Re: OT: Friday Humor
LOL! Took me a moment to figure out what you were looking at. Love a sense of humor! Warren On Fri, Sep 19, 2014 at 10:00 AM, Boyd, Rebecca boy...@wfu.edu wrote: ** Under the category of Why didn't I think of that http://gardner-webb.libguides.com/support.php TGIF -- Rebecca Boyd Application Administrator Wake Forest University _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ -- Warren R. Baltimore II Remedy Developer 410-533-5367 ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
I think it's only fair to give the HD techs fair warning about what they are getting into. Plus it could serve as a great motivator: Robinson, if you're late one more time you're getting all of the angry, panicked, and confused cases for a WEEK! From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Warren R. Baltimore II Sent: Friday, September 19, 2014 9:06 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor ** LOL! Took me a moment to figure out what you were looking at. Love a sense of humor! Warren On Fri, Sep 19, 2014 at 10:00 AM, Boyd, Rebecca boy...@wfu.edumailto:boy...@wfu.edu wrote: ** Under the category of Why didn't I think of that http://gardner-webb.libguides.com/support.php TGIF -- Rebecca Boyd Application Administrator Wake Forest University _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ -- Warren R. Baltimore II Remedy Developer 410-533-5367 _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ No virus found in this message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.comhttp://www.avg.com Version: 2014.0.4765 / Virus Database: 4015/8212 - Release Date: 09/14/14 ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Loved the 'conference'! Joe _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Jason Miller Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 1:09 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor ** I love this one. Like many of you I have been the expert a number of times. On one occasion I was kicked by the Project Manager when started questioning the feasibility of what the customer wanted. That PM may or may not be a member of this community :) Jason On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 8:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
I received that in my email this morning from linked in perhaps. VERY FUNNY! On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 11:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ -- Warren R. Baltimore II Remedy Developer 410-533-5367 ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
If you haven't seen this one it is funny and safe for work http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZiiQ Christie Pargeter | Sr Technical Analyst | tel 503-415-5149 From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Warren R. Baltimore II Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 9:05 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor ** I received that in my email this morning from linked in perhaps. VERY FUNNY! On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 11:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ -- Warren R. Baltimore II Remedy Developer 410-533-5367 _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
And painful for those of us who have been there. Rick On Apr 11, 2014 9:53 AM, Pargeter, Christie :CO IS cparg...@lhs.org wrote: ** If you haven't seen this one it is funny and safe for work http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZiiQ *Christie Pargeter | Sr Technical Analyst | tel 503-415-5149 503-415-5149* *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] *On Behalf Of *Warren R. Baltimore II *Sent:* Friday, April 11, 2014 9:05 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: OT: Friday Humor ** I received that in my email this morning from linked in perhaps. VERY FUNNY! On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 11:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ -- Warren R. Baltimore II Remedy Developer 410-533-5367 _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
I love this one. Like many of you I have been the expert a number of times. On one occasion I was kicked by the Project Manager when started questioning the feasibility of what the customer wanted. That PM may or may not be a member of this community :) Jason On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 8:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
I always thought the expert was the sales person, then the PM and then us techies. Who were just the drones that followed their great wisdom. From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Jason Miller Sent: Friday, April 11, 2014 1:09 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: [arslist] OT: Friday Humor ** I love this one. Like many of you I have been the expert a number of times. On one occasion I was kicked by the Project Manager when started questioning the feasibility of what the customer wanted. That PM may or may not be a member of this community :) Jason On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 8:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.commailto:thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ Click herehttps://www.mailcontrol.com/sr/l6DOa6c8kiTGX2PQPOmvUkyXKmclf+CPbFRJvbRdPouF8U84Pxd3U3A+THH1QkRMu8jWC8Lj0FWTKOxjbsImtQ== to report this email as spam. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
That must be how it really is because they don't actually want to hear what we have to say. On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 11:03 AM, Richter, Howard (CEI - Atlanta) howard.rich...@coxinc.com wrote: ** I always thought the expert was the sales person, then the PM and then us techies. Who were just the drones that followed their great wisdom. *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] *On Behalf Of *Jason Miller *Sent:* Friday, April 11, 2014 1:09 PM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: [arslist] OT: Friday Humor ** I love this one. Like many of you I have been the expert a number of times. On one occasion I was kicked by the Project Manager when started questioning the feasibility of what the customer wanted. That PM may or may not be a member of this community :) Jason On Fri, Apr 11, 2014 at 8:43 AM, Thad Esser thad.es...@gmail.com wrote: ** I think we've all been in this meeting... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg (it is safe for work) Cheers, Thad _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ Click herehttps://www.mailcontrol.com/sr/l6DOa6c8kiTGX2PQPOmvUkyXKmclf+CPbFRJvbRdPouF8U84Pxd3U3A+THH1QkRMu8jWC8Lj0FWTKOxjbsImtQ==to report this email as spam. _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT (Friday humor): Sometimes the humor is right in front of us.
The SISS principle, Skeep It Simple Stupid From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Thad Esser Sent: Friday, June 07, 2013 10:13 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT (Friday humor): Sometimes the humor is right in front of us. ** We gotter make sure we dun skeep 'em reel good. [Inline image 1] (In case the image doesn't come through, there's a filter in SRM 8.1 named SRD:SRD:SkeepStatusRules_110) _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ This message (including any attachments) is confidential and intended for a specific individual and purpose. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately and delete this message. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years inline: image001.png
Re: OT (Friday humor): Sometimes the humor is right in front of us.
This has been around for a while but it remains a great lesson on how to explain systems. ;-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLDgQg6bq7o On Fri, Jun 7, 2013 at 11:16 AM, Smerz, Christian cesm...@eprod.com wrote: ** The SISS principle, Skeep It Simple Stupid *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] *On Behalf Of *Thad Esser *Sent:* Friday, June 07, 2013 10:13 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* OT (Friday humor): Sometimes the humor is right in front of us. ** We gotter make sure we dun skeep 'em reel good. [image: Inline image 1] (In case the image doesn't come through, there's a filter in SRM 8.1 named SRD:SRD:SkeepStatusRules_110) _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ -- This message (including any attachments) is confidential and intended for a specific individual and purpose. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately and delete this message. _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT (Friday humor): Sometimes the humor is right in front of us.
