Don and All,
Don I can't tell you how much appreciate you time and thought of
your email ... I'm truly touched.
I'd like to respond, but need a few days. I've been battling a persistent
headache for over 6 weeks now, nausea and lower intestinal pain. I went to my
GP we did blood work and everything is fine except for very, very low in
vitamins D (most likely because I've been stuck in bed). He also ordered a
virtual colonoscopy which is a cat-scan of my intestine. If I had the "usual"
colonoscopy I'm quite sure I'd have AD. Besides, why not start out less
invasive.
I truly cherish knowing you are all out there and are REALLL, REALLY listening.
Jim, thanks AGAIN for forming this list. I would love nothing mire than to
personally give you a ((((((((HUG)))))))). Bobbie
Smile Everyday
> On May 27, 2014, at 11:33 PM, Don Price <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Bobbie, I've been thinking about your email since you posted it, trying to
> mentally compose a reply. Here's my short answer: No, I've never wished not
> to wake up. In fact, the opposite is true for me--I go to sleep every night
> praying that I get another opportunity to be alive tomorrow.
>
> But, it's not a simple question to answer, is it? I consider myself extremely
> lucky because 32 years post-injury I don't have the debilitating pain many of
> you describe. I don't have any pressure sores or kidney stones; my bladder
> and bowels function well and I still don't need Viagra. I'm not bragging; I
> am grateful for everything I have.
>
> My first thought is that you have to be honest with yourself, Bobbie. Is this
> simply a temporary period of 'the blues,' or do you possibly have clinical
> depression? It's a very important distinction because depression does have a
> physiological basis and can be effectively helped with medical intervention.
> If you are having suicidal thoughts I beg you to seek a mental health
> hotline--I guarantee there's one available in your community.
>
> On the other hand, if you're just feeling down and out, having a rough go of
> things at the moment, then I'm glad you had the guts to mention it here. Yes,
> I honestly think it took great courage to share a weak moment here, to be
> vulnerable. 'Us people' with disabilities are always held up as
> inspirational; we're fonts of strength and wisdom because we survived a
> disability. We all know what a bunch of bullshit that is. Partly, that
> misconception is fed by the media and their fixation on the 'supercrip.' I'm
> sorry, but if I see one more news story about a guy climbing Half Dome in
> Yosemite using only his tongue I'm going to puke! All of us here know we're
> just regular human beings, getting up, doing our business, going to bed.
> Guess what? Sometimes we even have bad days!
>
> However, Bobbie (and all), it is my firm belief that--barring medical issues
> causing depression--we (and only we) have the power to make ourselves happy.
> I don't just believe that, I know it.
>
> It's somewhat ironic that I read your email, entitled "To wake, or not to
> wake up?" the same day I started reading 'The Last Lecture,' by Randy Pausch.
> For those of you unfamiliar with Mr Pausch's Last Lecture, he's a Professor
> at Carnegie Mellon University who learned he had only a few months to live
> due to pancreatic cancer. His accurately-titled 'last lecture' is available
> on youtube and shouldn't be missed. The irony is that this man endured
> mind-boggling surgeries and procedures so he could have even a chance at
> living a few days longer, and here we are talking about throwing away
> precious days, weeks, years. I'm reading the book because my father--the
> strongest man I've ever known--has recently been diagnosed with leukemia.
>
> I'm not judging anyone here. I can't walk a mile in your shoes (to use an
> exceedingly inappropriate cliche,) so I don't have the right, or desire, to
> lecture anyone. But, as I said, I know that we have the ability to choose
> (yes, choose) happiness and gratefulness in our lives. HOW you do that is
> going to be very much an individual thing. There are a million self-help
> books out there, and a few of them are even good, but that journey is yours
> to take on your own.
>
> Having said that, I still feel the compulsion to make a few suggestions (once
> I start typing I just can't stop--sorry!) First of all, one has to make the
> mind shift from what we've lost (or can't do,) to what we still have
> available (or can do.) If you can see, be thankful. If you can hear, be
> grateful. If you can think, praise the heavens. Somebody wrote that they miss
> the simple things, like sitting up in bed and putting their feet on the
> floor. If you could travel back in time you'd tell that guy not to take
> ANYTHING for granted. Randy Pausch, who died from his cancer in 2008, less
> than a year after giving his last lecture, would love to come back and tell
> you that same thing today. Don't take YOUR life for granted.
>
> Can't go camping alone in the wilderness? Become a scout leader and inspire
> the kids to step away from the X-Box. Can't bed a bunch of babes? Find one
> you really like and write her the greatest love letter ever created--she
> wouldn't stand a chance. Can't move your body? Move your mind! Take a class,
> read the 100 greatest books ever written, join your city's council on
> disability issues. If they don't have one, start one. Refute Stephen
> Hawking's gravitational singularity theorem. Or write an haiku. My point
> is.....well, you get my point.
>
> "I guess it comes down to a simple choice really. Get busy living, or get
> busy dying." -Andy Dufrenes, The Shawshank Redemption.
>
> I'm heading off to bed now. My caregiver will be here shortly and I'm bushed.
> Tomorrow I have committed to organize my music collection after I get home
> from work. It sounds mundane but I'm excited! Thirty-plus years of collected
> music will provide both dust and amazing memories. I can't wait to wake up
> tomorrow and see what opportunities await. From the bottom of my heart I wish
> the same for all of you.
>
> Don
> Tempe, AZ
> c5-6. Diving accident. 1982
>
>
>
> On Tuesday, May 27, 2014 1:57 PM, "[email protected]"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
> Oh, yes many times Bobbie I get sick of the pain!
> lindaf
>
> From: "Gmail" <[email protected]>
> To: "quad-list" <[email protected]>
> Sent: Monday, May 26, 2014 8:26:39 PM
> Subject: [QUAD-L] To wake, or not to wake up?
>
> I have a question. 90% of the time when I go to sleep I hope/wish I will not
> wake up in the morning.
> Dose anybody else ever have these thoughts? Bobbie
>
>
>
>
>
