Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Why do you only put this in the women’s room? Perhaps you live somewhere where it’s unusual for a woman to ask a man to dance, but you say your sign goes on to say to find a dancer you want to dance with. And while I don’t question that men are more likely to do things to make a female partner

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

You and me both Ron, we steal from the best. Bob Green On Mon, Dec 18, 2017 at 4:33 PM, Ron Blechner via Callers < callers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: > This thread is great! > > I just wanted to throw out props to George Marshall who was teaching at > the end of his beginner lessons:

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

This thread is great! I just wanted to throw out props to George Marshall who was teaching at the end of his beginner lessons: accepting and declining and moving on with dance requests - earlier than I can remember other callers doing it. I've stolen my schtick directly from him. Ron Blechner

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Mary has made some very valid points. It would be good to emphasize that this is a dance "community", and that all people should be respectful of others. Many dancers take a "no" as a personal rejection and perhaps even as disrespectful. This tends to hurt the community as a whole and often

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

coming late also here, Dale, so stealing your "lesson" comments. We usually don't directly address the refusal part of the equation as we are so short of dancers, it's usually exhaustion that sits us out! lol...saying that...we do encourage new dancers to ask anyone (esp. those that look like

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

At the dances I've seen/called in and around VT, we don't address this directly (with signs or such). I've heard of the practice of sitting after declining, but I don't think it's a common practice for most folks these days. I'd say it's mostly fallen by the wayside. The one time I've seen it

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

On 12/17/2017 10:55 PM, Claire Takemori via Callers wrote: Kalia, At South Bay Contra ( SF Bay Area) we have a sign posted around the hall (edited from a sign that I got from Pasadena Contra that edited the sign from Lake City Contra).  It says: When looking for your next dance partner,

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Kalia, At South Bay Contra ( SF Bay Area) we have a sign posted around the hall (edited from a sign that I got from Pasadena Contra that edited the sign from Lake City Contra). It says: When looking for your next dance partner, please know: Anyone can ask anyone. Don’t wait to be asked. If

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

> Although I have occasionally heard of the "rule" that started this thread, I don't feel that people should ever be penalized for declining an offer to dance. Dale Unfortunately, although the rule in question was well-intended, it did lead to folks sometimes getting cornered by those they

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Great discussion. I'm chiming in late, but my $0.02. "No thank you. Maybe later." means you have some reason not to dance this particular dance with this person, but would be open to future offers. "No thank you." with a friendly smile is similar but less explicit. The above should cover 99%

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Greetings All, I really like JD's methods. When teaching I do an abbreviated version of that, but I think I'll expand it to include a _kind_ refusal, and universal participation during the lesson. My husband and I are dance organizers, and for several years have been working hard to make the

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

On 2017-12-16 1139, Kalia Kliban via Callers wrote: Hi all, snip To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been replaced, and what has it been replaced with? In your dance community, do you have a written statement of the etiquette around this? Our community's

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Oh, yes, I remember that rule. If I was asked by someone I really didn’t want to dance with, and I declined to dance with them, I would sit out the next dance in order not to hurt their feelings and I had to act as if I was tired or I wanted to sit it out, all the time wishing that I'd avoided

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

On 12/16/2017 2:10 PM, Alan Winston via Callers wrote: BACDS Code of Conduct says: http://bacds.org/conduct/CodeOfConduct.pdf "Ask a partner kindly.  Accept their answer cheerfully.  If you are repeatedly declined by a prospective partner, it is best to give them space. Feel free to decline

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

I think that person was really saying "no, sorry; I'm a total self-centered a-hole!" When doing a beginner session, I cover the basic asking to dance bit and then say something to the effect of "You're free to decline for any reason - just say "no thank you" and move on. You don't owe any

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

BACDS Code of Conduct says: http://bacds.org/conduct/CodeOfConduct.pdf - "Ask a partner kindly.  Accept their answer cheerfully.  If you are repeatedly declined by a prospective partner, it is best to give them space. Feel free to decline a dance with someone with whom you

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

I employ and teach the method that Angela suggests... but not always. I am old school enough that I may sit a dance after a refusal of an offer...but then I rarely refuse an offer to dance unless I really do need a rest or I have some other obligation. I think George Marshall's presentation in

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

I think the story you tell is a great reason why the older etiquette of having to sit out is silly and outdated -- I'd rather someone who doesn't want to dance with me just say "no thank you!" And continue about their business. As a caller, I teach that "yes, thank you!" and "no, thank you!" are

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

On 12/16/2017 12:01 PM, Alexandra Deis-Lauby wrote: This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great detail in terms of historical practice. http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/ And I hadn't realized until this conversation with my dance friend just how

Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great detail in terms of historical practice. http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/ Sent from my iPhone > On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers > wrote: > > Hi all, >

[Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Hi all, Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to