "l'll chip in a little more for each person
>> who joins me!" And because we calculate our crowdmatching donations
>> monthly, our system combines mutual assurance with sustainable
>> funding and accountability.
> 
> I would focus on two of the three or comma separate. This is the real
> meat, maybe cut the cat around it? Don't reuse keywords and get it to
> to like 30-45 seconds.
> 

Could you give specific example of what you're suggesting here?

> Otherwise, I liked the one you sent initially. It is pretty solid but
> will take a fair amount of animation to make it look good before
> attention wavers.
> 
> That being said, if this launch is really targetting
> the people who have been watching us for years, then this audio clip
> may make a better impression.
> 
> Thoughts?
> 
>>
>> Working together, we can clear the path to a free and open future for
>> everyone!
>> ```
>>
> 
> Use the tagline here, "Crowdfunding for Public Goods".
> 
> 
> I really do like the longer version and think it might hit home with
> the long-term supporters.
> 
> Mray, what do you think could be done to illustrate it?
> 
> Wolftune and chreekat, be safe if the weather kicks up!
> 
> 
> 
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