On 9/16/2012 9:29 AM, Craig Weinberg wrote:
Background: After refusing to serve Bruno's brother in law with the
simulated brain at my restaurant, I decide to make peace by inviting
myself to go along with Brother in law B1ll to his favorite restaurant.
Check out the Matrix version of this story:
"It's the best in the city!", says B1ll.
"That sounds great, because I am really hungry.", I reply anxiously.
When we arrive we find a dark, silent building, full of empty seats.
B1ll gestures for me to sit which I do and, it suddenly sounds like a
restaurant. I hear sizzling and clanking for the kitchen and suddenly
a waiter appears, offering me a menu. Just as I notice that the waiter
bears a curious resemblance to Bruno, I wonder why he has not given
B1ll a menu too.
"I've already ordered", says B1ll.
I look down at the menu, but I see only one item on it. It is called
"The thing that you want to order". Wow. This is impressive. I look up
and notice that what the waiter's nametag says.
"Ok, Brun-0, you win. I'll have a number not-not-one, with everything
"Coming right up, monsieur. Would you like Löbian salad or Gödelian
soup with that? The umlauts are excellent this time of year"
"Voila", Brun-0 exclaims.
Seeing the confusion on my face, he gestures at the menu in my hand
with a gracefully circular extension of his fingers, over and over,
rotating in space hypnotically, until I realize that he wants me to
turn the menu over.
On the back of the menu is a beautiful HD video screen, which pops
into life with a movie of someone sitting at...Hey!! It's Me!
It's a movie of me, rendered so perfectly it looks absolutely real. I
am being served a giant silver domed platter, which is removed to
unveil a beautiful...menu. The camera pans down the gorgeous menu of
sumptuous sounding descriptions of food. As the camera zooms into a
closeup on the calligraphy, it can be seen that each culinary turn of
phrase is constructed of beautifully written formulas and equations
like G and Gp where p is delicious and G = emulated gustatory resource
and p = Non-regurgitation parameters'.
To my surprise, I now witness myself in the movie pick a fork and
knife and begin eating the menu and thoroughly enjoying every bite. I
seem to be making the exact yummy sounds and faces that I would expect.
Turning to B1ll, I ask,
"What did you order?"
"I already ate.", he replies.
As I look down at my clean plate and remember the great meal that I
just had, I feel unusually satisfied. Curiously I can't remember
exactly what it was that I ate, but I no reason to care. I can't care.
I believe that I must have eaten exactly what I wanted.
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