Ironic that you quote the wonderful Maya Angelou. She passed away this morning. She is gone but her words linger....And still I rise....words that surely do apply to us on this list.
Sent from my iPad Begin forwarded message: > Resent-From: [email protected] > From: "Joan Anglin" <[email protected]> > Date: May 28, 2014 at 1:45:10 PM EDTuote > To: <[email protected]>, "'Don Price'" <[email protected]>, > <[email protected]>, "'Gmail'" <[email protected]> > Cc: "'quad-list'" <[email protected]> > Subject: RE: [QUAD-L] To wake, or not to wake up? > > Don, you said that so much more eloquently than I can. I too have been > pondering how to answer the question and my daughter and I talked about it > extensively. I can only remember one time since I was injured when I > seriously thought about not living any longer and I was sitting in my > wheelchair at the top of the stairs from the patio, 22 stairs and with my > luck I would just injure myself more and probably wouldn’t be able to talk > and what is the worst thing that could happen to a woman other than being > able to talk? > I do have pain, and I have had my share of surgeries, blocked intestines, > emergency trips to the hospital, but being a fighter and from a long line of > women who are fighters, I just look for another solution or a better way of > doing things. What I wouldn’t give to be able to scratch my nose. As healthy > as I am, I do wish I could move more than just my head so that I could really > hug my grandchildren rather than just pressing my head against them, but that > is so much better than not being here. > Do I have as much energy as I used to-of course not, I am 24 years older-but > do I look forward to each day? Absolutely yes. I love the new master gardener > program that I have joined (no, I do not do the gardening, everyone else has > to J) but I am thrilled to death, in a manner of speaking, that I’m going to > be able to introduce gardening on a very small scale to some elderly and > disabled people that are not able to get out very much, so they will enjoy > having more interaction with young people and the joy of gardening and > harvesting your own lettuce for your salad. > Do I have dreams? Always so many, it’s hard to choose which one is the most > important. Right now, it is trying to figure out how I can get from Reno to > Santa Barbara California in two weeks to see my niece receive her doctorate > in art history and see my sister who has been able to get a release from her > Dr. While she is fighting cancer to see her daughter graduate. My sister > lives in Virginia and I have no way to be a support to her during this time > and we are all the family each other has. Hopefully we will be able to do it, > but if not I will survive albeit regretfully. I want to see my grandson stop > focusing on himself and become the thoughtful young man he was a couple of > years ago before he became Mr. Know it all, my other grandson to realize his > dream of writing a book, support my young granddaughter and her current goal > of becoming a fashion designer (she’s only 10), watch the seven year old > become a baseball star, and the four year old granddaughter as she develops > her own persona. > I want to get financing for the grandiose idea and hard work that I have put > into designing and be able to build a small complex where families that have > a member who is disabled have a small home that is designed for wheelchairs > have space to enjoy being outdoors and able to interact more with other > families were facing some of the same problems. I still want to do a > parachute jump, go scuba diving in the Caribbean where it is warm, go to > China and be able to walk on the great wall, jump in my car on a whim rather > than a preplanned excursion just to go shopping, etc, etc and so forth. > No, I probably won’t do most of those things, but I will damned well not give > them up until I die! I will rejoice in the little things, like sitting in the > sun and listening to fine music, reread a couple of good books and hopefully > many more new ones, enjoy some excellent meals and just all the little things > that make each day unique and different from the day before. > Clinical depression is so difficult to diagnose from a lay persons point of > view but it is certainly treatable and can make an outstanding difference in > someone’s life. We do have our up’s and downs, but continual downs are a huge > warning sign. I only know this from secondhand, but my beloved son died 11 > years ago after attempting suicide, but then realizing he did not want to die > but was killed accidentally by a semi truck as he was trying to signal for > help. We all missed the signs, and I do not wish anyone to have to live with > the aftermath. Bobbi, please analyze your life today, this is not quite like > you appear to be on the list in the past as you have often been the one to > bolster someone else up. We cannot wish ourselves to die, so maybe try to > wish yourself and talk to somebody about enjoying life more. > Motor mouth again. Sorry. > But as Maya Angelou said so eloquently " Rising high, high above me...a > constant call up from misery, leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise > into daybreak miraculously clear. I still rise." > Have hope and try to remain optimistic. Joan >
