Re: Question about Euthanasia and my Grace

[Kerry Roach]

Hi Nina,

I am so sorry to hear that Grace isn't responding...It is such a difficult decision to make, but like we all know...you will know the time and the signs...maybe it is a sign that your regular vet isn't here until Fri...for you to keep giving her the treats...and maybe that will give her some strength to eat something...I don't know if this will help, but if you have some dex give her some..it can relieve any pain/inflammation if she is having any...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Grace.

Kerry and Bandy

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Today's Topics:

1. Sulphur ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
2. Re: Question about Euthanasia and my Grace (Rachel)
3. Re: Question about Euthanasia and my Grace (Terri Brown)


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Message: 1
Date: Thu, 22 Sep 2005 15:29:29 EDT
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Sulphur
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Yes please Hideyo - thanks

Just out of interest - did you get the full thyroid test done or the basic
test?

Michelle, Minstrel, Buddy & Angel Bramble

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Message: 2
Date: Thu, 22 Sep 2005 12:34:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Rachel <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Question about Euthanasia and my Grace
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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I made that decision with my Butch.
It is very hard, but I firmly believe that when they have given up there is no need for anything to be dragged out. I almost wish people could have the option of euthanasia because I know some would take it.
Butch was having trouble breathing and had lost weight from not eating. The vet I took him to was very nice and good with both of us.
They didn't seem to have any problems and everything was over very quickly and peacefully.
If this is the decision you make, it will be the right one for both of you, and you certainly have the thoughts & support from everyone here.

Rachel

Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>wrote:
My Beloved Group,
First of all, I'm sorry I haven't been able to participate fully in the
group this last couple of weeks. I love you all, but for the last
couple of days, I haven't even been able bring myself to read the
posts. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted by Grace and my last
efforts to bring her back to health. Yesterday, I finally resigned
myself to thinking of our time together as 'death bed vigil'. Those of
you that know me, know that I pray all your babies are safe and healthy,
and those that are losing, or have lost the battle; my love is with
you. I don't know what I would have done without the love and support
of this group. You have been a Godsend to me and my sweet fur angels.

Yesterday morning Gracie "told" me she does not want to stay. Among
other signs, I was syringe feeding her and she refused to swallow. I'm
trying my best to make peace with her decision. I know you understand.
She hasn't eaten on her own for a long time now and she's skin and
bones. She spent a nice peaceful day, and I did my best to just "be
with her". During the afternoon she made it clear that she didn't want
to be sung to, or touched. It's so hard on me to watch her pull away.
At one point, she seemed a bit agitated so I ground up a tiny bit of
Valium and gave it to her in water. She was so relaxed she even did a
stretch-semi roll out on the patio in the sun. She did something that
startled me, and got my hopes up again. (I just can't stop believing in
miracles). I was giving the dogs treats and she was laying on the
couch. Well, we have this thing Grace and I. Whenever the dogs get
treats she'd come bounding over the barrier and expect one too. When
she saw me giving the dogs treats this afternoon, she jumped off the
couch. I started to cry, because I thought, there's no way she's going
to take a treat. I put one in front of her anyway and you could have
knocked me over with a sigh. It took her a minute to decide to eat it,
but she not only ate that one, but 3 more. Then she ate 3 or 4 pieces
of kibble! My hopes were short lived though.

I've been up with her most of the night. She still doesn't want my
attention. She doesn't even want me to look at her, it's breaking my
heart to say goodbye, and I guess it may be making it harder for her to
go, although that is not my intention. It's not like I don't want her
to leave her body, I do. I want her suffering to be over. Yesterday,
when I knew it was time, I called my Internist's office to see if Dr.
Ortega would be willing to help her cross. Grace has always liked Dr.
Ortega, and I thought she would be calmest with her. Well, my Internist
isn't going to be in the office until Friday. It doesn't seem possible
that Grace will still be here by then. My stance has always been, that
when I know it's the end, when I know that the chance of a recovery
after treatment isn't possible, then it's time to help them cross. Even
though Grace is peaceful, (she just lays on her side and breathes
shallow, but relaxed breaths), I have a hard time letting nature take
it's course. It's arrogant of me, but I can't stand seeing her like
this. I'm also so worried about her being in pain, when I look in her
eyes, she doesn't seem in pain, but she doesn't seem like herself
either. I wouldn't mind vacant, but it's almost like she's... not quite
angry, more like annoyed to still be here.

Just to let you know... Over the past week or so, I think I may have
mentioned it, we've been following an extensive homeopathic regime with
the help of a practitioner named Darla Palmer. While it didn't save
Grace, it did bring her back into her body, and for brief glorious
moments, back to me. It was such a joy to see the Grace I know and love
shining out of her eyes again.

Anyway, here's my question: Can anyone tell me how difficult it is to
put an animal to sleep in an emaciated condition? Of course, I don't
want to make things harder on her, I want to ease her suffering. What
if they can't find a vein, because they're so small? I just want to
know what to expect. I'm thinking of calling a house call vet to see if
he can come today, but I don't want this to be harder on Grace. I'm
still struggling with the thought that my underlying motives might be to
make things easier on me. I just want to do what's right for Grace. My
judgement is clouded, my mind and heart are clouded as well. I don't
even have the energy to read this post over to see if it makes sense.
Thanks for always caring,
Nina




Rachel

"Folk will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog" C. Doran





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Message: 3
Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2005 16:34:45 -0400
From: "Terri Brown" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Question about Euthanasia and my Grace
To:
Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

I know I am posting this late.

