Right, as I say, I don’t think we have any basis for talking about this as a criminal act (though I am aware those who have opined so far on this list identify as men). If I read tomorrow that Anzari has been banned from Netflix over this I will be troubled. But that does not mean the interaction described amounts to nothing. I am willing to take the specfics reported on their face, because I think they are consistent with two different interpretations of the date - consistent with the perspective of a man and a woman. One perspective is of a guy willing to use his position and power to get sex from a woman without the bother of a long term relationship, the other of a woman thinking she was exploring the possibility of a real relationship and finding the guy was only interested in sex. This is not news, it happens on the time. It happens enough that it is worth coming to some consensus on how to avoid the kind of “misunderstanding” Ansari thinks happened here. If you want to have sex with a woman, ask before touching her genitals. If you think you had implicit permission to touch her genitals, and she lets you know she does not want it, then stop. Once she lets you know she doesnt want it, the fact that she does not run screaming from the room, or call the police, should not be interpreted as tacit permission to try again.
While there may be occasional, genuine misunderstandings, it really is not that difficult to work this out. WIthout knowing more (and it could be better or worse than it now seems), I would say Ansari;s behavior is somewhat less than that of a rapist, but somewhat short too of the behavior of a gentleman. On Sun, Jan 14, 2018 at 10:21 PM Kevin M. <[email protected]> wrote: > The writer of the article, one Katie Way, has quite an assortment of > headlines with her byline attached to them. Here are the most recent four: > > -- QUIZ: Plan your ideal 2018, and we’ll tell you what your makeup > aesthetic is > > -- God, sobriety, Mario Kart: Just a list of things we’ve pretended to > like to impress a crush > > -- Am I high as shit, or do these celebrities low-key look alike? > > -- Sorry, but Kendall Jenner can’t model for shit > > In the case of the article about Ansari, I am uncomfortable even > discussing the details of what was written in the story, because the writer > is not a journalist. Best case scenario, the writer took dictation or > transcribed what the alleged victim said (and I'm not sure the best case > scenario is what we are facing here). For "context" (those are sarcastic > air-quotes) the writer embedded video of Aziz Ansari doing stand up and > talk show appearances. Ansari's response didn't address any details, merely > reiterated what he'd written in their texts, that he believed the sex to be > consensual until he received a text wherein the woman said she was > uncomfortable after the fact. She did not directly accuse him of sexual > assault or abuse in those texts, and upon receiving what she texted, he > replied apologizing for any misread signals. This one doesn't seem to me to > be a career killer for Ansari. She wished him well on his movie plans and > thanked him for the dinner. He apologized. I'm curious if there were any > additional texts (you know... CONTEXT), but absent details -- realizing I'm > a male and my opinion will be regarded as penis-based -- this appears to > have been a date that ended badly and a guy who didn't act like a > gentleman. You can want to slap Aziz Ansari in the face for being a shitty > date, but I'm not sure what more we can take away from this one. Maybe if > the alleged victim's story had been told by a better writer I'd feel > differently. > > On Sat, Jan 13, 2018 at 11:55 PM, Kevin M. <[email protected]> > wrote: > >> This is now trending on social media. I'm not defending Ansari; not >> personally a fan. But I've not heard of this blog before, and the victim >> isn't named, so -- despite the specificity of certain details -- I'm not >> sure how much credence to give to this allegation. I know, I know, as a >> dude I'm an asshole for even suggesting a sexual assault story might be >> made up -- I am not saying that. I'm saying the woman isn't named and the >> blog isn't known to me, so it is difficult to simply take it at face value. >> For all I know, the blog is hugely popular in social circles I don't travel >> in, the story was written by a Pulitzer prize winner, and the anonymous >> woman in question has a genuine story to tell and a genuine fear of >> reprisal causing her to go unnamed. I am willing to believe the anonymous >> victim, but I have trust issues in my own personal life, let alone with the >> words of strangers. I can't see or hear the woman with my own eyes and >> ears, and I don't know anything about the person who wrote the story. If >> somebody can tell me something about babe.net that will assure me of its >> credibility, please do so. Right now, I'm just shocked a story from an >> obscure blog is trending. Hawaii had a nuclear missile scare, but that >> isn't trending. >> >> https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355 >> -- >> Kevin M. (RPCV) >> > > > > -- > Kevin M. (RPCV) > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "TVorNotTV" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > -- Sent from Gmail Mobile -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TVorNotTV" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