I took a look at it in the hopes that it was a typo of the word keep but no, with that Go To If Action, it's definitely supposed to be skip. Thanks, Shawn Pierson Remedy Developer | Energy Transfer From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Thad Esser Sent: Friday, June 07, 2013 10:13 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT (Friday humor): Sometimes the humor is right in front of us. ** We gotter make sure we dun skeep 'em reel good. [Inline image 1] (In case the image doesn't come through, there's a filter in SRM 8.1 named SRD:SRD:SkeepStatusRules_110) _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ Private and confidential as detailed here: http://www.energytransfer.com/mail_disclaimer.aspx . If you cannot access the link, please e-mail sender. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years inline: image001.png
Re: OT: Friday Humor - The Green Thing (Eco Friendly Iniative)
As a tree hugger, I just have to say AMEN On May 24, 2013 6:41 PM, bullcreek.com bauti...@bullcreek.com wrote: Since it is Friday and it has been one of those weeks I feel compelled to put what an (older) friend sent to me here. I do live in Austin, TX, after all (where plastic bags are now banned, and you get charged for paper bags - Except at Target, apparentyl) . Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the me the other day, that I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days. The clerk responded, That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations. She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books. But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right, we didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint. But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then? .. Phil Bautista http://www.wwrug.com/contact_phil.html 512-731-0304 ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
I was talking this morning with someone at my health club about Maxine Waters' statement yesterday that we would lose 170 million jobs - which is more than we actually have - and how anyone so stupid could get themselves elected to Congress. And the other one who thought that an island (Guam) might capsize if we removed a bunch of people from it. I actually figured this out a few years back. No offense to Sales people out there - you perform a useful function - but many ended up in sales because they weren't good enough at anything else, like computers, for instance, to make a decent living at it. Politicians, regardless of any other skills they might have, are really good at one thing - selling themselves. Some of them also aren't good enough at anything else to do anything else. Keep that in mind next election, when asked to vote for someone whose vote will be affecting what YOU are good at and they are not. Like spending money wisely, for instance. Rick On Fri, Mar 1, 2013 at 7:50 AM, Phil Bautista bauti...@bullcreek.comwrote: ** Ok, so this could be modified to incorporate any number of discovery tools, database of your choice, PC vendor you like (or dislike), etc. But you may find it funny and can perform your own variable substitution… ** ** “A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf? Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, Sure, why not? The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves. That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves, says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf? The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, Okay, why not? You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government, says Bud. Wow! That's correct, says the yuppie, but how did you guess that? No guessing required. answered the cowboy. You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog. AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.” ** ** Phil Bautista, WWRUG13 Advisory Board 512-731-0304 Social - http://www.facebook.com/phil.bautista Business - http://www.linkedin.com/in/philbautista WWRUG12 - http://www.wwrug12.com/contact_phil.htmlhttp://www.wwrug11.com/contact_phil.html ** ** _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Good 2 see since joke on friday..just to refresh eachones mind from the mamoth task...keping smiling. Have a nice day ahead folks In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter. To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him..!!! So the boy added immediately, And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!. After the customer left, the manager said You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from? To this the boy said, I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players! The manager replied coldly, My wife is also from Brazil . To this the boy asked excitedly, Oh yeah? Which team does she play for? Presence of mind helps, Never Panic!!! On 1 Mar 2013 21:20, Phil Bautista bauti...@bullcreek.com wrote: ** Ok, so this could be modified to incorporate any number of discovery tools, database of your choice, PC vendor you like (or dislike), etc. But you may find it funny and can perform your own variable substitution… ** ** “A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf? Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, Sure, why not? The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves. That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves, says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf? The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, Okay, why not? You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government, says Bud. Wow! That's correct, says the yuppie, but how did you guess that? No guessing required. answered the cowboy. You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog. AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.” ** ** Phil Bautista, WWRUG13 Advisory Board 512-731-0304 Social - http://www.facebook.com/phil.bautista Business - http://www.linkedin.com/in/philbautista WWRUG12 - http://www.wwrug12.com/contact_phil.htmlhttp://www.wwrug11.com/contact_phil.html ** ** _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Both funny jokes :-) _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Rajesh Nair Sent: Friday, March 01, 2013 2:55 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor ** Good 2 see since joke on friday..just to refresh eachones mind from the mamoth task...keping smiling. Have a nice day ahead folks In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter. To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him..!!! So the boy added immediately, And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!. After the customer left, the manager said You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from? To this the boy said, I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players! The manager replied coldly, My wife is also from Brazil . To this the boy asked excitedly, Oh yeah? Which team does she play for? Presence of mind helps, Never Panic!!! On 1 Mar 2013 21:20, Phil Bautista bauti...@bullcreek.com wrote: ** Ok, so this could be modified to incorporate any number of discovery tools, database of your choice, PC vendor you like (or dislike), etc. But you may find it funny and can perform your own variable substitution. A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a BrioniR suit, GucciR shoes, RayBanR sunglasses and YSLR tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf? Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, Sure, why not? The yuppie parks his car, whips out his DellR notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3R cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe PhotoshopR and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm PilotR that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQLR database through an ODBC connected ExcelR spreadsheet with email on his BlackberryR and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJetR printer, turns to the cowboy and says, You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves. That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves, says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf? The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, Okay, why not? You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government, says Bud. Wow! That's correct, says the yuppie, but how did you guess that? No guessing required. answered the cowboy. You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog. AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT. Phil Bautista, WWRUG13 Advisory Board 512-731-0304 Social - http://www.facebook.com/phil.bautista Business - http://www.linkedin.com/in/philbautista WWRUG12 - http://www.wwrug12.com/contact_phil.html http://www.wwrug11.com/contact_phil.html _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ _ARSlist: Where the Answers Are and have been for 20 years_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years
Re: OT: Friday Humor
100% agree. For those particularly frustrating days, I've got a link to that video on my Remedy Home Page in our Dev environment. Not sure I could get away with it in Prod. :-) My 8 year old daughter and I do this thing where we mimc that video with whatever topic comes to mind. My wife isn't sure which one of is the bigger kid. Me: Waterparks. I've been thinking about waterparks lately. Her: Yeah? .. Me: And I thought to myself, you know who would like to go to the waterpark? ME! So I went inside. Her. waaahaaa!! And so on. Anyway, it had been a few months since I last looked at that, it never seems to get old. Thanks for posting. :-) Thad On Fri, Jan 13, 2012 at 1:33 PM, Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) christopher.pru...@hp.com wrote: ** This has to be one of the funniest videos I have seen in a long time ** ** ** ** http://app.cooleremail.com/c.pl?46a31b4a5a9778ad41702904e8ac6702abd8c7287612b8a0 ** ** ** ** *Christopher Pruitt* Business Consulting III *HP Enterprises Services* *christopher.pru...@hp.com* www.hp.com [image: HP_logo] ** ** *Confidentiality Notice:* This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake.* *** ** ** ** ** _attend WWRUG12 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug12 www.wwrug12.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Answer to #5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTyH2nuFAw - How to fold a fitted sheet. ;) Sincerely, Robert Fults Remedy Admin/Dev. Florida International University Email: rfu...@fiu.edu http://uts.fiu.edu 10. Bad decisions make good stories. Really bad decisions make epic sagas. Jennifer Meyer -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: Friday, November 26, 2010 8:22 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor Subject: Truths for Mature Humans 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the h$%^ are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of My neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 18. How many times is it appropriate to say What? before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. 20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 22. The first testicular guard, the Cup, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services christopher.pru...@hp.com www.hp.comhttp://www.hp.com/ Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are E-mail correspondence to and from this address may be subject to the North Carolina Public Records Law and may be disclosed to third parties by an authorized state official. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
10. Bad decisions make good stories. Really bad decisions make epic sagas. Jennifer Meyer -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: Friday, November 26, 2010 8:22 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor Subject: Truths for Mature Humans 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the h$%^ are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of My neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 18. How many times is it appropriate to say What? before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. 20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 22. The first testicular guard, the Cup, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services christopher.pru...@hp.com www.hp.comhttp://www.hp.com/ Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are E-mail correspondence to and from this address may be subject to the North Carolina Public Records Law and may be disclosed to third parties by an authorized state official. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug11 www.wwrug.com ARSList: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Thanks! Really made me laugh! Cheers Ben Chernys Senior Software Architect Software Tool House Inc. Canada / Deutschland / Germany Mobile: +49 171 380 2329GMT + 1 + [ DST ] Email: Ben.Chernys _AT_ softwaretoolhouse.com Web: www.softwaretoolhouse.com Check out Software Tool House's free Diary Editor. Meta-Update, our premium ARS Data tool, lets you automate your imports, migrations, in no time at all, without programming, without staging forms, without merge workflow. http://www.softwaretoolhouse.com/ -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: June 11, 2010 3:23 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor Subject: Heart-warming lawyer story This is funny but this lawyer is a cold piece of work. One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men on the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, Why are you eating grass? We don't have any money for food, the poor man replied. We have to eat grass. Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree. Bring them along, the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, You come with us also. The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me ! Bring them all as well, the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. The lawyer replied, Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services 972.605.7702 office | christopher.pru...@hp.commailto:mary.jo...@hp.com www.hp.comhttp://www.hp.com/ Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
