Precisely, Molly ! I couldn't have said it better.
On May 4, 5:41 pm, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote:
> I think I understand and I do appreciate your words here Vam. We all,
> each of us, deserve to be surrounded by those that love us
> unconditionally, and allow us to be who we are as we evolve and
> awaken. The key for me has been to provide this to those around me. I
> have found that in doing so, I am surrounded by folks who can love in
> the same way. This does not mean that I allow myself to be exploited
> or abused, because I think that a part of unconditional love is
> bringing such behavior by the other to light, and then moving away
> from it, allowing the other to learn or not. There are times when
> compassion is enough and the relationship becoming peripheral is in
> perfect order. Your unconditional love then includes honesty,
> appreciation and psychological safety for all. These can be provided
> through deep intimacy or great distance. There is a grace that leads
> the way.
>
> On May 4, 12:49 am, Vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > " Affection, in all forms, is an extremely valuable and important part
> > of the relationship to me ... "
>
> > And Grace, both while giving to and receiving from ... But, valuable
> > and important as they are, these are still the atmospherics. The
> > crucial part is the quality of ' being ' individuals sense within
> > themselves, and the opportunity they have to ' be ' themselves, to
> > grow and evolve and continue to transform the ' I - Space ' within to
> > greater sense of strength, happiness, freedom and self - discovery.
>
> > We are all striving for that rich and pregnant ground of ' I - space '
> > in which our finitude dissolves. The others are important to us, in
> > this context, for the atmospherics they cause or contribute to. It can
> > aid or mar the ' awakening.'
>
> > We each love the other, for the love of our Self !
>
> > ( I waited long before punching the ' Send ' button, wondering if what
> > I'm posting makes any sense. Even, if it is appropriate ? )
>
> > On May 4, 7:57 am, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > I think (a very necessary disclaimer in topics such as these) that the
> > > secret may be to only require commitment from your partner, to continue
> > > to freely be who you are, and expect the same from them, and to strive
> > > for the happy balance of compromise and acceptance in the places where
> > > friction inevitably occurs. Sometimes we align ourselves with partners
> > > who have drastically different life goals, and that's simply not
> > > possible. Other times our partners, or we ourselves, are in a self
> > > destructive place which is simply not conducive to a healthy
> > > relationship. If, however, we are both aligned similarly, and both
> > > committed to that goal, then a zen state of love, where it is not
> > > questioned, but simply is, seems to me to be the path to a long term
> > > bliss.
>
> > > If everyday, despite the day I've had, I make the effort to express some
> > > portion of Eros energy to my partner, even if in no other form than text
> > > message, I've "been", in the zen sense, affirmed the love, made it be by
> > > being it. When that is affirmed in reply, that circle is completed. The
> > > actual physical expenditure of the ritual is miniscule, yet the effect is
> > > powerful.
>
> > > Affection, in all forms, is an extremely valuable and important part of
> > > the relationship to me, which Is just one of the many ides of Love I
> > > inherit from my Father. He's still married to my Mom, and from all
> > > appearances, still in love with her in an Eros kind of way. :-D It's a
> > > strong archetype to have in your head of what a long term love can be. I
> > > can't imagine the idea of my Father being unfaithful to my Mom. It's
> > > inconceivable to me.
>
> > > It strikes me Neil that one of the problems with Love is that most of the
> > > wisdom about it doesn't come until our later years, and many of us either
> > > don't have a proper Sage around, or are a bit too damn fool hardy in our
> > > youths to listen if we do.
>
> > > [ Attached Message ]From:archytas <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds
> > > Eye\"" <[email protected]>Date:Sun, 3 May 2009 18:30:21 -0700
> > > (PDT)Local:Mon, May 4 2009 6:30 amSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What is the
> > > nature of Love?
>
> > > There is some thinking that love is over-stated and leads to over-
> > > expectation, perhaps rather strangely making loving relationship more
> > > difficult than it needs to be. Raising any of us fallible humans to a
> > > golden pedestal is to put whoever it is before a fall. One can
> > > certainly be loving and it appears this can be reciprocal, though I'd
> > > expect this to be less than perfect or bound in mutual illusions.
> > > Freedom from exploitation seems key to me, along with some form of
> > > understanding on equality. I can say that I wish I had been better
> > > able to enjoy sex earlier in my life through some decent education
> > > about it.
