> I keep meaning to write a detailed C&C of this, and time keeps slipping
> away.
Well, as you can see, this is constantly a work in progress, and i've
gotta make a lot of other fixes for this chapter, so no hurry ^_^...
>
> So, before its been too long, I just want to give some quick comments.
>
> The new scene was awesome. As you've been reposting the reworked
> chapters, this has been my favorite so far. The other reviewer was
> right, it even retroactively made the last chapter (which was a bit more
> than pretty decent in it's own right) even better.
I'm still a little hazy on how the 'retroactive' thing works, but
lately a lot of folks have been telling me this. I get the feeling
that, because Suiren is composed of a bunch of 'scenes' that don't
always flow together smoothly, it would probably work better as a
single, long chapter. I intentionally chop off one scene and show
resolution (or post-resolution) in a later, non-adjacent scene all the
time -_-;...
I'm pleased that the new scene seems to work, though ^_^. That's one
less thing i need to worry about...
>
> I've noticed this, actually. You do really, really well at conversation.
> Most fanfic authors can't manage to have two characters just sit down
> and chat and make it utterly engrossing. The more your characters are
> talking, the more awesome the scene is.
>
> William
Eheh... perhaps the secret is that i _despise_ expository prose, so i
try to weave it into dialogue. It's better for the characters to tell
the reader things they need to know than for me to do it. It also
probably helped in this case because i was trying to feel out Ino as a
character, both in her relationship to Sakura and just as herself.
Before writing this scene, Ino wasn't really firmed up in my mind very
well. For better or for worse, Suiren is about the characters more
than it is about the events, so i guess i sort of lean more towards
character interaction than action or drama ^_^;...
~Eimii
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