lol -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: 11 June 2010 14:23 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor Subject: Heart-warming lawyer story This is funny but this lawyer is a cold piece of work. One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men on the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, Why are you eating grass? We don't have any money for food, the poor man replied. We have to eat grass. Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree. Bring them along, the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, You come with us also. The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me ! Bring them all as well, the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. The lawyer replied, Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services 972.605.7702 office | christopher.pru...@hp.commailto:mary.jo...@hp.com www.hp.comhttp://www.hp.com/ Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Lawyers seem to be the butt of more than their share of jokes. So I'll make a bad situation even worse: Two kids are discussing their parents. Kid 1: My dad's a Remedy Developer Kid 2: That's nothing. My dad's a lawyer! Kid 1: Honest?!? Kid 2: No, just an ordinary lawyer. Dwayne Martin With apologies to my lawyer friends. -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Danny Kellett Sent: Friday, June 11, 2010 10:52 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor lol -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: 11 June 2010 14:23 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor Subject: Heart-warming lawyer story This is funny but this lawyer is a cold piece of work. One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men on the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, Why are you eating grass? We don't have any money for food, the poor man replied. We have to eat grass. Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree. Bring them along, the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, You come with us also. The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me ! Bring them all as well, the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. The lawyer replied, Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services 972.605.7702 office | christopher.pru...@hp.commailto:mary.jo...@hp.com www.hp.comhttp://www.hp.com/ Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Here's my favorite lawyer joke. ... What's the difference between a lab rat and a lawyer? There's some things even a lab rat won't do. Ben Cantatore Remedy Manager (914) 457-6209 Emerging Health IT 3 Odell Plaza Yonkers, New York 10701 marti...@jmu.edu 06/11/10 12:46 PM Lawyers seem to be the butt of more than their share of jokes. So I'll make a bad situation even worse: Two kids are discussing their parents. Kid 1: My dad's a Remedy Developer Kid 2: That's nothing. My dad's a lawyer! Kid 1: Honest?!? Kid 2: No, just an ordinary lawyer. Dwayne Martin With apologies to my lawyer friends. -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Danny Kellett Sent: Friday, June 11, 2010 10:52 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor lol -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher (Bank of America Account) Sent: 11 June 2010 14:23 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor Subject: Heart-warming lawyer story This is funny but this lawyer is a cold piece of work. One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men on the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, Why are you eating grass? We don't have any money for food, the poor man replied. We have to eat grass. Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree. Bring them along, the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, You come with us also. The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me ! Bring them all as well, the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. The lawyer replied, Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high Christopher Pruitt Business Consulting III HP Enterprises Services 972.605.7702 office | christopher.pru...@hp.commailto:mary.jo...@hp.com A href=http://www.hp.comwww.hp.comhttp://www.hp.com/ Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug10 www.wwrug.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor - A Public service message about LIFE
:-) Funny stuff! Joe From: PRUITT, CHRISTOPHER christopher.pru...@hp.com To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Sent: Friday, July 17, 2009 9:38:48 AM Subject: OT: Friday Humor - A Public service message about LIFE ** On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed.. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why, for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS,an HP Company mailto:christopher.pru...@hp.com We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice:This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor:rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor
May I add a few? You add somebody you see every day to your Facebook Friends list. You have more passwords than fingers, and mnemonics for all of them. You have never visited a physical branch of your bank, insurance office, or public utility company, and aren't sure where to find them if you had to. You don't own a map, but you don't need one, because you can google. You can hold a perfectly rational, normal conversation while staring into thin air, with no one within 10 feet of you, and passerby will not consider you insane. You bring your laptop in the car whenever someone else is driving, in case you need directions. Jennifer Meyer Remedy Technical Support Specialist State of North Carolina Office of Information Technology Services Service Delivery Division ITSM ITAM Services Office: 919-754-6543 ITS Service Desk: 919-754-6000 jennifer.me...@its.nc.govmailto:jennifer.me...@its.nc.gov http://its.state.nc.ushttp://its.state.nc.us/ E-mail correspondence to and from this address may be subject to the North Carolina Public Records Law and may be disclosed to third parties only by an authorized State Official. From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Rick Cook Sent: Friday, June 12, 2009 11:22 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor Nice, Chris! Too true! Rick From: Pruitt, Christopher J Date: Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:18:21 -0500 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT: Friday Humor YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. (That's because of course she has her earphones in) 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 1 3 Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOURSELF Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to... Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: christopher.pru...@eds.com We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. _Platinum Sponsor: rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ Email correspondence to and from this sender is subject to the N.C. Public Records Law and may be disclosed to third parties. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor:rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor
My addition would be: You actually say LOL in a conversation. Tauf Chowdhury Analyst, Service Management Office: 631.858.7765 Mobile:646.483.2779 From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Meyer, Jennifer L Sent: Monday, June 15, 2009 9:46 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor ** May I add a few? You add somebody you see every day to your Facebook Friends list. You have more passwords than fingers, and mnemonics for all of them. You have never visited a physical branch of your bank, insurance office, or public utility company, and aren't sure where to find them if you had to. You don't own a map, but you don't need one, because you can google. You can hold a perfectly rational, normal conversation while staring into thin air, with no one within 10 feet of you, and passerby will not consider you insane. You bring your laptop in the car whenever someone else is driving, in case you need directions. Jennifer Meyer Remedy Technical Support Specialist State of North Carolina Office of Information Technology Services Service Delivery Division ITSM ITAM Services Office: 919-754-6543 ITS Service Desk: 919-754-6000 jennifer.me...@its.nc.gov http://its.state.nc.us http://its.state.nc.us/ E-mail correspondence to and from this address may be subject to the North Carolina Public Records Law and may be disclosed to third parties only by an authorized State Official. From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arsl...@arslist.org] On Behalf Of Rick Cook Sent: Friday, June 12, 2009 11:22 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor Nice, Chris! Too true! Rick From: Pruitt, Christopher J Date: Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:18:21 -0500 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT: Friday Humor YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. (That's because of course she has her earphones in) 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 1 3 Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOURSELF Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to... Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: christopher.pru...@eds.com We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. _Platinum Sponsor: rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ Email correspondence to and from this sender is subject to the N.C. Public Records Law and may be disclosed to third parties. _Platinum Sponsor: rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: Where the Answers Are_ ** This e-mail and its attachments may contain Forest Laboratories, Inc. proprietary information that is privileged, confidential or subject to copyright belonging to Forest Laboratories, Inc. This e-mail is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed. If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, or the employee or agent responsible for delivering this e-mail to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, copying or action taken in relation
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Nice, Chris! Too true! Rick -Original Message- From: Pruitt, Christopher J christopher.pru...@eds.com Date: Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:18:21 To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT: Friday Humor YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. (That's because of course she has her earphones in) 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 1 3 Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOURSELF Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to... Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: christopher.pru...@eds.com We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor:rmisoluti...@verizon.net ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive?
So, what did YOU drink for lunch today in the BMC Cafeteria :-p On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 3:13 PM, Easter, David david_eas...@bmc.com wrote: ** Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. I humbly disagree, and I thought the best way to voice that would be in a rap. (Please imagine a posse emphasizing the parts in bold...) I sat down today at my *PC* Gonna log into my Rem-*E-DY* But yo’ yo’ dog, what do I see? My W-U-T is *R-I-P* Times have *changed*, tools rear*ranged* Someone’s got to be de*ranged* Phat clients are gone, now ain’t that strange OWA now’s my link to Ex*change* I ain’t here to dis’ the web *client* Not tryin’ to be rude or be de*fiant* I’m ready to bend, gonna be real *pliant* Don’t wanna go to jail not bein’ com*pliant* Web’s now the *norm*, got to *perform* Cloud Computing is the *per-fect storm* It does the work – same function and form Brings data to the masses, keeps them in*formed* So here I go don’t need no *docs* Just launch IE or *Firefox* Wow, look at that - this UI *rocks!* This dope web client *knocks* *off my socks!* * * I save time typing ‘cause of auto-com*plete* And collapsible panels keep *my view* *neat* Flex-based flashboards? Man, that’s *sweet* It’s got fill layout – totally *|_337! * * * New JavaScript engines make it *fast* This technology’s built to *last* Yo, I’m sold – my test is *passed* My expectations it has *surpassed* Hey thick client – *C-YA*! Wouldn’t wanna *be ya*! Your days are numbered, I guaran*tee ya* From Sunnyvale to South *Korea* Fire up that browser – we’ll *B-M-C ya!* -David J. Easter Sr. Product Manager, Solution Strategy and Development BMC Software, Inc. The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this E-mail *DEFINITELY *do not reflect those of BMC Software, Inc. My voluntary participation in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc. -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Sanford, Claire *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 11:13 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Bravo Susan! I couldn't have said it better myself! Go FAT! What a bunch of sizeists! -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Susan Palmer *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 12:33 PM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Since '95 I don't recall Remedy ever referring to it as the FAT client. Whenever I heard the term I thought it was an old geek term especially once web became more prolific. And as with most THIN clients in the past they did not have the full abilities of the FAT client which was many times overlooked since often THIN seemed to be preferred. But many people realized that the FAT client was more fulfilling and rewarding. Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. Go FAT !! Susan :) On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 8:43 AM, Shyman, Jonathan jshy...@columnit.comwrote: ** No, see, that's no good beacuse it infers the existence of a smart client. You know, a client that will fill out most of the fields on a form for you, get you coffee, ask your boss for a raise and tell you it can't open the pod bay doors now. :) J.T. Shyman -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) on behalf of Reiser, John J Sent: Fri 4/17/2009 9:38 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? How about the dumb client? ARText Ver 1.5 --- John J. Reiser Senior Software Development Analyst Remedy Administrator/Developer Lockheed Martin - MS2 The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [ mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Carey Matthew Black Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 7:43 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? Axton, I think I was more like this: RemedyWeb was the thick web client (applet based), (AKA Fat web client) ARWeb was the thin web client (DHTML/Javascript based) WUT was the v4 Windows User Tool (Maybe also called the FAT client. Note it is fatter than the Fat web client by two more capital sized letters.) You also had to deal with the UUT. (Un*x User Tool). However, you might also have called it the OMUT OSF/Motif User Tool too. But as I
Re: OT: Friday Humor: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive?
