SD, self - image is not only in respect of the environment.

It is a constant. We cannot avoid having and living with one, wherever
and whenever. The rest follows : whether in truth or in fantasy,
manipulative or manipulated !

On Jan 2, 1:04 am, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote:
> I agree wholly as the parental influence is greatly overlooked as
> being a integral part of the image formation. I know my parents could
> never understand the philosophy of self image and the influence, or
> lack of, they had upon it.  Only mom is left anyway and she doesn't
> really know what day it is.  But on track, it could only be the
> discovery of this tidbit of information that could lead a person down
> the path of self image realization and modification based upon true
> self awareness.  I feel a strong correlation between this thread and
> the Golden Shadow thread (another Molly wonder).  We cannot change the
> outward projection without recognizing what lies in the shadow. This
> recognition allows us to weed out that which we know is not our true
> being and without it we continue to waver in the sea of
> possibilities.
> Personally I feel self image coincides with and is pertinent to the
> life that we are living at the time. Our age, environment,
> circumstances all contribute to our self image. There may have been
> times where self image mattered not but new environs awaken the need
> to (re)establish our self image. ie: The image of a playboy doesn't
> cut it in the nursing home, nor does the image of a sultry sex
> kitten.  The complexity increases as we further delve into the
> perspectives of self image.  It seems to me that self image must
> change with time and the parameters of life changes. For those who
> live their lives from birth to death in the same house, the same town
> with unchanging environs have little to no need to examine self image
> for it fits comfortably within their life circumstance. Those whose
> live change often must often change their self image.
>
> On Jan 1, 10:31 am, gruff <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Lon, Archy, I can confidently vouch for your proposition that we never
> > fully comprehend ourselves and for everyone else's points about self
> > image as well.  Molly, as usual you have come up with another
> > pertinent observation about the human condition and started one more
> > excellent discourse.
>
> > As a living example of the effects self-image can have on one's own
> > life as well as on the lives of those whom I interact, I am also of an
> > age where I can be more honest about myself then heretofore permitted,
> > and I have to say that I'm sorely disappointed with the entire dynamic
> > of self-image -- not with it's reality but rather with how it has
> > played itself out in my own particular instance.
>
> > Such dangerous tools should be kept out of the hands of those ill-
> > equipped to play with them.  The complete genesis of self image may be
> > mostly hidden but I'd be willing to bet a large sum a vast majority of
> > it has to do with family, particularly ones' parents and siblings.
>
> > Self image may in some ways rely on genetics but I believe the vast
> > majority of it is instilled in us during our single digit youth which,
> > like marriage -- for better or worse -- we carry forward into whatever
> > pathways we travel in life, trailing its detritus behind us.
>
> > Parts of our self image including how we feel about ourselves are
> > readily apparent in our external behavior, which makes us more
> > transparent to others than to ourselves until we reach that point of
> > development where we can begin to look at ourselves more honestly.  I
> > went through most of my life knowing something was terribly wrong but
> > lacked the ability to figure out what.  At least till I began to
> > indulge in therapy.
>
> > But even now, many years later, there are still deep aspects of my
> > self image which are hidden from me or which I refuse to see and
> > acknowledge.  Perhaps long term deep psychotherapy might uncover them
> > but that's an impractical approach for many reasons, not the least of
> > which is the fact that I've come to distrust most psychological
> > therapists.  It's a profession that seems to lay a deadly trap for
> > it's pratitioners.  I can imagine listening to the deepest and darkest
> > parts of others day after day after year after year takes its toll,
> > but on the other hand some of these people are fairly twisted
> > beforehand which likely led them into the profession of psychology.
>
> > But honestly determining your own self image is at least as daunting
> > as trying to overcome the psychologically habitual behavior that stems
> > from those deeply buried images.  On a personal level I know some of
> > the self image I learned as a child -- that I was worthless, no-good,
> > evil, and would never amount to anything -- and how much that image
> > played itself out over the course of my life.  It was extensive and is
> > still being played out.
>
> > Yet I also know there are parts of my self image to which I am not
> > privy.  They may be worse or they may be better than those I've
> > uncovered but the fact they are there disturbs me because it means I
> > do not have full control over my own psyche and life.  I am still
> > reacting to thoughts, ideas, images and beliefs that were instilled in
> > me by a dysfunctional family and of which to this day I know little to
> > nothing.
>
> > This early self image worked to prevent me from developing any
> > positive feelings about myself.  From as young as I can remember
> > through sixty eight years to today I still reverberate those early
> > images and add to them in my own prophetically self-fulfilling and
> > self-perpetuating behavior which is then reinforced further by the
> > reactions from others appropriate to my own self-image.
>
> > I long to know myself as I truly am but this still eludes me.  Perhaps
> > it is one of those things one learns at the end as one's life flashes
> > before one's eyes -- unfortunately a bit too late to do anything about
> > it.  Or perhaps not.  But one thing is certain -- to me at least -- as
> > parents each and every one of us have a critical responsibility to
> > ensure our children have a healthy image of themselves upon which to
> > build.  But as long as we remain dysfunctional within ourselves how
> > can we teach our children different?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
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