> LONG overdue C&C! Sorry! ^^;;
Don't apologize yet; my C&C for Moonshadow may be even longer in coming >_<;...
Incidentally, did you get the chapter before this? It was posted way
back when this list first came up...
>
> > Spoiler and Continuity Warning: Once again, a chapter without
> > spoilers! And since we're firmly in AU continuity now, i may have to
> > come up with a new warning to replace this one...
>
> How about "Chikan Warning: Do not stare directly into Haruno Sakura's
> crotch, however tempting it may be"?
I don't think there's any way to avoid it, though, considering that
her crotch appears in just about every chapter...
>
> > Desperately, she
> > searched for the narrow side-fissure that she'd noticed earlier. Maybe
> > if she hid in there, that- that _thing_ wouldn't be able to find her.
>
> The purple ninja hippo? The one that keeps popping out of every
> inconceivable nook and cranny? "Did you get that..._thing_ I sent ya?"
Uuuh... O_o;... no, this is something... else...
>
> > In her gut, Temari knew there was no escape, but her legs wouldn't
> > stop. The blood roaring in her ears drowned out even the sound of her
> > own footfalls, but she could still hear Kankuro's screams. Was it in
> > her mind, or was he still screaming? She didn't know; she didn't want
> > to know.
>
> Sure, Temari, leave your poor brother behind to be anally raped by foreign
> shinobi...or demon raccoons...
Yeah, that!
>
> > Moving over to the sink in the corner of the room, Temari washed her
> > hands and face, leaving the bedpan where it lay; they'd let her use a
> > proper toilet if she asked.
>
> The only catch is they'd videotape her doing it.
Well, of course... but they're videotaping everything else she does,
and using a toilet is probably less awkward than using a bedpan...
>
> > Exactly ten minutes later, like clockwork, there was a knock on her
> > cell door. Turning away, Temari placed her hands in the two red
> > circles on the wall, spreading her legs and positioning her feet in a
> > pair of identical circles on the floor.
>
> ASSUME RAPE POSITION!
...pretty much -_-;
>
> > She wasn't subjected to the routine pat-down and room-tossing ritual
> > this morning,
>
> Just the ra---okay, I'll stop now.
In some other ninja villages, this is probably very much the case...
>
> > because of complacency. This one seemed far too sharp for that, and
> > unless she was mistaken, he was a member of the Hyuuga clan.
>
> "I can see your VDs."
Can they O_o;?
>
> > blonde's lips as her jailer gave a helpless shrug. "I didn't think
> > you'd go for that, but it you're taking requests, I've got a message
> > you can pass along..."
>
> "I don't think that's anatomically possible."
Ah, but it's a _dream_...
>
> > "Why would it hurt?" Sakura growled, her voice husky and dripping with
> > sarcasm. "After all, you only set my _ass_ on _fire_!"
>
> H_H KINKY!!
Again, ass+fire=win! ...for someone.
>
> > she muttered in a small, guilty voice. Reaching for her water, Sakura
> > shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She was wearing an un-zipped gray
> > hoodie over her favorite red dress today, but the black exercise
> > shorts she normally wore were absent,
>
> As were her underwear...
...
>
> and from the way she kept
> > adjusting the hem of her dress, it almost looked like...
> >
> > "Sakura, are you wearing anything under that?"
>
> XD!! ... H_H *nosebleed*
You called it. :P
>
> Ino asked, making a
> > face. "That's pretty daring. It took you long enough to graduate out
> > of those kiddy panties, but you really should wear _something_. You're
> > gonna give people the wrong idea."
>
> I *LIKE* the wrong idea H_H
There are probably a lot of people in Konoha that wouldn't object either...
>
> > "S-shut up!" Sakura sputtered, coloring. "It's your fault!
> > _Everything_ rubs!" she hissed, looking around to make sure nobody
> > else had heard. "The damn burn cream leaves stains on my panties, too.
>
> "That's not *burn* cream, Sakura-chan. You really ought to tell Gai-sensei
> and Kakashi-sensei to wear condoms..."
...eeew.
>
> > I got sick of it; it doesn't really hurt anymore, anyway. It just
> > _itches_..."
>
> Seven-year itch?
That one's a bit of a stretch, there ^_^;.
>
> > When Sakura returned her gaze to the blonde girl, Ino was pleased to
> > see that all trace of guilt had vanished from Sakura's fiery green
> > eyes. "I can't believe you used a fucking exploding tag on me!"