It is going the way of the 8 track. May the tape not break and the case not melt. On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 3:13 PM, Easter, David david_eas...@bmc.com wrote: ** Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. I humbly disagree, and I thought the best way to voice that would be in a rap. (Please imagine a posse emphasizing the parts in bold...) I sat down today at my *PC* Gonna log into my Rem-*E-DY* But yo’ yo’ dog, what do I see? My W-U-T is *R-I-P* Times have *changed*, tools rear*ranged* Someone’s got to be de*ranged* Phat clients are gone, now ain’t that strange OWA now’s my link to Ex*change* I ain’t here to dis’ the web *client* Not tryin’ to be rude or be de*fiant* I’m ready to bend, gonna be real *pliant* Don’t wanna go to jail not bein’ com*pliant* Web’s now the *norm*, got to *perform* Cloud Computing is the *per-fect storm* It does the work – same function and form Brings data to the masses, keeps them in*formed* So here I go don’t need no *docs* Just launch IE or *Firefox* Wow, look at that - this UI *rocks!* This dope web client *knocks* *off my socks!* * * I save time typing ‘cause of auto-com*plete* And collapsible panels keep *my view* *neat* Flex-based flashboards? Man, that’s *sweet* It’s got fill layout – totally *|_337! * * * New JavaScript engines make it *fast* This technology’s built to *last* Yo, I’m sold – my test is *passed* My expectations it has *surpassed* Hey thick client – *C-YA*! Wouldn’t wanna *be ya*! Your days are numbered, I guaran*tee ya* From Sunnyvale to South *Korea* Fire up that browser – we’ll *B-M-C ya!* -David J. Easter Sr. Product Manager, Solution Strategy and Development BMC Software, Inc. The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this E-mail *DEFINITELY *do not reflect those of BMC Software, Inc. My voluntary participation in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc. -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Sanford, Claire *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 11:13 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Bravo Susan! I couldn't have said it better myself! Go FAT! What a bunch of sizeists! -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Susan Palmer *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 12:33 PM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Since '95 I don't recall Remedy ever referring to it as the FAT client. Whenever I heard the term I thought it was an old geek term especially once web became more prolific. And as with most THIN clients in the past they did not have the full abilities of the FAT client which was many times overlooked since often THIN seemed to be preferred. But many people realized that the FAT client was more fulfilling and rewarding. Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. Go FAT !! Susan :) On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 8:43 AM, Shyman, Jonathan jshy...@columnit.comwrote: ** No, see, that's no good beacuse it infers the existence of a smart client. You know, a client that will fill out most of the fields on a form for you, get you coffee, ask your boss for a raise and tell you it can't open the pod bay doors now. :) J.T. Shyman -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) on behalf of Reiser, John J Sent: Fri 4/17/2009 9:38 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? How about the dumb client? ARText Ver 1.5 --- John J. Reiser Senior Software Development Analyst Remedy Administrator/Developer Lockheed Martin - MS2 The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [ mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Carey Matthew Black Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 7:43 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? Axton, I think I was more like this: RemedyWeb was the thick web client (applet based), (AKA Fat web client) ARWeb was the thin web client (DHTML/Javascript based) WUT was the v4 Windows User Tool (Maybe also called the FAT client. Note it is fatter than the Fat web client by two more capital sized letters.) You also had to deal with the UUT. (Un*x User Tool). However, you might also have called it the OMUT OSF/Motif User Tool
Re: OT: Friday Humor: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive?
Most x l nt Sent from my iPhone On Apr 17, 2009, at 2:13 PM, Easter, David david_eas...@bmc.com wrote: ** Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. I humbly disagree, and I thought the best way to voice that would be in a rap. (Please imagine a posse emphasizing the parts in bold...) I sat down today at my PC Gonna log into my Rem-E-DY But yo’ yo’ dog, what do I see? My W-U-T is R-I-P Times have changed, tools rearranged Someone’s got to be deranged Phat clients are gone, now ain’t that strange OWA now’s my link to Exchange I ain’t here to dis’ the web client Not tryin’ to be rude or be defiant I’m ready to bend, gonna be real pliant Don’t wanna go to jail not bein’ compliant Web’s now the norm, got to perform Cloud Computing is the per-fect storm It does the work – same function and form Brings data to the masses, keeps them informed So here I go don’t need no docs Just launch IE or Firefox Wow, look at that - this UI rocks! This dope web client knocks off my socks! I save time typing ‘cause of auto-complete And collapsible panels keep my view neat Flex-based flashboards? Man, that’s sweet It’s got fill layout – totally |_337! New JavaScript engines make it fast This technology’s built to last Yo, I’m sold – my test is passed My expectations it has surpassed Hey thick client – C-YA! Wouldn’t wanna be ya! Your days are numbered, I guarantee ya From Sunnyvale to South Korea Fire up that browser – we’ll B-M-C ya! -David J. Easter Sr. Product Manager, Solution Strategy and Development BMC Software, Inc. The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this E-mail DEFINITELY do not reflect those of BMC Software, Inc. My voluntary participation in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc. From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ] On Behalf Of Sanford, Claire Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 11:13 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Bravo Susan! I couldn't have said it better myself! Go FAT! What a bunch of sizeists! From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ] On Behalf Of Susan Palmer Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 12:33 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Since '95 I don't recall Remedy ever referring to it as the FAT client. Whenever I heard the term I thought it was an old geek term especially once web became more prolific. And as with most THIN clients in the past they did not have the full abilities of the FAT client which was many times overlooked since often THIN seemed to be preferred. But many people realized that the FAT client was more fulfilling and rewarding. Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. Go FAT !! Susan :) On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 8:43 AM, Shyman, Jonathan jshy...@columnit.com wrote: ** No, see, that's no good beacuse it infers the existence of a smart client. You know, a client that will fill out most of the fields on a form for you, get you coffee, ask your boss for a raise and tell you it can't open the pod bay doors now. :) J.T. Shyman -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) on behalf of Reiser, John J Sent: Fri 4/17/2009 9:38 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? How about the dumb client? ARText Ver 1.5 --- John J. Reiser Senior Software Development Analyst Remedy Administrator/Developer Lockheed Martin - MS2 The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ] On Behalf Of Carey Matthew Black Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 7:43 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? Axton, I think I was more like this: RemedyWeb was the thick web client (applet based), (AKA Fat web client) ARWeb was the thin web client (DHTML/Javascript based) WUT was the v4 Windows User Tool (Maybe also called the FAT client. Note it is fatter than the Fat web client by two more capital sized letters.) You also had to deal with the UUT. (Un*x User Tool). However, you might also have called it the OMUT OSF/Motif User Tool too. But as I only used it a few times I really do not want to try to remember it in a negative way. Rather I will choose to focus on the positive memories It's dead. Then you also had to deal with the MUT. (Macintosh User Tool, was that v3? or just v2?) Which I would call a FAt client. (Not quite as fat as the FAT
Re: OT: Friday Humor: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive?
LOL.I love it! So, should we call you P-David, Easter-Dog, or maybe theBig DjE? Juan Ingles On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 12:13 PM, Easter, David david_eas...@bmc.comwrote: ** Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. I humbly disagree, and I thought the best way to voice that would be in a rap. (Please imagine a posse emphasizing the parts in bold...) I sat down today at my *PC* Gonna log into my Rem-*E-DY* But yo’ yo’ dog, what do I see? My W-U-T is *R-I-P* Times have *changed*, tools rear*ranged* Someone’s got to be de*ranged* Phat clients are gone, now ain’t that strange OWA now’s my link to Ex*change* I ain’t here to dis’ the web *client* Not tryin’ to be rude or be de*fiant* I’m ready to bend, gonna be real *pliant* Don’t wanna go to jail not bein’ com*pliant* Web’s now the *norm*, got to *perform* Cloud Computing is the *per-fect storm* It does the work – same function and form Brings data to the masses, keeps them in*formed* So here I go don’t need no *docs* Just launch IE or *Firefox* Wow, look at that - this UI *rocks!* This dope web client *knocks* *off my socks!* * * I save time typing ‘cause of auto-com*plete* And collapsible panels keep *my view* *neat* Flex-based flashboards? Man, that’s *sweet* It’s got fill layout – totally *|_337! * * * New JavaScript engines make it *fast* This technology’s built to *last* Yo, I’m sold – my test is *passed* My expectations it has *surpassed* Hey thick client – *C-YA*! Wouldn’t wanna *be ya*! Your days are numbered, I guaran*tee ya* From Sunnyvale to South *Korea* Fire up that browser – we’ll *B-M-C ya!* -David J. Easter Sr. Product Manager, Solution Strategy and Development BMC Software, Inc. The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this E-mail *DEFINITELY *do not reflect those of BMC Software, Inc. My voluntary participation in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc. -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Sanford, Claire *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 11:13 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Bravo Susan! I couldn't have said it better myself! Go FAT! What a bunch of sizeists! -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Susan Palmer *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 12:33 PM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Since '95 I don't recall Remedy ever referring to it as the FAT client. Whenever I heard the term I thought it was an old geek term especially once web became more prolific. And as with most THIN clients in the past they did not have the full abilities of the FAT client which was many times overlooked since often THIN seemed to be preferred. But many people realized that the FAT client was more fulfilling and rewarding. Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. Go FAT !! Susan :) On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 8:43 AM, Shyman, Jonathan jshy...@columnit.comwrote: ** No, see, that's no good beacuse it infers the existence of a smart client. You know, a client that will fill out most of the fields on a form for you, get you coffee, ask your boss for a raise and tell you it can't open the pod bay doors now. :) J.T. Shyman -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) on behalf of Reiser, John J Sent: Fri 4/17/2009 9:38 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? How about the dumb client? ARText Ver 1.5 --- John J. Reiser Senior Software Development Analyst Remedy Administrator/Developer Lockheed Martin - MS2 The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [ mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Carey Matthew Black Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 7:43 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? Axton, I think I was more like this: RemedyWeb was the thick web client (applet based), (AKA Fat web client) ARWeb was the thin web client (DHTML/Javascript based) WUT was the v4 Windows User Tool (Maybe also called the FAT client. Note it is fatter than the Fat web client by two more capital sized letters.) You also had to deal with the UUT. (Un*x User Tool). However, you might also have called it the OMUT OSF/Motif
Re: OT: Friday Humor: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive?
