I liked the write up Flying Shoes Contra posted on their website regarding
what Roles would be used at their dance.
It explains that the board feels they must do what is in the long term
interest of the dance.

It explains what changes and what does not change with the role term
decision.

I understand the dance is in a rural area and is very well attended by all
ages.
Rob in Atlanta

https://belfastflyingshoes.org/role-terms-at-bfs-contras/
Role Terms at BFS Contras
July 23, 2020

All of the BFS board members take an active role in producing our events
and outreach programs, we have fiduciary responsibility for our nonprofit,
and we operate by consensus to make countless decisions about BFS. Some of
these decisions are trivial, some merely involve logistics, and some
require time for us to explore fully.

After extensive discussion and deliberation, the BFS board has decided to
retire the contra dance role terms Gents and Ladies*, in favor of the
gender-neutral terms Larks and Robins. We’ve come to believe that the new
terminology better represents our values as an organization, better
reflects the character of Belfast Flying Shoes dances, and offers us all an
opportunity to grow as contra dancers, individuals, and a community.

We officially adopted this decision at our March 8 meeting. We intended to
share the news in April or May, and planned to start using Larks and Robins
as the role terms at our June 5 contras (when BFS board member and
co-founder Chrissy Fowler would have been calling with the Gawler Family),
but those plans got waylaid. At our July 6 board meeting, we agreed that we
want to share our decision now, even though we don’t expect to be dancing
together for quite some time yet.

Why We’re Switching to Gender-Neutral Terminology for the Contras

   - It’s inclusive: Not all contra dancers identify as a gent or a lady;
   some identify differently than others expect. While “gents” and “ladies”
   may sound quaint or arbitrary to some of us, for others they carry a lot of
   cultural freight.
   - It reflects reality: Lots of Flying Shoes contra dancers are already
   comfortable dancing both roles.
   - It’s liberating: There’s no particular side you’re supposed to line up
   on; it depends on the role you’re dancing, and that choice is up to you and
   your dance partner.
   - It can make us all better dancers: Occasionally taking a less-familiar
   role allows us to see the dance through our partners’ eyes, helping us
   become more intuitive and responsive partners.
   - It’s fun: Dancing a less-familiar role is like stepping through the
   looking glass or driving on the opposite side of the road. It’s a fun
   challenge (like our own first contra dance experiences!), and that sort of
   thing is very good for your brain.
   - It’s totally flexible: If you’re most comfortable choosing the same
   role and lining up on the same side for every dance, feel free to do so.
   Same if you like to alternate your role throughout the evening. It’s all up
   to you and your dance partner.

What Changes

   - Contra callers will refer to the dancers on the Right of the dance
   couple as Robins and those on the Left as Larks.*
   - That’s all!

What Stays the Same as Before

   - Anyone can ask anyone else to dance.
   - Anyone is free to accept or decline an invitation to dance.
   - Each dance couple decides which dancer takes which role.
   - Each role is equally empowered to simultaneously lead & follow.
   - Both partners are equally responsible for ensuring that everyone ends
   up in the correct position, ready to dance with whomever they next meet in
   the set.
   - We’re here to have fun, and to help others have fun too.

This final point is an important one. Together, we create the joy of BFS
for ourselves and for others.

We look forward to our shoes flying–eventually!–and we also look forward to
stretching our Lark & Robin wings in flight.

With love,
BFS Board of Directors: Bruce Snider (president), Christina Barstow
(treasurer), Chrissy Fowler (secretary), Raelin Callahan, Alex Mann, and
Margo Burnham

** October 2022 – If you are accustomed to gent/lady role terms, but you
can’t remember where the gent and lady roles stand in relation to their
dance partner, whether at the beginning of a walk-through or after a swing,
the gent is left and the lady is right.*


On Tue, Oct 31, 2023 at 9:20 AM Emily Addison via Organizers <
organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> Chiming in from up in Ottawa way as both a caller and a long-time dance
> organizer.
>
> I feel pretty strongly that the organizers should take ownership and
> leadership in their community over the role terms that are used.  Leaving
> it to a caller, especially if visiting, is opening that caller up to lots
> of dancers who may have strong opinions in that community.  I don't feel
> that it's the caller's role to carry the weight of the role terminology
> discussion in a community.  It's the organizers that are doing all the
> other work and leaving it to the caller feels like a bit of a cop out to me.
>
> I do appreciate callers who engage with organizers to discuss the use of
> various role terms and increase the dialogue around this topic.  But just
> as messages about safe communities/dancing should be led by the organizers
> and not left just to the caller, so should be this piece about the role
> terms.
>
> Despite my strongish stated message, I am totally open to other
> ideas/perspectives on this. Just my two cents given my current perspective.
>
> Emily in Ottawa ON
>
> On Mon, Oct 30, 2023 at 6:00 PM Jerome Grisanti via Organizers <
> organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> In Louisville, the group advertises which terminology the caller will use
>> per each dance. There may be dancers with strong preferences who choose to
>> attend or not based on that information, but I suspect most are flexible in
>> that metric. The choice is the caller's, the organizers just want to know
>> how to advertise it.
>>
>> Jerome Grisanti
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