Darling Nina, the decision to euthanize is a personal one, but I will tell you my thoughts.

If Grace told you through the AC that she was okay with euthanasia, and if you know that she is not going to get better, and she has asked to leave, then I would euthanize.

I have hated each decision we have had to make regarding euthanasia. If the 6 cats I've lost since 1996, all but 2 of them were euthanized because that is what they wanted. I wanted them to stay with me forever, but I saw the suffering that they were going through, and I started to feel selfish about keeping them here.

Each time I have had to do this, I have been with my furkid. Each passing was smooth, peaceful, and pain free. Each time is just as emotionally painful for me and Dan as the time before, but we have never regretted our decision. When they're that sick, I am of the opinion that euthanasia is the last, final loving act that we can give them.

Only you can be the one to come to terms with what you are going to do. Listen to Grace. She will let you know when (and if) she is ready.

Great big hugs to you.

=^..^= Terri, Siggie the Tomato Vampire, Guinevere, Sammi, Travis, and 5 furangels: RuthieGirl, Samantha, Arielle, Gareth, Alec & Salome' =^..^=

Furkid Photos! http://mysite.verizon.net/vze7sgqa/
My FeLV Site: http://pages.ivillage.com/ruthiegirl1/MyFeLVinformationSite/
My Personal Page: http://www.geocities.com/ruthiegirl1/terrispage.html?1083970447350
----- Original Message -----
From: Nina
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2005 10:18 AM
Subject: Question about Euthanasia and my Grace


My Beloved Group,
First of all, I'm sorry I haven't been able to participate fully in the
group this last couple of weeks. I love you all, but for the last
couple of days, I haven't even been able bring myself to read the
posts. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted by Grace and my last
efforts to bring her back to health. Yesterday, I finally resigned
myself to thinking of our time together as 'death bed vigil'. Those of
you that know me, know that I pray all your babies are safe and healthy,
and those that are losing, or have lost the battle; my love is with
you. I don't know what I would have done without the love and support
of this group. You have been a Godsend to me and my sweet fur angels.

Yesterday morning Gracie "told" me she does not want to stay. Among
other signs, I was syringe feeding her and she refused to swallow. I'm
trying my best to make peace with her decision. I know you understand.
She hasn't eaten on her own for a long time now and she's skin and
bones. She spent a nice peaceful day, and I did my best to just "be
with her". During the afternoon she made it clear that she didn't want
to be sung to, or touched. It's so hard on me to watch her pull away.
At one point, she seemed a bit agitated so I ground up a tiny bit of
Valium and gave it to her in water. She was so relaxed she even did a
stretch-semi roll out on the patio in the sun. She did something that
startled me, and got my hopes up again. (I just can't stop believing in
miracles). I was giving the dogs treats and she was laying on the
couch. Well, we have this thing Grace and I. Whenever the dogs get
treats she'd come bounding over the barrier and expect one too. When
she saw me giving the dogs treats this afternoon, she jumped off the
couch. I started to cry, because I thought, there's no way she's going
to take a treat. I put one in front of her anyway and you could have
knocked me over with a sigh. It took her a minute to decide to eat it,
but she not only ate that one, but 3 more. Then she ate 3 or 4 pieces
of kibble! My hopes were short lived though.

I've been up with her most of the night. She still doesn't want my
attention. She doesn't even want me to look at her, it's breaking my
heart to say goodbye, and I guess it may be making it harder for her to
go, although that is not my intention. It's not like I don't want her
to leave her body, I do. I want her suffering to be over. Yesterday,
when I knew it was time, I called my Internist's office to see if Dr.
Ortega would be willing to help her cross. Grace has always liked Dr.
Ortega, and I thought she would be calmest with her. Well, my Internist
isn't going to be in the office until Friday. It doesn't seem possible
that Grace will still be here by then. My stance has always been, that
when I know it's the end, when I know that the chance of a recovery
after treatment isn't possible, then it's time to help them cross. Even
though Grace is peaceful, (she just lays on her side and breathes
shallow, but relaxed breaths), I have a hard time letting nature take
it's course. It's arrogant of me, but I can't stand seeing her like
this. I'm also so worried about her being in pain, when I look in her
eyes, she doesn't seem in pain, but she doesn't seem like herself
either. I wouldn't mind vacant, but it's almost like she's... not quite
angry, more like annoyed to still be here.

Just to let you know... Over the past week or so, I think I may have
mentioned it, we've been following an extensive homeopathic regime with
the help of a practitioner named Darla Palmer. While it didn't save
Grace, it did bring her back into her body, and for brief glorious
moments, back to me. It was such a joy to see the Grace I know and love
shining out of her eyes again.

Anyway, here's my question: Can anyone tell me how difficult it is to
put an animal to sleep in an emaciated condition? Of course, I don't
want to make things harder on her, I want to ease her suffering. What
if they can't find a vein, because they're so small? I just want to
know what to expect. I'm thinking of calling a house call vet to see if
he can come today, but I don't want this to be harder on Grace. I'm
still struggling with the thought that my underlying motives might be to
make things easier on me. I just want to do what's right for Grace. My
judgement is clouded, my mind and heart are clouded as well. I don't
even have the energy to read this post over to see if it makes sense.
Thanks for always caring,
Nina


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