Very impressive !! Vote for David as entertainment at the new user group. Remember when all the top guys used to get on stage and do a song. The polynesian outfits with the coconuts was particularily memorable. Granted ... for the rap David ... you'll need appropriately loose clothing and lots of bling! That brought a smile to a long week!! thanks, Susan On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 2:13 PM, Easter, David david_eas...@bmc.com wrote: ** Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. I humbly disagree, and I thought the best way to voice that would be in a rap. (Please imagine a posse emphasizing the parts in bold...) I sat down today at my *PC* Gonna log into my Rem-*E-DY* But yo’ yo’ dog, what do I see? My W-U-T is *R-I-P* Times have *changed*, tools rear*ranged* Someone’s got to be de*ranged* Phat clients are gone, now ain’t that strange OWA now’s my link to Ex*change* I ain’t here to dis’ the web *client* Not tryin’ to be rude or be de*fiant* I’m ready to bend, gonna be real *pliant* Don’t wanna go to jail not bein’ com*pliant* Web’s now the *norm*, got to *perform* Cloud Computing is the *per-fect storm* It does the work – same function and form Brings data to the masses, keeps them in*formed* So here I go don’t need no *docs* Just launch IE or *Firefox* Wow, look at that - this UI *rocks!* This dope web client *knocks* *off my socks!* * * I save time typing ‘cause of auto-com*plete* And collapsible panels keep *my view* *neat* Flex-based flashboards? Man, that’s *sweet* It’s got fill layout – totally *|_337! * * * New JavaScript engines make it *fast* This technology’s built to *last* Yo, I’m sold – my test is *passed* My expectations it has *surpassed* Hey thick client – *C-YA*! Wouldn’t wanna *be ya*! Your days are numbered, I guaran*tee ya* From Sunnyvale to South *Korea* Fire up that browser – we’ll *B-M-C ya!* -David J. Easter Sr. Product Manager, Solution Strategy and Development BMC Software, Inc. The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this E-mail *DEFINITELY *do not reflect those of BMC Software, Inc. My voluntary participation in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc. -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Sanford, Claire *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 11:13 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Bravo Susan! I couldn't have said it better myself! Go FAT! What a bunch of sizeists! -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arsl...@arslist.org] *On Behalf Of *Susan Palmer *Sent:* Friday, April 17, 2009 12:33 PM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? ** Since '95 I don't recall Remedy ever referring to it as the FAT client. Whenever I heard the term I thought it was an old geek term especially once web became more prolific. And as with most THIN clients in the past they did not have the full abilities of the FAT client which was many times overlooked since often THIN seemed to be preferred. But many people realized that the FAT client was more fulfilling and rewarding. Now THIN client has improved but will never be quite as good as the FAT client but many will continue to overlook that. Go FAT !! Susan :) On Fri, Apr 17, 2009 at 8:43 AM, Shyman, Jonathan jshy...@columnit.comwrote: ** No, see, that's no good beacuse it infers the existence of a smart client. You know, a client that will fill out most of the fields on a form for you, get you coffee, ask your boss for a raise and tell you it can't open the pod bay doors now. :) J.T. Shyman -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) on behalf of Reiser, John J Sent: Fri 4/17/2009 9:38 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? How about the dumb client? ARText Ver 1.5 --- John J. Reiser Senior Software Development Analyst Remedy Administrator/Developer Lockheed Martin - MS2 The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [ mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Carey Matthew Black Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 7:43 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: Etiquette Question: Is Fat Client offensive? Axton, I think I was more like this: RemedyWeb was the thick web client (applet based), (AKA Fat web client) ARWeb was the thin web client (DHTML/Javascript based)
Re: OT - Friday Humor
I read about that. The gun was affectionately named the Rooster Booster --- J.T. Shyman _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher J Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 8:36 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
ROFL! I wonder what's more expensive? Explosive rounds or frozen chickens? We may be able to simultaneously defeat terrorism and feed third world nations... From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher J Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Haha, Jennifer, that was funny. Thanks for making my day with your follow-up humour. Gary -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Meyer, Jennifer L Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 8:50 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor ** ROFL! I wonder what's more expensive? Explosive rounds or frozen chickens? We may be able to simultaneously defeat terrorism and feed third world nations... From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher J Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html_Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Didnt they do experiments similar to this on Mythbusters? Im sure I have seen one episode when they tested the myth about people flying out of a window from an airplane when the window is broken. I wonder if they did the test with a chicken Thanks Peter Lammey ESPN IT Client Architecture and Automation 860-766-4761 From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher J Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor ** This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail. ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Do you really think that Adam would pass on a chance to build a cannon that would shoot a frozen bird through a window? Of COURSE they did a show on that some years ago! One of my favorite shows on TV! On Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 9:49 AM, Lammey, Peter A. [EMAIL PROTECTED]wrote: ** Didnt they do experiments similar to this on Mythbusters? Im sure I have seen one episode when they tested the myth about people flying out of a window from an airplane when the window is broken. I wonder if they did the test with a chicken Thanks Peter Lammey ESPN IT Client Architecture and Automation 860-766-4761 -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] *On Behalf Of *Pruitt, Christopher J *Sent:* Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* OT - Friday Humor ** This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens *Christopher Pruitt* Consultant Specialist *EDS,* an HP Company mailto:* [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. *Confidentiality Notice:* This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ -- Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
I used to work there and have seen the infamous Chicken Gun first hand. It's located at Arnold Air Force Base, Tullahoma, TN. Thought you guys may enjoy the link = http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0JCA/is_/ai_n15623212 Cheers, Jase Brandon Quality Technology Services On Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 1:08 PM, Rick Cook [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Do you really think that Adam would pass on a chance to build a cannon that would shoot a frozen bird through a window? Of COURSE they did a show on that some years ago! One of my favorite shows on TV! On Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 9:49 AM, Lammey, Peter A. [EMAIL PROTECTED]wrote: ** Didnt they do experiments similar to this on Mythbusters? Im sure I have seen one episode when they tested the myth about people flying out of a window from an airplane when the window is broken. I wonder if they did the test with a chicken Thanks Peter Lammey ESPN IT Client Architecture and Automation 860-766-4761 -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] *On Behalf Of *Pruitt, Christopher J *Sent:* Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* OT - Friday Humor ** This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens *Christopher Pruitt* Consultant Specialist *EDS,* an HP Company mailto:* [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. *Confidentiality Notice:* This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ -- Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
oh yes, and I almost forgot... guess what software they use to run the whole thing - you got it - REMEDY.. ;-) Nothing like an Incident that says - Please dispatch sanitation to Chicken Gun after testing at 1800 Jase Brandon Quality Technology Services On Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 1:15 PM, Jase Brandon [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I used to work there and have seen the infamous Chicken Gun first hand. It's located at Arnold Air Force Base, Tullahoma, TN. Thought you guys may enjoy the link = http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0JCA/is_/ai_n15623212 Cheers, Jase Brandon Quality Technology Services On Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 1:08 PM, Rick Cook [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Do you really think that Adam would pass on a chance to build a cannon that would shoot a frozen bird through a window? Of COURSE they did a show on that some years ago! One of my favorite shows on TV! On Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 9:49 AM, Lammey, Peter A. [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Didnt they do experiments similar to this on Mythbusters? Im sure I have seen one episode when they tested the myth about people flying out of a window from an airplane when the window is broken. I wonder if they did the test with a chicken Thanks Peter Lammey ESPN IT Client Architecture and Automation 860-766-4761 -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] *On Behalf Of *Pruitt, Christopher J *Sent:* Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* OT - Friday Humor ** This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens *Christopher Pruitt* Consultant Specialist *EDS,* an HP Company mailto:* [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. *Confidentiality Notice:* This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ -- Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Yupthe name of the episode was 'Chicken Gun'...:) _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Lammey, Peter A. Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 10:50 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor ** Didnt they do experiments similar to this on Mythbusters? Im sure I have seen one episode when they tested the myth about people flying out of a window from an airplane when the window is broken. I wonder if they did the test with a chicken Thanks Peter Lammey ESPN IT Client Architecture and Automation 860-766-4761 _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher J Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor ** This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ _ Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