>
> Wow, it didn't just explode and set fire to her butt, it FUCKED her too?
> That's some weapon! H_H
I have very little doubt that such a weapon could exist in Naruto...
and Sakura will probably invent it.
>
> > Sakura had probably gotten that vile tongue from Shikamaru's stupid
> > dad.
> ...............................
>
> NOT. EVEN. GOING. THERE.
Heheheh...
>
> > Usually, Sakura went back to normal after she'd had a chance to vent a
> > bit, but it seemed that anger wasn't the only thing that could Sakura
> > make go insane; as Ino had discovered, a horny Sakura was even more
> > dangerous than an angry Sakura.
>
> WE MUST TEST THIS THEORY H_H
Wait until you see the next chapter >_<;...
>
> > Ino hated beating around the bush,
>
> so she made Sakura sha--
>
> Okay okay, I admit that one's pushing it.
Yeaaaaah... just a little...
> > Hemming
> > uncertainly, Sakura stared down at the table. "I _have_ been studying,
> > but mom wouldn't like it if she knew where."
>
> The bathhouse? The teahouse? The whorehouse?
More like the slaughterhouse; all of those other places are where
_normal_ kunoichi go to train. Just ask Kurenai...
>
> > "Oh, come on; you know you love that stuff," Ino teased, grinning.
> > "'Haruno Sakura, Super Research Ninja!' Poor, lonely ol' Yomiko-san at
> > the library is your biggest fan."
>
> *DIES* GOOD ONE!!
It seemed to fit ^_^.
>
> > "Iiinoo-chaaan!" Sakura whined, looking even more pathetic as a tiny
> > frown pinched her lips beneath those twin, lantern-like orbs of
> > infinite sadness.
>
> Awwwwwwwwww.
There's a trick to these demon puppy-dog eyes, though. An evil and
potentially unfortunate trick...
>
> > "Riiight- pretty kinky, Ino-chan; I know you like to be in control,
> > but never would've guessed you were into _bondage_..."
>
> Yeah, Ino's usually more into bandage, not bondage.
...great, now the image of 'Ino as Rei' is stuck in my mind -_-;.
>
> > *Dammit, did I fall asleep?* She must have slipped into a food-induced
> > coma after her ruinous lunch with Ino. Sakura couldn't recall the last
> > time she'd eaten so much meat in one sitting; it was almost obscene.
>
> *opens mouth to make a perverted comment, thinks better of it, shuts up*
Sometimes it a little _too_ easy with this fic, yes? ^_^;
>
> > studying, but the words were smudged beyond recognition by a warm,
> > sticky puddle that had formed by her mouth.
>
> *opens mouth to make a perverted comment, thinks better of it, shuts up*
See above.
>
> > *Crap, Monkey-Man! I gotta hide this!*
>
> ...from a HYUUGA?
Well, she realized the futility of it, but he _did_ say that there was
some sort of 'X-Ray Vision Etiquette' involved...
>
> > Clearing his throat, Yoshinari glanced down at his clipboard. "In any
> > event, I'll try harder to get you some professional help-
>
> *SNRK*
>
> Also, I imagine there's a lot of cold showers in store for poor
> monkey-man...
Well, he _could_ be happily married... or gay...
>
> > As she accepted the page, Sakura's gaze lingered on the seals of
> > approval at the bottom. It was kind of disturbing that Yoshinari
> > carried around a generic order of summons that could be countermanded
> > only by vote of the village council or by the Hokage himself.
>
> Goes with the job, I guess.
Perhaps, but it's still a scary amount of power in a little yellow
slip of paper...
>
> > "Did they teach you how to do this?" Yoshinari asked, holding the
> > paper flat on his upturned palm. Sakura gaped in awe as it suddenly
> > began folding itself. In a few seconds, a perfect origami crane sat
> > cradled in his hand.
>
> O_o;; That's...eerily similar to the pre-prep training for Rasengan. @_@
I suppose it is similar, though the Rasengan training seems more
geared toward learning to control broad, continuous motions of large
forces, rather than short, precise motions of small forces.
>
> > "No roughhousing in the library!" a stern voice called from the end of
> > the room, and in an instant Naruto found himself spinning out of
> > control as the scrolls on the shelves all around him came to life,
> > wrapping him in a cocoon paper as hard as steel.
>
> Heheheh.
>
> More C&C to come on the next chapter...
Wa~i!
~Eimii
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