Perhaps against my better judgement, I want to try to clear up a few things.

First of all, to characterize Ben's departure, or the whole recent drama,
as being over pronoun usage, is a radical oversimplification.

Every group has internal tensions, and ours is no different.  It is normal
and healthy for projects like Node to gradually cycle new members in and
out as people's interests, skills, and motivation shift over time.
 Remember that Ryan guy?  He sure wrote a lot of code.  When he left,
people said that Node wouldn't survive.  The tech press called it a "mic
drop", even though it was 6 months in the making (of course, how would they
know that Ryan and I worked closely for a long time planning his
departure?)  And yet, here we are.  People sometimes give me credit for
being his replacement, but that's really unfair praise.  When he left, we
suffered from that loss, and we just had to figure out how to carry on.
 Same for Igor, Felix, Paul, and all the rest who once were extremely
engaged and are now either watching from the sidelines, or not even
watching at all.  That's life, and growing pains suck for a little while,
but it's actually a sign of health.

Most of the time, we announce new project member additions, but do not
announce project members leaving.  Typically, leaving the project happens
gradually, and there's really no point making any kind of public
announcement about it.  This is the second time that we've done so.  (The
first was Ryan handing off the project lead spot to me.)  Ben made the
decision to leave, and publicly stated this on GitHub and in an email to
the core libuv team.  I wrote this message (and sent it only after getting
feedback from the rest of the team), because I felt that it was important
to call out the good things he's done for us and wish him the best.

Ben's done a ton of work on Node core and libuv, including writing code,
managing issues, reviewing patches, and mentoring newcomers.  For that, we
should all be thankful.  He's not a sexist or a bigot or a horrible person,
and perhaps after some time he'll be more involved with Node again.  Who
knows?  There was (and still is) a lot of negativity in the air, and the
best thing we can all do is let the dust settle, and move on.

This FUD around "What if you're the next Ben?!" is ridiculous.  It's a bit
like seeing someone break up with their significant other, and wondering if
you can be friends with them, since they are no longer with that other
person you also like.  "If he broke HER heart, he can break mine!"  But it
doesn't actually work that way.  Similarly with the complaints about how no
one spoke to Ben privately.  (Which is absurd on the face of it--how could
you even know what we said to one another in private?  That's how privacy
works!)

I understand that, from the outside, an event like this seems like it
happens in one flash, and certainly there were some rather sudden fireworks
last week.  But no one decides to join or leave a project overnight like
that.  Ben is a smart guy with many talents.  He'll do fine, I'm sure.

We all enjoy the addictive dopamine rush of conflict.  We all have opinions
about who did what wrong, and fears that they might do it to us.  Some
people will try to serve their own interests by fanning the flames to
generate press, or try to push the community in a direction that suits
them, or take a cheap shot at a project that they see as a threat to their
own.  The best thing we can do is keep calm and get back to what we were
doing.

The future is much bigger than the past.  Let's get to it.



On Fri, Dec 6, 2013 at 7:34 AM, Mihai Ene <[email protected]> wrote:

> Thank you Ben for your great contributions! We're sad this happened.
>
> 'nuff said
>

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