I seem to remember they goofed up their testing as well... They forgot to make sure the windshields they were testing were even rated for bird-strikes. From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of LJ Longwing Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 12:45 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor Yupthe name of the episode was 'Chicken Gun'...:) From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Lammey, Peter A. Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 10:50 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor Didn't they do experiments similar to this on Mythbusters? Im sure I have seen one episode when they tested the myth about people flying out of a window from an airplane when the window is broken. I wonder if they did the test with a chicken Thanks Peter Lammey ESPN IT Client Architecture and Automation 860-766-4761 From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher J Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 9:36 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT - Friday Humor This is allegedly a true story. Engineers at a major aerospace company were instructed to test the effects of bird-strikes (notably geese) on the windshields of airliners and military jets. To simulate the effect of a goose colliding with an aircraft traveling at high speed, the test engineers built a powerful gun, with which they fired dead chickens at the windshields. The simulations using the gun and the dead chickens worked extremely effectively, happily proving the suitability of the windshields, and several articles about the project appeared in the testing industry press. It so happened that another test laboratory in a different part of the world was involved in assessing bird-strikes - in this case on the windshields and drivers' cabs of new very high speed trains. The train test engineers had read about the pioneering test developed by the aerospace team, and so they approached them to ask for specifications of the gun and the testing methods. The aerospace engineers duly gave them details, and the train engineers set about building their own simulation. The simulated bird-strike tests on the train windshields and cabs produced shocking results. The supposed state-of-the-art shatter-proof high speed train windshields offered little resistance to the high-speed chickens; in fact every single windshield that was submitted for testing was smashed to pieces, along with a number of train cabs and much of the test booth itself. The horrified train engineers were concerned that the new high speed trains required a safety technology that was beyond their experience, so they contacted the aerospace team for advice and suggestions, sending them an extensive report of the tests and failures. The brief reply came back from the aero-engineers: You need to defrost the chickens Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
You forgot one: Android: Just hit search and Google will figure out where you are where you are going and let you browse until you find something interesting. By the time you are finished, you forgot where you were going. On Fri, Nov 14, 2008 at 7:25 AM, Pruitt, Christopher J [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** *Airplanes Running Operating Systems* Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them. *DOS**:* Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc. *DOS with QEMM:* Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing. *Macintosh:* All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a question, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up. *OS/2:* To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form asking how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers before you crash. *Windows**:* Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever. *NT:* The terminal and flight attendants all look like those the Windows plane uses, but the process of checking in and going through security is a nightmare. Once aboard, those passengers with first class tickets can go anywhere they want and arrive in half the time, while the vast majority of passengers with coach tickets can't even get aboard. *Unix:* Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the runway and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of plane they're building. *CAIRO:* The airplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13 airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you don't need to know where the airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you don't fly the airplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just like the real thing except that you don't go anywhere. But that's okay, because when the world is at your fingertips you never need to leave home. *Christopher Pruitt* *EDS,* an HP Company mailto:*** [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. *Confidentiality Notice:* This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ -- -Geoff Endresen Amazon.com ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
LOL - I love it, thanks Christopher Pruitt EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Geoffrey Endresen Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 2:56 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor ** You forgot one: Android: Just hit search and Google will figure out where you are where you are going and let you browse until you find something interesting. By the time you are finished, you forgot where you were going. On Fri, Nov 14, 2008 at 7:25 AM, Pruitt, Christopher J [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Airplanes Running Operating Systems Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them. DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc. DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing. Macintosh: All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a question, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up. OS/2: To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form asking how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers before you crash. Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever. NT: The terminal and flight attendants all look like those the Windows plane uses, but the process of checking in and going through security is a nightmare. Once aboard, those passengers with first class tickets can go anywhere they want and arrive in half the time, while the vast majority of passengers with coach tickets can't even get aboard. Unix: Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the runway and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of plane they're building. CAIRO: The airplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13 airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you don't need to know where the airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you don't fly the airplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just like the real thing except that you don't go anywhere. But that's okay, because when the world is at your fingertips you never need to leave home. Christopher Pruitt EDS, an HP Company mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] We deliver on our commitments so you can deliver on yours. Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ -- -Geoff Endresen Amazon.com __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday humor - 8.0 has been released!
Were they going to install it on Windows Server/SQL 2009, or Linux RHEL 6/Oracle 12? Did they offer a parking space for your flying car? Or at least to share their...um...source of inspiration? Rick On Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:18 AM, Timothy Powell [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I just got hit up for an engagement to do an upgrade from Remedy 6.x to 8.0. David Easter! When were you planning on telling us that 8.0 had been released! Now I'm behind the curve again. ;-) Tim ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday humor - 8.0 has been released!
Actually they do have a flying car... but we'll probably see version 8 before we see that in production. www.moller.com http://www.xconomy.com/2008/05/08/from-the-runway-to-the-road-terrafugia-redefines-the-flying-car-make-that-drivable-airplane/ Ben Cantatore Remedy Manager (914) 457-6209 Emerging Health IT 3 Odell Plaza Yonkers, New York 10701 [EMAIL PROTECTED] 06/06/08 11:37 AM ** Were they going to install it on Windows Server/SQL 2009, or Linux RHEL 6/Oracle 12? Did they offer a parking space for your flying car? Or at least to share their...um...source of inspiration? Rick On Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:18 AM, Timothy Powell [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I just got hit up for an engagement to do an upgrade from Remedy 6.x to 8.0. David Easter! When were you planning on telling us that 8.0 had been released! Now I'm behind the curve again. ;-) Tim ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday humor - 8.0 has been released!
Oh, I think we'll all be drooling on ourselves at the home before anyone invents a vehicle that moves in three dimensions in a way that overcomes the fact that most people have enough trouble navigating in two. It is a cool concept, though, for the exceptions to the rule! It's sort of like AR System. Some people can learn how to make it do some amazing things, and some...well...let's just hopefully say that they're otherwise gifted, and that we need those other things done, too. Rick On Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:49 AM, Benedetto Cantatore [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Actually they do have a flying car... but we'll probably see version 8 before we see that in production. www.moller.com http://www.xconomy.com/2008/05/08/from-the-runway-to-the-road-terrafugia-redefines-the-flying-car-make-that-drivable-airplane/ Ben Cantatore Remedy Manager (914) 457-6209 Emerging Health IT 3 Odell Plaza Yonkers, New York 10701 [EMAIL PROTECTED] 06/06/08 11:37 AM ** Were they going to install it on Windows Server/SQL 2009, or Linux RHEL 6/Oracle 12? Did they offer a parking space for your flying car? Or at least to share their...um...source of inspiration? Rick On Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:18 AM, Timothy Powell [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I just got hit up for an engagement to do an upgrade from Remedy 6.x to 8.0. David Easter! When were you planning on telling us that 8.0 had been released! Now I'm behind the curve again. ;-) Tim ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday humor - 8.0 has been released!