>
> > > On 4 May, 01:07, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > Exactly, trust is essential to the bond, it is the adhesive quality
> > > > that transforms two into one. The bond can be broken and repaired but
> > > > it forever has the crack that remains a visible detraction and
> > > > possibly a perpetual doubt which can fester at anytime under testing
> > > > situations, such as out of town overnight business meetings or the
> > > > introduction of a past friend, literally anything can set off the
> > > > process of relationship erosion. I can only wish that everyone would
> > > > find that special soul mate and live happily ever after.
>
> > > > On May 3, 3:54 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > I agree completely about fidelity. For some, a dip in another pool
> > > > > provides added excitement...but for me, it cracks the foundation of
> > > > > the love I have, irreparably, no matter which person is to blame.
> > > > > Trust is key for me, and without faithfulness, there is no trust.
>
> > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:Slip Disc <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds
> > > > > Eye\"" <[email protected]>Date:Sun, 3 May 2009 12:48:43
> > > > > -0700 (PDT)Local:Sun, May 3 2009 2:48 pmSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What
> > > > > is the nature of Love?
>
> > > > > It must be Chris being that you posted twice on it, lol, thanks.
>
> > > > > I might add that much of my feelings at this point are based on the
> > > > > fact that she is without exception my best friend in the world. The
> > > > > monogamy issue for me is moot as I would hurt as much as she would,
> > > > > and mutually so. I guess in that sense the love factor reveals itself
> > > > > to be the core driven emotion that keeps us together. When that
> > > > > emotion is present, the thought of infidelity never enters the mind.
> > > > > Love, being faithful, gives relationships integrity and provides a
> > > > > sound platform on which to continue building. Newly founded
> > > > > relationships or marriages are like a complete white circle that
> > > > > accumulates black spots for each little transgression, larger spots
> > > > > for more serious infractions. As time goes by the circle may seem
> > > > > more black than white and the imbalance weighs heavier on the side of
> > > > > failure due to the loss of integrity, eventually with nothing left the
> > > > > relationship collapses. We can fantasize all we want about how much
> > > > > greener the grass is on the other side but truth is it takes mutual
> > > > > effort no matter where the grass is. I would venture to guess that
> > > > > there is that one perfect soul mate relationship out there waiting for
> > > > > us to find it, that being the hardest part of it all.
>
> > > > > On Apr 29, 11:45 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > I think this is my favorite post from you ever, Slip.
>
> > > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:Slip Disc <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds
> > > > > > Eye\"" <[email protected]>Date:Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:24:10
> > > > > > -0700 (PDT)Local:Wed, Apr 29 2009 11:24 pmSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re:
> > > > > > What is the nature of Love?
>
> > > > > > I don't know that I could identify with true love anymore, not in
> > > > > > the
> > > > > > way I did 40 years ago when the heart was expendable for the sake of
> > > > > > the other, when self didn't matter and all the other feelings we
> > > > > > have
> > > > > > when "Love" takes over. Sometimes I wish I could have been more the
> > > > > > way I am today back then as it would have saved many of my hearts
> > > > > > and
> > > > > > dollars. Now I could care less for it, though I do have some spurts
> > > > > > of it. Considering that I've told my wife several times that upon
> > > > > > winning the big lotto I would set her up with whatever she wanted
> > > > > > and
> > > > > > that I was chao chao bambino, whether I would follow through with
> > > > > > that
> > > > > > is another story, I may never want to leave her. I do have a great
> > > > > > deal of love for her and I do call it love but it's not what it
> > > > > > should
> > > > > > be I guess, not sure. She is a great woman in a lot of ways, I will
> > > > > > take care of her the best I can and protect her from anyone
> > > > > > intending
> > > > > > harm of any sort and kill if I had to, maybe that is the instinctive
> > > > > > male in me, I don't do Ghandi. I still lust after women in the
> > > > > > public
> > > > > > arena who flaunt their sensuality and camo their wily ways. However
> > > > > > I
> > > > > > couldn't imagine having a relationship with them beyond patronizing
> > > > > > passion and sometimes wonder if love is that thing in my mind or
> > > > > > that
> > > > > > thing in my pants. There are those that reveal a true sense of
> > > > > > sincerity beyond the physical and are as you say most worthy of true
> > > > > > love, but as you know, they can change.
> > > > > > These days I just simply say, My Love, whatever my capacity is to
> > > > > > love, that is how much I am capable of loving and you have all the
> > > > > > love I am capable of.
>
> > > > > > .......and no matter how many women I sleep with I always come home
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > you, Darlin!<<<Joke, Joke
>
> > > > > > On Apr 29, 9:31 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]>
> > > > > > wrote:> And no,this isn't a wide open generic
>
> ...
>
> read more »- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
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