Well, if we were in three dimensions, then there would be less chance of hitting someone, at least you might not be on the same plane! Thanks, Gary Opela, Jr., RSP Remedy Engineer Leader Communications, Inc. http://www.5pointleader.com http://www.lcibest.com Best Product, Best People, Best PriceTM An ISO 9001:2000 Certified, CMMI(r) Level 3 Rated Company From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Rick Cook Sent: Friday, June 06, 2008 11:14 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday humor - 8.0 has been released! ** Oh, I think we'll all be drooling on ourselves at the home before anyone invents a vehicle that moves in three dimensions in a way that overcomes the fact that most people have enough trouble navigating in two. It is a cool concept, though, for the exceptions to the rule! It's sort of like AR System. Some people can learn how to make it do some amazing things, and some...well...let's just hopefully say that they're otherwise gifted, and that we need those other things done, too. Rick On Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:49 AM, Benedetto Cantatore [EMAIL PROTECTED]mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Actually they do have a flying car... but we'll probably see version 8 before we see that in production. www.moller.comhttp://www.moller.com http://www.xconomy.com/2008/05/08/from-the-runway-to-the-road-terrafugia-redefines-the-flying-car-make-that-drivable-airplane/ Ben Cantatore Remedy Manager (914) 457-6209 Emerging Health IT 3 Odell Plaza Yonkers, New York 10701 [EMAIL PROTECTED]mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] 06/06/08 11:37 AM ** Were they going to install it on Windows Server/SQL 2009, or Linux RHEL 6/Oracle 12? Did they offer a parking space for your flying car? Or at least to share their...um...source of inspiration? Rick On Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:18 AM, Timothy Powell [EMAIL PROTECTED]mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I just got hit up for an engagement to do an upgrade from Remedy 6.x to 8.0. David Easter! When were you planning on telling us that 8.0 had been released! Now I'm behind the curve again. ;-) Tim ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.orghttp://www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.comhttp://www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.comhttp://www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.comhttp://www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor (early, I know)
Nice one! I needed that... Thanks Matt! Wed Jun 04 2008 08:07:32 AM CDT from Matt Reinfeldt to arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT: Friday Humor (early, I know) ** Folks, It's been a long week already, so I thought I'd send this out early, as it made me smile this morning. J === Gates vs. GM For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon. In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash ...twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole. 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting ³lucky.² 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (Where did #10 go?) 11. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 12. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer. 13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you 14. Glibido : All talk and no action. 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 17. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at 3 AM and cannot be cast out. 18. Caterpallor ( n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. At 01:35 PM 3/14/2008, you wrote: Somebody o Place HolderInsert humor here/Place Holder Somebody out there has to have something... Darrell Reading Systems Engineer Phone 479.204.5739 [EMAIL PROTECTED] Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 805 Moberly Lane, MS-0560-68 Bentonville, AR 72716 Save Money. Live Better - ** This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error destroy it immediately. ** Wal-Mart Confidential ** ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Julie, Excellent !! Thanks...Gidd -Original Message- From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Julie Rockwood Sent: Friday, March 14, 2008 1:00 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole. 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting ³lucky.² 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (Where did #10 go?) 11. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 12. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer. 13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you 14. Glibido : All talk and no action. 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 17. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at 3 AM and cannot be cast out. 18. Caterpallor ( n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. At 01:35 PM 3/14/2008, you wrote: Somebody o Place HolderInsert humor here/Place Holder Somebody out there has to have something... Darrell Reading Systems Engineer Phone 479.204.5739 [EMAIL PROTECTED] Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 805 Moberly Lane, MS-0560-68 Bentonville, AR 72716 Save Money. Live Better - ** This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error destroy it immediately. ** Wal-Mart Confidential ** ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor: Happy Valentines like, whatever
Hey, fact checking stories should be de rigeur, but I don't have time to factcheck a joke list. Yer lucky I took the forwarding arrows and extra line feeds out. :) Rick On Fri, Feb 15, 2008 at 11:25 AM, Easter, David [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** (Gentle) FYI, these aren't from English teachers and they're not from last year. It's a contest run by the Washington Post in their Style Invitational column. Some of these are from 1999 - some from 1995. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031600738_pf.html http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/analogy.html Still very funny, of course. -David J. Easter Sr. Product Manager, Service Management Business Unit BMC Software, Inc. The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this E-mail do not necessarily reflect those of BMC Software, Inc. My voluntary participation in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc. -- *From:* Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] *On Behalf Of *Rick Cook *Sent:* Friday, February 15, 2008 9:03 AM *To:* arslist@ARSLIST.ORG *Subject:* OT: Friday Humor: Happy Valentines like, whatever ** Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. Rick __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor
Nice... ;- On 2/1/08, Shawn Rosenberry [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** Here is one for all those football fans getting ready for the big event on Sunday. Enjoy!! Four Quarterbacks go to Heaven God asks Eli Manninghttp://www.nfl.com/players/elimanning/profile?id=MAN473170first: What do you believe? Manning thinks long and hard, looks God in His awesome eye, and says, I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans. God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat next to him. God turns to Philip Rivers http://www.philiprivers.net/ and says, Philip, what do you believe? Rivers replies, I believe there's no such thing as luck, that everything is guided by Your hand. I've been judged on the field, and what I've achieved is not good fortune but rather my guided path. God is impressed with the depth of Rivers' response, and offers him a seat next to him. Then God turns to Brett Favre http://www.officialbrettfavre.com/ and says, What do you believe? Favre says, I believe in passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too have been lucky, but win or lose I've always tried to be a true sportsman both on and off the playing fields. God is greatly moved by Favre's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat next to him. Finally, God turns to Tom Bradyhttp://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601079sid=ag_ZP76GyN5grefer=home: And you, Tom, what do you believe? Brady replies, I believe you're in my seat. __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are html___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor - Got any lemons?
A string walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. Hey barkeep! A pint of your finest! he says. Sorry, can't do it. I'm not allowed to serve strings. the bartender says. The string hops down and walks outside the bar where he proceeds to mess up his hair and wrap himself around himself and loop himself through himself several times. He then walks back into the bar, hops up on a stool and orders again. A pint of your finest, please. Hey, aren't you that string from a few minutes ago? asks the barkeep. No, says the string, I'm afraid not (a frayed knot) J.T. Shyman Column Technologies _ From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Rahul AR User Sent: Friday, December 07, 2007 2:39 PM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: Re: OT: Friday Humor - Got any lemons? ** ho ho ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !! On Dec 7, 2007 10:23 PM, Durrant, Michael M. - ITSD [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** I don't know if you guys have heard this one, but it's one of my favorites --- A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, Hey barkeep, got any lemons? The barkeep, without looking up, answers, No, no lemons. The duck leaves the bar. The duck walks back in a few minutes later and asks the bartender, Hey barkeep - got any lemons? The barkeep, a little frustrated, tells the duck, No duck, we have no lemons. The duck leaves the bar. Moments later, the duck returns. Yo barkeep, got any lemons? Tired of this ruse, the bartender replies, Listen here duck, I ain't got no lemons. If you ask me again, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to my shiny bar. Capiche? As the duck heads out the door of the bar, he turns to the bartender and asks, Hey barkeep, got any nails? Surprised by this change of events, the bar tender says, No duck, I have no nails. Well then, the duck said. Got any lemons? The information contained in this email may be privileged, confidential or otherwise protected from disclosure. All persons are advised that they may face penalties under state and federal law for sharing this information with unauthorized individuals. If you received this email in error, please reply to the sender that you have received this information in error. Also, please delete this email after replying to the sender. __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ -- Regards Rahul __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor - Got any lemons?
ho ho ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !! On Dec 7, 2007 10:23 PM, Durrant, Michael M. - ITSD [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** I don't know if you guys have heard this one, but it's one of my favorites --- A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, Hey barkeep, got any lemons? The barkeep, without looking up, answers, No, no lemons. The duck leaves the bar. The duck walks back in a few minutes later and asks the bartender, Hey barkeep - got any lemons? The barkeep, a little frustrated, tells the duck, No duck, we have no lemons. The duck leaves the bar. Moments later, the duck returns. Yo barkeep, got any lemons? Tired of this ruse, the bartender replies, Listen here duck, I ain't got no lemons. If you ask me again, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to my shiny bar. Capiche? As the duck heads out the door of the bar, he turns to the bartender and asks, Hey barkeep, got any nails? Surprised by this change of events, the bar tender says, No duck, I have no nails. Well then, the duck said. Got any lemons? The information contained in this email may be privileged, confidential or otherwise protected from disclosure. All persons are advised that they may face penalties under state and federal law for sharing this information with unauthorized individuals. If you received this email in error, please reply to the sender that you have received this information in error. Also, please delete this email after replying to the sender. __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ -- Regards Rahul ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: Where the Answers Are
Re: OT-Friday Humor - Abbott and Costello
Thank you Claire this was great. Sanford, Claire [EMAIL PROTECTED] 8/31/2007 8:55 AM You may have seen this You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, Who's on First? might have turned out something like this: ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business . What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W. COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOT T: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! A few days later. ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on START. __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor...Maybe More Cool than Funny
Guess wether it's cool or not depends on your politics ... For sure, that's the way 90% of the world views the US right now, for better or worse. -A On Aug 31, 2007, at 10:06 AM, Kaiser Norm E CIV USAF 96 CS/SCCE wrote: ** Forgive me…this isn’t exactly funny, but I think it’s cool, and I know there are a lot of ex-military types on the list who might appreciate it: www.ladylibertyvictory.com/imagejpg.html Norm __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT-Friday Humor - Abbott and Costello
I'm defiantly not old enough to remedy Abbott and Costello, but I've heard of the famous sketch and after reading this I went over to youtube to watch the actual sketch. Truly some funny stuff. Thanks Claire. On 8/31/07, Sanford, Claire [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** You may have seen this You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, Who's on First? might have turned out something like this: ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business . What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W. COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOT T: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! A few days later. ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on START. __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ -- A fool acts, regardless; knowing well that he is wrong. The ignoramus acts on only what he knows, but all that he knows. The ignoramus may be saved, but the fool knows that he is doomed. Robert Halstead ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor...Maybe More Cool than Funny
It isn't necessarily politics. General Smedley Butler indicated it's more a matter of paying attention to what's really going on... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smedly_butler --Tim --- Andrew Hicox [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guess wether it's cool or not depends on your politics ... For sure, that's the way 90% of the world views the US right now, for better or worse. -A On Aug 31, 2007, at 10:06 AM, Kaiser Norm E CIV USAF 96 CS/SCCE wrote: ** Forgive me this isnt exactly funny, but I think its cool, and I know there are a lot of ex-military types on the list who might appreciate it: www.ladylibertyvictory.com/imagejpg.html Norm __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT-Friday Humor - Abbott and Costello
Bah, I've been working on Remedy too much... that should be remember. lol On 8/31/07, Robert Halstead [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I'm defiantly not old enough to remedy Abbott and Costello, but I've heard of the famous sketch and after reading this I went over to youtube to watch the actual sketch. Truly some funny stuff. Thanks Claire. On 8/31/07, Sanford, Claire [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** You may have seen this You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, Who's on First? might have turned out something like this: ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business . What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W. COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOT T: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! A few days later. ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on START. __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ -- A fool acts, regardless; knowing well that he is wrong. The ignoramus acts on only what he knows, but all that he knows. The ignoramus may be saved, but the fool knows that he is doomed. Robert Halstead -- A fool acts, regardless; knowing well that he is wrong. The ignoramus acts on only what he knows, but all that he knows. The ignoramus may be saved, but the fool knows that he is doomed. Robert Halstead ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor...Maybe More Cool than Funny
Tim, I take that to mean that we should be aware of what political family's patriarch was a particpant in the coup that Butler exposed, per the wikipedia article. Everyone else, if you don't know who that person was then you only get one guess as to what his last name was. Wealthy Pro-Nazis during that time continued their activities during and after congresional investigation, which should give everyone all the hint they would need. To me, the graphic is particularly offensive as it replaces the Statue of Liberty's torch (a symbol of enlightenment) with a blazing machine gun (pretty much the opposite of enlightenment). How anyone in this day and age could fail to see the irony of a gun-totin' tablet-of-justice carryin' Statue of Liberty and how that image plays to the view of America held by today's world boggles my mind. Norm, I'm 100% for a strong military, and I respect you as a person and as someone who knows pretty much everything there is to know about Remedy. But off-topic or not, that graphic should not have been posted to this forum. Drew Tulsa, OK On Fri, 31 Aug 2007, Tim Widowfield wrote: It isn't necessarily politics. General Smedley Butler indicated it's more a matter of paying attention to what's really going on... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smedly_butler --Tim --- Andrew Hicox [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guess wether it's cool or not depends on your politics ... For sure, that's the way 90% of the world views the US right now, for better or worse. -A On Aug 31, 2007, at 10:06 AM, Kaiser Norm E CIV USAF 96 CS/SCCE wrote: ** Forgive me this isnt exactly funny, but I think its cool, and I know there are a lot of ex-military types on the list who might appreciate it: www.ladylibertyvictory.com/imagejpg.html Norm __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor...Maybe More Cool than Funny
I am not in the mood to argue whether or not the original posting should have been posted. However, I am happy to say that this forum should NOT spend any time on US politics or political history as a result of the post. As much as those of us in the other 59 countries that receive the list might enjoy picking US foreign policy into little bits, it is the wrong forum for it. Enjoy a wonderful long weekend (in countries where that applies) and Labour/Labor Day :-) Daniel p.s. to be accurate, it was a URL that could optionally be followed not the graphic itself --- a bit snipped ... Norm, I'm 100% for a strong military, and I respect you as a person and as someone who knows pretty much everything there is to know about Remedy. But off-topic or not, that graphic should not have been posted to this forum. Drew Tulsa, OK ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor...Maybe More Cool than Funny
OK Daniel, the URL should never have been posted. Drew On Fri, 31 Aug 2007, arslist wrote: I am not in the mood to argue whether or not the original posting should have been posted. However, I am happy to say that this forum should NOT spend any time on US politics or political history as a result of the post. As much as those of us in the other 59 countries that receive the list might enjoy picking US foreign policy into little bits, it is the wrong forum for it. Enjoy a wonderful long weekend (in countries where that applies) and Labour/Labor Day :-) Daniel p.s. to be accurate, it was a URL that could optionally be followed not the graphic itself --- a bit snipped ... Norm, I'm 100% for a strong military, and I respect you as a person and as someone who knows pretty much everything there is to know about Remedy. But off-topic or not, that graphic should not have been posted to this forum. Drew Tulsa, OK ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT: Friday Humor
A project manager, hardware engineer and software engineer were in a car heading down a hill when the brakes failed. The driver managed to get it stopped by using the gears and a convenient dirt track. All three jumped out and after peering under the car the hardware engineer said, I see what the problem is and with this handy roll of duct tape I think I can fix it good enough to get us to the next town. The project manager quickly interrupted, No, no, no. Before we do anything we need to decide on a vision for our future, figure out a plan and assign individual deliverables. At which point the software engineer said, You know what, I think we should push the car back up to the top of the hill and see if it happens again. -Matt Matthew C. Gayford Technology Research Development Information Technology Systems Division University of North Carolina Wilmington (910) 962-7177 From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Gidd Sent: Friday, July 20, 2007 9:17 AM To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Subject: OT:Friday Humor ** Software Revision Levels Explained How should a revision level be interpreted? Here's a quick guide for anyone short of a clue: 0.1 WE GOT A REALLY GREAT NEW WAY TO DO THINGS !!! 0.9 Not ready for prime time. 0.9 We think it works, but we won't bet our lives on it. 1.0 Management is on our case; seems like a low risk. 1.01 Okay, we knew about that. All known bugs are fixed. 1.02 Fixes bugs you won't see in 27,000 years, i.e. more than three times the age of the universe. 1.03 Fixes bugs in the bug fixes. 1.04 All right, this REALLY fixes all known bugs. 1.05 Fixes bugs introduced in rev 1.04. 1.1 A new crew hired to write documentation. 1.11 From now on, no comma after i.e. or e.g.. 1.2 Somebody actually changed a functional feature. 2.0 New crew hired to write software. Old crew blamed for bugs. 2.01 New crew sending out resumes to placement agencies. 3.0 Re-write the software in another language, go back ten squares. ... return to line 0.1 The Software Development Process 1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team 2) Announce availability 3) Write the code 4) Write the manual 5) Hire a Product Manager 6) Spec the software (Writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the software meets the specifications) 7) Ship 8) Test (the customers are a big help here) 9) Identify bugs as potential enhancements 10) Announce the upgrade program __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ ___ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:Where the Answers Are
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Title: OT - Friday Humor ** You can raed it esaeir if you are dlsyeixc. Smoe teims a "hndsiacp" can wrok for you. And my sepll cechekr ddint filncth. John J. ReiserSoftware Development AnalystRemedy Administrator/DeveloperLockheed Martin - MS2The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long.Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher JSent: Friday, August 25, 2006 9:35 AMTo: arslist@ARSLIST.ORGSubject: OT - Friday Humor ** O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! ifyou can raed tihs psas it on !! Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS - Bank of America I3-Inventory IW Infrastructure Team Phone: +1-972-605-7702 (8-835) mailto:HYPERLINK "mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]"[EMAIL PROTECTED] Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake.__20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___
Re: OT - Friday Humor
Title: OT - Friday Humor ** Mine flinched 11 times on below... - Original Message - From: Reiser, John J Newsgroups: public.remedy.arsystem.general To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG Sent: Friday, August 25, 2006 9:43 AM Subject: Re: OT - Friday Humor ** You can raed it esaeir if you are dlsyeixc. Smoe teims a "hndsiacp" can wrok for you. And my sepll cechekr ddint filncth. John J. ReiserSoftware Development AnalystRemedy Administrator/DeveloperLockheed Martin - MS2The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long.Pay close attention and be illuminated by its brilliance. - paraphrased by me From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pruitt, Christopher JSent: Friday, August 25, 2006 9:35 AMTo: arslist@ARSLIST.ORGSubject: OT - Friday Humor ** O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! ifyou can raed tihs psas it on !! Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS - Bank of America I3-Inventory IW Infrastructure Team Phone: +1-972-605-7702 (8-835) mailto:HYPERLINK "mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]"[EMAIL PROTECTED] Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake.__20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___
Re: OT - Friday Humor
** I can read this fine, but I cnt rd txt msg spk tht esly. Heck, i can't even write in text speak, let alone actually read it. I get text messages from my daughter that are barely legible. Kids, eh? On 25/08/06, Pruitt, Christopher J [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: ** O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! ifyou can raed tihs psas it on !! Christopher Pruitt Consultant Specialist EDS - Bank of America I3-Inventory IW Infrastructure Team Phone: +1-972-605-7702 (8-835) mailto:HYPERLINK mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED][EMAIL PROTECTED] Confidentiality Notice: This message and any files transmitted with it are intended for the sole use of the entity or individual to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended addressee for this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any copying, distribution, or dissemination of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately destroy, erase, or discard this message. Please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake. __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___ __20060125___This posting was submitted with HTML in it___
